A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style
by flashpenguin
Summary: Dave and Em are about to be married, but on the eve of their nuptials Dave's inner demons come back to haunt. Now it's up to 3 ghosts from his past to set him straight and show his future. But will they save him in time? COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_Well, folks, it's that time of the year again! The temperatures are dropping - along with the leaves. The fires are crackling and families are gathering around the tree to celebrate the joy of the season. It should be that easy for the team. Christmas is the season for rebirth and this series is about looking at the past, acknowledging your faults, and embracing your future with open arms. _

_Dave Rossi and Emily Prentiss are about to be married. They have finally found their soul mate in each other. But Dave has a secret…or rather a past that is preventing him from the happiness he thinks he doesn't deserve. As he gets ready to chuck it all, 3 ghosts come back to haunt…er, visit and show him that what could have been wasn't what was supposed to be. And though it's never to late to say "I'm sorry" it can be too late to make things right._

**Song prompt: "Saint Forgiveness" by Tamara Champlin. **

_**This story is dedicated to Tamara and Bill Champlin. Thank you so much for your friendship and your wonderful songs. There are not enough words to thank you. You are truly a blessing in my life.**_

**A Christmas Carol…Dave Rossi Style.**

Dave Rossi was bent over the stack of papers on his desk. His pen furiously wrote out the copy of his notes from the previous case. It had been a bad one: a man murdering his fiancée one week before their wedding and then brutally murdering six innocent people to throw investigators off his tracks. And all because he was afraid that his pregnant lover would be exposed before the wedding and cause it to be called off.

A total sociopath was all Dave could use to describe the scumbag. Scribbling his name in the bottom of the page, he flipped the manila folder closed. It was done. Now he could relax. Suddenly, his phone rang.

"Rossi," he greeted.

"Where are you?" Hotch asked.

"What do you mean? I'm in my office." Dave stacked the folders and moved them to the side of the desk.

"Did you forget that we're supposed to be getting our final tux fittings in an hour?" Hotch asked.

Dave closed his eyes. He had forgotten. He checked his watch.

"I'll be down there in five."

"What are you going to tell Emily if she catches you?"

"The truth. That last case took it out of me and I had to finish my report," Dave replied.

"I know. Well, make it quick. If we miss this appointment, the women will skin us."

"Which is nothing compared to what Emily would do."

"Exactly." Hotch disconnected. Dave snapped his phone closed and stood up. He reached for the sports coat on the back of his chair.

A knock interrupted him. Before he could answer, Em whisked in, folders in her hand.

"Are you still here?" she asked with surprise in her voice.

Dave grimaced. "Yes."

"Aren't you and Hotch supposed to be getting your last fitting?" Em moved closer to the man who had been her off and on again partner for so many years and was now about to become her partner for the rest of her life. She had never imagined that when the great David Rossi had walked thru the doors of the FBI that long ago Halloween's eve, that they would be getting married on Christmas Day. It was almost too perfect.

"I got behind on that last report." Dave looked down into Em's dark brown eyes as his arms went around her waist.

"I'm glad," she whispered huskily and wrapped her arms around Dave's neck. "I get to spend a few more minutes with you."

"Are you saying that you are willing to break FBI regs?" Dave's eyebrow rose in question. A smile tugged on his lips.

"What can I say? I've been corrupted." Her fingers fiddled with his hair. Ever since the first time they shook hands, she could barely keep her hands off of him. She was disappointed that he was running late for his fitting, but she reveled in being able to have that little bit of time with him.

"Are you stating that I've corrupted you?" Dave wondered.

"Maybe." Em kissed him lightly. She felt that familiar tingle go thru her body as their lips met. She had always wondered what all the fuss was about, but the moment they had shared their first forbidden kiss, her world had been rocked.

Dave responded accordingly…until Em's hands began to stroke him. Slowly, he pulled back.

"Em, I have to go," he tried to excuse himself.

"Just a couple of more minutes," Em pleaded. "I won't be seeing you for a while."

"I'll be home tonight. I promise," Dave said as he tried to untangle himself.

"Okay." Em smiled. "But you know that mother will be wanting me to spend the rest of the time at her place until the wedding?"

"I'm surprised that she's letting you marry me," Dave quipped.

"She doesn't have a choice," Em replied firmly. "You are my fiancé. And it's not as though we're exactly going into this blind. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"She is paying for half the wedding," Dave reminded. "So, she still has a choice."

"Well, I've made up my mind. Nothing is going to change it." Em smiled lovingly at the man she would lay her life down for in a New York minute. She leaned in and kissed him again. "I have to run these down to the file room; I'll see you later."

Em turned and hurried out of the office. Dave finished putting on his coat. As he reached for his phone and his overcoat, he paused. Em's words rang in his ears. Closing his eyes, he sighed.

_Well, I've made up my mind. Nothing is going to change it. _

"I wouldn't bet on it," he muttered. Turning the knob, he let himself out and closed the door soundly behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

_I hope you don't mind that I decided to change things up by breaking that first chapter into two. Something didn't feel right, and as I've always been told "You go with your gut when it comes to a story; it has to be written the way that makes YOU feel comfortable." So I am! Here is the new and improved second chapter into what is going to bring down Dave Rossi. But save your rocks, you may need them for later!_

**A Christmas Carol…Dave Rossi Style.**

"You look good," Hotch observed as he glanced at Dave in the mirror. He tried not to move as the tailor finished making the necessary marks on the fabric of the black slacks.

Dave fiddled with his bow tie. "I guess." He gave a quick glance in the full length mirror, then looked away.

"What's wrong?" Hotch asked. He looked carefully at the man who was his best friend. Ever since the engagement had been announced, he had noticed the new difference in Dave. But over the past couple of days, he had noticed something else he couldn't put his finger on.

"Nothing." One simple word that said everything.

"Could you give us a couple of minutes?" Hotch asked the tailor. Looking at both men, the older gentleman picked up his sewing kit and ambled out of the small room. Hotch waited for the door to close.

Turning toward Dave, Hotch studied the man closer. "What's wrong?" he repeated.

"Nothing," Dave repeated but his tone was different than earlier.

"You might be a world class profiler, but if you think you can bullshit me and get away with it, then you don't know me."

Dave sat down on t he chair and buried his face in his hands. "Aaron…."

Hotch looked at his friend in surprise. "What's wrong?" he asked with concern. "Is it Emily?"

Dave shook his head. "No. It's me."

"What do you mean? I thought you were ready for marriage number four?" Hotch joked lightly to try and lighten the suddenly negative atmosphere.

"I thought I was," Dave admitted. His fingers nervously played with the knot in his tie.

"And?"

"Now I don't know."

Hotch sat down across from Dave. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know if I can go thru with this." Dave stood up. "I don't think I'm ready."

Hotch blinked. "You're not _ready_?" he parroted stupidly. "You've known Emily longer than any of your three ex-wives combined. You've been thru more with her than all three of your marriage down moments combined. You know her deep dark secrets, and she knows yours. I think you're more than _ready_."

"It's not that…" Dave searched for the right words.

"What is it?"

"That last case made me step back and look at things more closely. I don't think I'm good enough for her."

Hotch laughed out loud. "I don't think any of us are good enough for women we're involved with. But I don't think they're complaining."

"When Em finds out who I really am, she will be."

"What have you done?" Hotch asked, the joking was gone.

"Nothing. I just wonder…" Dave searched for the right words. "She doesn't know everything."

"You mean about Emma." It wasn't a question.

"I wonder if I'm not marrying Em because she looks like Emma. Hell, even the first two letters of their names are the same."

"When did you learn this?" Hotch wondered.

"I kept hoping this feeling would go away." Dave shrugged.

"Yet, you still went thru with the engagement and let the wedding plans be made." Hotch grew angrier.

"It's not what you think. I just need some time to sort things," Dave argued.

"Your wedding is in a week, Dave! How much time do you need?"

Dave stopped pacing and sat down again. "You want the truth? I hate Christmas."

"You hate Christmas? You're getting married on Christmas! You just realized this?" Hotch asked.

"I thought I could go along with it and pretend that everything was alright. But now as the day is coming closer, I can't go thru with it."

"Then you better tell Emily…unless you plan on having your funeral on Christmas Day."

"What do I say? 'Hey, Em, I should have told you this, but I don't like Christmas. My dad died on Christmas Day and so did Emma'," Dave replied sarcastically.

"It's a start. At least you stop lying to her and yourself."

"If I tell her, I will be shot."

"If you don't and she finds out, you're going to be shot anyway, but JJ and Garcia will be on the opposite ends of the gun barrels."

Dave ran a hand over his face. "You're right. Except Garcia doesn't believe in guns," he corrected.

"Hurt her sister and I think all bets will be off." Hotch's tone was deadly serious. The air was heavy with unspoken words and truths.

"I'll tell her. Tonight." Dave untied the bow at the base of his throat. "Of course, there might not be a wedding."

"Emily is a reasonable woman. I have no doubt that she will hear your side of the story and give you the benefit of the doubt," Hotch said.

"You think so?"

Hotch nodded. "I do. Honesty is the best policy with Emily Prentiss."

"You're right."

Hotch knocked on the door to let the tailor know they were ready. "Now let's get these tuxes fitted; I can't wait to see you going down the aisle for the last time." He slapped his friend on the back.

"Yeah. For the last time," Dave smiled. But it never reached his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

_If you want to throw rocks at Dave, feel free._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

The reception hall bustled with activity as people milled around talking, dancing, and eating. At the long table, Dave and Em sat flanked by the rest of the team. Music poured thru the speakers to add to the ambience of the moment.

"You look beautiful dear," Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss commented to her daughter.

"Thank you, Mother," Em replied as a light blush colored her cheeks. Nervously, she smoothed the fabric of her dress down.

"And you look very handsome, too, David." Elizabeth sipped her champagne and took in her soon to be son in law.

"Thank you, Ambassador." Dave met Elizabeth's eyes quickly, then darted away to concentrate on the people dancing to the strains of Dean Martin singing "Winter Wonderland".

"Are you alright?" Em leaned in to ask.

"Why do you ask?" Dave returned. He was only half paying attention to her.

"You don't seem like yourself."

"I have a lot on my mind." Dave looked at his watch. He mentally calculated the time remaining until he could make his escape. The action didn't escape Em's observant eye.

"Are you positive everything is alright? If you need to step outside for a moment…" She swallowed nervously. Something was wrong and she couldn't put her finger on what it was, but obviously it was bothering Dave. If she hadn't worked so close beside him for so many years, she would have concluded that it was cold feet - and who could blame him? - but it was more.

"Emily…" Dave looked over to Hotch who was carrying on a conversation with JJ. The room was suffocating as the sudden feeling of the walls closing in surrounded him. He had to get out of there.

Pushing back from the table, he started to stand up when the tinkling of a knife on crystal filled the room.

"Attention everyone!" Elizabeth Prentiss's strong voice called out. "May I have your attention?" she repeated. Movement on the dance floor came to a stop as people looked toward the dark haired woman dressed in red velvet. Like everything else in her life, her evening gown was tasteful and politically correct.

Waiting for everyone to sit, Elizabeth took a deep breath. "As you all know, you were invited here tonight to help celebrate the engagement of my only daughter Emily to David Rossi." She waited for the applause to die down before continuing.

"I know that the rehearsal dinner is supposed to be held the night before the wedding, but unfortunately, that would have been on Christmas Eve and the hall was closed. So, we moved it forward." Turning slightly, Elizabeth bestowed a smile on Emily. "I never thought this day would happen…my daughter marrying the man of her dreams. And though David Rossi has his baggage, he loves Emily more than I could have imagined…."

As Elizabeth droned on, Dave felt himself tense. It was no secret about his three prior marriages or his reputation. It was well known about his achievements and accolades from three presidents. But having it exposed to everyone was grating on his nerves. He looked around for an escape route.

He felt a light touch on his hand. Em was reaching for him. But he couldn't let her touch him. He didn't deserve her. She was too good for him. His fingers reached up and tugged at his collar. He couldn't breathe.

"Dave?" Em asked. Concern was in her eyes. She had noticed the way he pulled back and how his eyes darted around the room. He looked like a caged animal bent on escape. She barely heard her mother's voice as she concentrated on Dave. Was he having a heart attack? Could she motion for Hotch without causing a commotion?

"Dave?" Elizabeth asked at the same time Em did. The room went quiet as all eyes swung to the world famous father of modern day profiling.

"Would you like to say a few words?" Elizabeth continued.

"Go," Em encouraged.

"Em…I don't think that would be a good idea," Dave replied under his breath.

"What do you mean?"

"We need to talk."

"Dave?" Elizabeth prompted.

"We can talk after you speak," Em said. "Just make it quick." She winked at him. Squeezing his hand, she smiled lovingly.

Looking around at the team, and then at the guests, Dave realized that he didn't have a choice. But Emily did. Standing up, Dave straightened his coat. Looking down at Em, he paused.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever. Murmuring low, the guests looked at Dave and then Em. The great author was at a loss for words.

Realizing something was wrong, Hotch cleared his throat. "Dave, what is happening?"

Taking a deep breath, Dave opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this."

Laughter erupted.

"Very funny, Dave," Em said.

Dave turned toward his fiancée. "I'm sorry Em, but as much as I love you, I can't marry you."

"Dave, what the hell are you doing?" Hotch growled.

"Stop him!" Garcia cried.

"I know that I promised that I would never hurt you…and I should have said this earlier, but you deserve much better than me," Dave continued.

Em blinked in shock as the colour drained from her face. "I…"

"Keep the ring, Em," Dave said. He turned to face the guests. "Thanks for coming. Sorry I had to waste your time."

Turning on his heel, Dave strode out of the room with purpose. Whether he knew about the devastation he created, he couldn't worry about it. He had done what he needed to do.

Now Em could go on with her life.

And he could go on with his.

Finding his way down the short hallway to the front door, he pushed the heavy double doors open. A cold blast of air hit him squarely but he didn't care. He never looked back as the wind slammed the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

_Feel free to start chucking rocks at Dave._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Dave poured himself a drink two fingers high and threw it back. He had only been home less than an hour, but he felt as though it had been hours. But it didn't matter because he had one intention: get drunk off his ass until morning.

Pouring more of the amber colored liquid, he looked at the bottle. Two thirds full…just a start. Though nothing was going to dull the pain in his heart. And there sure wasn't going to be enough liquor to dull the pain of the bullet that he was sure the women of the BAU were engraving with his name.

As he started to throw the drink back, a loud pounding on the front door startled him. Caught off guard, Mudgie ran to the door and started barking furiously. Dave set the glass down and walked to the foyer. Taking a peek thru the security hole in the door, he sighed. A part of him wanted to swing the door open, but the other part figured he could pretend that if he ignored the intruder, they would go away.

The pounding was louder and only increased Mudgie's howls.

"Damn you, Dave Rossi!" Emily Prentiss's voice called out. "Open this door right now!"

Dave debated. Either way, he was a dead man.

"I know you're in there! Open this door!" Em pounded again.

She was going to shoot him….and who could blame her? Maybe if he waited it out until morning, he could go to work. At least there he would be safe.

"If you don't open this door by the count of three, so help me God, I'm going to call Morgan and Hotch to help me bust it down!" Em thundered.

Dave sighed. It couldn't wait until morning.

Unlocked the deadbolts, he paused before turning the knob. Slowly, he swung the door open.

"Hello, Emily," he greeted without enthusiasm.

"Don't 'hello Emily' me!" she spat. Pushing against him, she stormed into the foyer. If it was possible, the anger she was feeling seemed to add an extra chill to the already bitterly cold air.

Thinning his lips as he braced himself for what was to come, Dave closed the door. "What brings you here tonight?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Don't you try to play innocent with me, you anal retentive bastard! You know damn well why I'm here!" Em's eyes blazed with fire and anger. "How dare you!"

"Em…let me explain…"

"Let you explain? Can you? Really? Are you that ingenious with words that you can explain to me why you did what you did in front of our friends? In front of my mother's friends?" she shouted.

"Em…."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear your excuses! How could you do this to me? You said you loved me, and this is what you do! Are you insane?" she asked rhetorically. "Have you lost your mind? Because if you have, I can accept that a lot easier than what just happened back at the reception hall."

"There's a lot going on in my life," Dave said.

"And that gave you permission to destroy me…you…us? In front of everyone?"

"I didn't mean to do it that way."

Em blinked fast. "Which way did you want to do it?"

"I tried to get hold of you before we went out tonight…."

"So this is _my_ fault?"

"Yes…no," Dave corrected.

"You bastard!"

"Em, calm down. Let's talk about this rationally."

"Rational? After what you did? I can barely think straight. You ought to be glad I came unarmed. How's that for rational?" she snapped.

"Touché. Could you please lower your voice then?" Dave asked.

Em crossed her arms over her breasts and leveled a glare at the man she had adored beyond words. Once.

"You have two minutes. Then I call Hotch."

The clock ticked in the distance as it counted off the seconds.

"I never meant to hurt you," Dave started. Em raised her chin and turned away. "If you can't believe me on anything else, believe me there."

"When did you know that you didn't want to marry me?" Em whispered.

"A couple weeks ago," Dave admitted.

"And yet you kept up the façade of everything being okay?"

"Yes."

"You worked beside me and made love to me, and all the while you knew that deep down inside you were going to break up with me?" Em's voice quavered. Tears threatened to spill.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry! Sorry is an excuse! You hurt me….whether you intended to or not!"

Dave had no reply. For once he was at a loss for words.

"Did you ever love me?" Em whispered.

"Em…."

"Did…you…ever…love….me?" Em repeated slowly, accentuating every word so he would understand.

Dave started to speak but stopped. No matter how he phrased what was in his heart, it was going to hurt Emily. Slowly the minutes ticked by as he tried to form his thoughts into words.

"I thought I did," he finally said.

"You thought you did?" Em croaked. "You _thought_ you did?" Her words were strained as though it was taking everything she had to say them and not lash out.

"Love isn't easy for me, Em. And I really thought I could get over whatever it was that prevented me from moving on and acquiring happiness. I really wanted this - us - to work," Dave admitted.

Em's lower lip trembled. "Emma." One word. Said so sadly it was though the word had been dipped in tears.

"I never meant to hurt you," Dave repeated, but his words sounded hollow.

"But you did. You compared me to a dead woman. You compared what we had to what you had…or couldn't have with her. You lied to me."

"I did."

"And if your conscience hadn't gotten the better of you, you would have continued to lie to me." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"You embarrassed me and you humiliated me in front of everyone because you can't let go of a memory. Is this what destroyed your three marriages? No, you know what? I don't want to know. It doesn't matter. Emma hurt you, you hurt your ex wives, and then you hurt me. I hope you're happy."

"Emily…."

"But you know what?" Em continued as though he hadn't spoken. "You'll never be happy. Even if you had gotten Emma, you wouldn't be happy because you don't know what happy is! You're miserable and I hate you! You're going to die lonely because you are caught up in this fantasy of a dream woman who doesn't exist."

"Are you done?" Dave asked coldly.

"No. You need to know that first thing tomorrow, I'm putting in for a transfer. At least I'll never have to see you again!"

Rushing for the door, Em yanked it open and ran outside. Dave listened to the click of her heels on the concrete, then the slamming of a car door. Seconds later, the engine turned over and the sound of tires screeching on the pavement pierced the night.

Whining, Mudgie sat in the doorway. He barked for Em to return, but all he could do was watch her leave.

"She's gone, Mudgie," Dave commented. "It's time to come inside."

Heartbroken, the black Lab lay down on the porch and refused to move.

"It's going to get cold, boy; you need to come inside," Dave ordered gently. Reaching down, he touched Mudgie's collar. Instantly, the dog snapped at him. "If you stay outside, you'll freeze."

Turning his head, Mudgie looked at where Em's car had been parked. Then he whined.

"Okay. Have it your way."

At a loss for what to do, Dave went inside and closed the door.


	5. Chapter 5

_Comeuppance is a biotch._

**A Christmas Carol…Dave Rossi Style**

Monday morning dawned bright in Quantico, but the mood at the BAU was dark and grim. The usual jovial attitude was replaced with sadness and anger normally reserved for UNSUBs but was now directed toward the second floor office door next to Aaron Hotchner's.

Dave had arrived early to work - before the rest of the team - and cloistered himself inside the four walls hanging with original art work and accolades signed by four presidents. On the far wall hung the photo of the team. Once upon a time he had considered that picture the closest thing to a family portrait, but now he could feel the six pairs of eyes burning into him with hatred.

And he deserved it. Every bit. But there was no going back and changing everything; he had made his decision and now he had to see it through. Start to finish with nothing in between. Unfortunately, Em had become one of the casualties. His heart squeezed painfully.

"Stop it, Dave," he ordered himself. Picking up the pen, he started signing the stack of papers. Maybe his wedding was off, and the team hated him, but he was still going on his holiday vacation. Hell, the days were approved and he had already lost one first class ticket, why lose both?

A knock on the door interrupted him. "Come in," he invited while continuing his writing.

"Can we talk?" Morgan asked as he stepped inside.

Dave laid the pen down. "What about?" He leaned forward and templed his fingers under his chin in thought.

Morgan closed the door and moved toward the massive desk. "I need to ask you a favour." Dave raised his eyebrow but remained silent. "I need to go to Chicago…I agreed to take a place on Swann's team because I thought my family wasn't getting together because of airfares being too expensive…."

"Derek, get to the point."

Morgan took a deep breath. "You're not getting married, so I was wondering if we could trade places."

"Trade places?"

"If you need a day off, I'll stand in for you. But I need to go to Chicago."

"Why?"

"Is it any of your business?" Morgan challenged.

"It is when it means that I have to put my plans on hold."

"On hold? You don't have plans since you kicked Emily to the curb? Or have you forgotten the other night?" Derek sputtered incredulously.

"That shouldn't put a wrench in my personal plans," Dave returned nonplussed. "But you still haven't told me why I need to change places with you."

Morgan's cheek twitched. "It's personal."

"You're going to see another woman?"

"That's none of your damn business."

"Cheating on Penelope?" Dave couldn't help but goad the young man standing in front of him. "Does she know?"

"You bastard!"

"Truth hurts?" Dave gave Morgan an evil smile.

"I came in to ask you a favour. But I should have known better! You don't care about anyone but yourself. I knew from the moment I met you that you were never a team player; the word isn't in your dictionary."

"There is a 'me' in team…if you rearrange the words carefully," Dave said with a shrug.

"Emily was right when she called you an anal retentive, neat freak."

"And now you know why I didn't want to marry her."

"You didn't want to marry her?" Morgan spat. "She didn't want to marry you! She felt sorry for your ass! And honestly, if you hadn't broken it off, I would have kidnapped her and held her until she came to her senses!"

"Get out of my office!" Dave growled. "Before I throw you out!"

"You think you're so much better than the rest of us because you wrote books and give seminars on profiling, but when all is said and done, you're no different…" Morgan paused. "Maybe you are. You had your chance at happiness and you pissed it away. Only an idiot does that. And this team doesn't have idiots. We are a family. We love one another and we stand behind them." He moved toward Dave.

"And when warranted, we stand in front of them to protect them from assholes bent on destroying them because they want happiness." Morgan placed his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "You know what? I don't care about going to Chicago because I don't want you doing me any favours. I don't make deals with the devil. And besides, if my not going to Chicago means that you get out of our lives, then it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

Morgan held Dave look for a long minute. Neither man moved.

"If it means that much to you…." Dave started.

"Take your plane ticket and shove it up your ass!" Morgan spun on his heel and hurried to the door. "And for you information, Emily has moved on; she's spending Christmas with Hotch and Jack. Shows you that you weren't quite the centre of her universe as you thought, huh?"

Yanking the door open, Morgan slammed it hard behind him.

It took five seconds for Morgan's words to sink in. In the blink of an eye, he was out of his office and bursting into Hotch's.

"That was low even for you, Aaron."

Hotch murmured something into the receiver and replaced it on the base. "What are you talking about?"

"I know about you asking Emily to your place for Christmas."

"And if I did?"

"What happened to being a stickler for the rules?"

"I learned to break them from the best," Hotch replied. His gaze held the older agent's - almost if daring him to deny everything.

"I'm not comfortable with you taking Emily out," Dave said evenly.

Hotch shrugged. "I don't care. Emily is no longer your concern…personally or otherwise. You know that she put in for a transfer to the academy, so what happens here at the BAU shouldn't bother you."

"What happened to 'no fraternization' among co-workers?" Dave replied snidely.

"She's out of the loop now. She's fair game."

"You can't date her."

"You can't tell her - or me, for that matter - what we can or cannot do. You lost that right when you embarrassed her the night of your rehearsal dinner."

Dave let out his breath slowly. "So that's how it is? You go after my woman when I'm down?"

Hotch came around the desk and stood in front of the man he had once admired and looked up to. "I'm going to be frank with you: you're an asshole. I used to emulate you and wonder how I could siphon that knowledge that you have…or had and make it mine. But you know what? You can have it back. You were my hero. Now…." Hotch paused as he considered his words. "I don't care. I would much rather you were the one to put in the transfer. Hell, do us all a favour and retire again."

"You can't talk to me like that!"

Hotch got in Dave's face. "I am the BAU Unit Chief and I can talk to you any damn way I want. I've changed my mind - I want _you_ off my team. Today."

"I'm not leaving. I'm still senior agent on this team."

"You don't have a choice. I've already submitted your name to Director Thomas. You leave tomorrow…"

"I'm not going anywhere!"

"You can, and you are." Hotch turned to walk back to his desk.

"I can see why you're not going to be winning 'Father of The Year' any time soon," Dave stated coldly. Hotch froze. "Maybe if you spent as much time with Jack as you have trying to get into Emily's pants…."

Dave never finished his statement as his world was suddenly filled with stars.


	6. Chapter 6

_So, you think you know who the ghost is going to be that visits Dave first? Well, we'll see. Now, on with the story!_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Dave Rossi took a sip of his scotch and rubbed his cheek. It didn't hurt as much as it had a few hours ago, but it was possible that the liquor had numbed the pain…as well as everything else. And he was thankful for it.

The fire snapped in the fireplace loudly. It should have brought him comfort, but even the heat couldn't stop the chill that filled his body. His life was a disaster. He had lost Em, pissed off the team, dissed Morgan, and got punched by Hotch.

"Yep," he muttered as he sipped the potent, fiery amber drink, "it was definitely one helluva week." He spied Mudgie walk in to the room. "Hey boy," he called out. In response, the black Lab turned and walked away.

Dave sighed and checked his watch. The yellowish glow of the fire illuminated the numbers slightly. Eight o'clock. Twelve more hours before he had to fly out to Hawai'i. Thank God he had to get to the airport two hours early, but even that wasn't going to come fast enough to get him out of Quantico.

Maybe he could go upstairs and pack, he thought with a wide yawn. He stretched, his hand brushed against a picture frame, knocking it to the ground. The dull sound of glass cracking reached his ears. Bending over, he picked it up. Unconsciously, his hand touched the photo. His heart squeezed painfully.

Em.

He thought he had gathered up everything to toss out, how did he miss this? He wondered as her wide smile beamed back at him.

Suddenly, his hand flung the picture across the room. The glass shattered as it hit the wall.

"To hell with it!" Dave shouted as picked up the glass. He finished off the scotch and reached for the bottle. But it was empty. Muttering an expletive under his breath, Dave considered getting up to get more, but on second thought, he needed to be sober so he could drive to Reagan in the morning.

Leaning his head back against the chair, he closed his eyes. Just a few more hours and he could forget the BAU and Emily Prentiss. With any luck, he could forget them for good.

Suddenly a loud crash filled the air. Jumping out of his chair, he looked around.

"What the hell was that?" he exclaimed as Mudgie ran for the front door barking frantically. Determined to find out what was on the other side, Mudgie pawed at the oak.

"Hold on, boy," Dave cautioned as he grabbed his robe that hung on the coat tree. Slipping it on, he tied the belt. Without much thought for his safety, he opened the door and stepped out on to the porch. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He finally made out the fallen tree in the yard. His car! Without thinking, he ran out into the snow toward the drive way.

Holding his breath, he looked around to see the damage. Peering in the moonlight, he made out a few scratches, but everything was intact. He breathed a sigh of relief. He would be able to leave in the morning.

Traipsing back to the house, he shook the snow from his slippers before opening the door.

"Come on boy," he called to Mudgie. "It's time to go inside." But when he looked down, the dog was gone. Where was his dog? "Mudgie? Where are you boy?"

Joyful barking from inside the house caused him to pause. Mudgie very rarely - if ever played - and when he did, it was with Em. His heart picked up for a moment before he forced it to slow down. He was over her. But who was making Mudgie bark?

"Mudgie?" he asked as he stepped carefully inside the foyer. Without warning, the door slammed behind him causing him to jump out of his skin. The smell of burning tobacco tickled his senses. His guard went on alert. He wasn't alone.

"Who's there?" he called out. He reached for the baseball bat he kept near the stairs. He picked it up and tip toed toward the study. Mudgie's barks increased in volume. Whoever it was knew the dog. Now he was flummoxed.

Edging around the corner, he looked in the room. There was a figure leaning against the bar, but he couldn't make out who it was. He tried the switch on the wall, but the power was out. A bit of fear filled him.

"Whoever you are, you're trespassing in the home of a federal agent," he warned. "My dog is trained on command and I'm armed. I would suggest that you leave now if you know what's good for you."

The figure turned around slowly.

"Is that how you greet all of your guests?" Jason Gideon asked and took a puff of the cigar.

Dave blinked. "Jason? What are you doing here?"

"Smoking the best damn cigar money can buy…until you ruined the moment by threatening to sic your dog on me," Jason replied and took another puff. "Al Capone. You certainly have great taste in cigars. And in women. Too bad you don't know how to hold on to either one."

"I'm going to ask you again, politely: what the hell are you doing in my home?" Dave barked.

"Saving you from yourself, you arrogant asshole! What do you think?" Jason shot back.

"I'm thinking that this must be some kind of bad dream." Dave lowered the baseball bat. "At least I hope it is."

"You and me both," Jason muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Want a drink?" Jason twisted off the lid and poured generous amounts of scotch in the glasses on the bar.

"That's my scotch! Put that back!"

"Finders keepers. But with that attitude, you might not have this for much longer."

"What do you mean?" Dave eyed his former partner who thrust the glass toward him.

"Take the damn drink."

"I don't want the drink."

"Take it!"

Dave stepped closer. "I don't want it!"

"David Rossi, Hotch already punched the crap out of you today, are you looking for me to beat the living shit out of you, too? Now take the damn drink and sit down."

"And if I don't want to?" Dave asked defiantly.

"That's your choice, but I have a job that needs to be done - regardless whether you want to participate - and I'm going to fulfill my end of the bargain."

Dave raised his eyebrow. "What bargain?"

"My ticket out of hell."

Dave scoffed. "You're kidding me! You're in hell? Since when? You're not even dead."

"I'm not? Are you sure?" Jason gulped the liquid. "Damn, this is good!"

"I haven't heard one way or the other, but…"

"I know," Jason shrugged. "You've been busy. And hearing the news might open old wounds for the team. I understand. But if I was alive, how would I have known about you mouthing off to Hotch and him clocking you with a left hook that would have made Rocky weep with jealousy?"

"Luck."

"Luck is what prevented your ass from getting a well deserved beat down." He thrust the glass at Dave. "You got off easy today. Suspension when you get back and a transfer. Personally, I would have fired your ass. But I can't. What I _can_ do is show you the error of your ways."

"Why is this feeling like I'm becoming trapped in some kind of warped version of a Charles Dickens novel?"

"Aren't you the one who said that nothing is coincidence?"

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying this is pay back?"

"Pay back would be you losing everything you own and dying the lonely asshole you've become. But there are people who care about you."

"Oh?"

"Unfortunately, they don't reside at the BAU." Jason thinned his lips and shook his head in mock sorrow.

Dave snorted. "Are you saying that I have guardian angels?"

"Yeah," Jason admitted reluctantly. "Even a cold hearted son of a bitch like you has something good in their corner…although after what you did to Emily the other day, a bunch of your angels booked."

"My angels _abandoned_ me?" Dave sputtered.

"Ran like hell is probably a better term. But a couple decided to stick around and fight for your soul."

"And you? What is your role? God?" Dave asked sarcastically.

"And here I thought I was the one with the attitude problem. Those angels have their work cut out for them."

"Let me guess: Ghost of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future. I know the routine. So, who are they going to be?"

"Who do you want them to be?" Jason challenged.

"Knowing you, they are probably my ex-wives which means it's the ghosts of Christmas Hell three times over." Dave drained his drink. "Maybe I'll have some more of this."

Jason poured the scotch. "I'll be the first to admit that there is no love lost between us, but even I'm not cruel enough to impose that on you. Besides, you'd be expecting that. Let's just say that the angels you'll be encountering all have had a significant impact on your life at one time or another."

"Oh crap! They better not be the UNSUBs I've sent to hell!"

"Once again, you'd be getting off too easy."

"So, when is this momentous experience supposed to take place?" Dave wondered with half interest.

"In a hurry? Where do you need to go?"

"Hawai'i. I need a vacation."

"Ah."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing." Jason drained his drink. "That was good. You know, Dave, we never really saw eye to eye on anything other than how the BAU was formed. That was our child. Then you walked away. I thought I could do it on my own, but I realized that one man can't make a difference…at least not a significant one. I couldn't understand the criminal mind any longer. And maybe that's because it no longer intrigued me. I envied you getting away."

"You did get away…or rather, you ran away like a coward."

"Yeah, I did. And I have had to live with my sin for years now. But looking at where you are right now, being a coward is better than being an asshole."

Dave took a swing but his fist went thru Jason. "What the hell?" he barked.

"You'd better save your anger because I have a feeling that when this night is done, you'll be getting yours back in tenfold." Jason reached down and petted Mudgie. "Well, Mudgie, it was good seeing you again. I'll say hi to your parents."

"You're not going anywhere, Jason!"

"I hate to drink and run, but what's coming up next meant for your eyes only and three would be a crowd. Say hi to Hotch when you see him and tell Reid I'm proud of him."

Jason slowly evaporated into thin air leaving Dave staring at the spot on the floor for long seconds. Only when Mudgie began scratching the floor where the former agent had stood, did Dave snap out of his stupor.

"Just like Jason…come in, do something incredibly off the wall, and leave someone else to clean up the mess." Dave sighed. The fire was running low. Walking over to the fireplace, he moved the grate and added a couple of pieces of wood. As he stood up, a gust of wind blew into the room and extinguished the flame.

"What the…?" he exclaimed as the room went pitch dark. "This isn't funny."

Another breeze moved in. Mudgie growled. Dave tensed up. Was the first visit about to happen?

"Who's there?" he called out.

A soft, gentle laugh filled the room.

"Hello, Dave. I've come to claim my locket."


	7. Chapter 7

_For those who haven't figured it out, Emma is the ghost of Christmas past. I would say "let the journey begin" but first the former lovers have to clear the air._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

_"Hello, Dave. I've come to claim my locket."_

Dave froze. He knew that voice. It was the same one that had haunted him for years and through each of this three marriages. It was the voice of the woman he had compared every other woman to: Emma.

Slowly, he turned around. And then his heart stopped.

Beautiful as the last time he had seen her, it was as though no time had passed. Her hair was still black and curly, her blue eyes danced with merriment, and her skin was still flawless. She was even more beautiful than he remembered…if that was possible.

"Hello, Dave," she repeated.

Dave swallowed. Then swallowed again. He was drunk to the point of hallucinating his true love.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she prompted gently. "When we dated, I couldn't get you to shut up for five minutes…unless I was kissing you. Now I can't get you to say one word."

"Emma." Her name came out somewhere between a sob and a prayer.

"So, you haven't forgotten me." She stepped forward. "How have you been?"

"Better. You?"

"Better." The silence seemed to stretch forever. "You seemed surprised to see me. Didn't Jason warn you that I was coming?"

"He mentioned that I was going to be visited, but he was a little vague about who the ghosts might be," Dave admitted.

"I asked him…."

"That's Jason Gideon for you. I guess some things never change," Dave groused. He eyed Emma from head to toe. "You're just as beautiful as I remember," he complimented.

"And you're just as handsome…if not more so, than I remember. I like the goatee…it adds a bit of sophistication."

Dave brushed his whiskers arrogantly. "You think so?"

"I see you're still as arrogant as I remember."

"I was never arrogant."

"Oh really? What would you call it?" she challenged.

"Self confidence."

"Semantics. I remember you being a tad arrogant, but never this bad. What happened? Who broke your heart so that you thought you didn't deserve happiness?"

"You."

"I'm sorry."

Dave waited for an absolution that seemed to be taking its own sweet time.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked.

"I don't feel different."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought that if I got it off my chest and made my peace with you that everything would fall into place."

"And?" she prompted.

"Nothing's changed. There is no light feeling in my heart, no birds singing…no heaven's opening to pour out the warm glow of forgiveness and bathe me in redemption," Dave replied sarcastically.

"You have watched too many Hollywood movies. That's not how it happens. Besides, you've become too jaded for the light of heaven to pierce your heart."

"And that is why you are here." It wasn't a question.

Emma shrugged. "One of them. You have been carrying your guilt around for too long and now it's clouding your judgment. You had no reason to hurt Emily the way you did."

"You know about her?" he asked surprised.

"I know everything about you. I know about your three failed marriages and how you compared me to all of them. I know about your numerous affairs and the fraternization policy enacted because of them."

"You make it sound more sordid than it was." Dave shifted uncomfortably.

"But I also know about your best sellers, the numerous accolades, the letters of commendation, and all the lives you've saved."

"Then why are you here if all of that is known? Shouldn't that have wiped the slate clean?"

"No good deed wipes out intentionally hurting someone so badly that they wish you were dead, Dave. You could have saved a school bus full of children from a wild bear and the team would still beat you down for the way you've treated them."

"I'm through with them." Dave walked over to the bar and poured a drink.

"Don't you think you've already had enough of those?" Emma asked gently.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Dave shot back snidely.

"Such as where?"

"With your beloved husband?"

Emma looked down at the floor. "He's…those things take time to…" She blinked quickly. "Redemption is different for everyone."

"So, you've focused on me instead? I'm his replacement?" Dave asked. "No thanks!"

"Dave, listen to me…"

"No, Emma. I'm not a charity case, and I'm not a replacement for that scumbag husband of yours who decided to kill people as revenge for your death." He drained the glass and slammed it on the counter. "Go back from where ever you came from and forget that I exist!"

"NO!" Emma shouted. Dave looked at the woman he had always known to be cool, calm, and collect. Only once had she ever lost her temper with him. And something warned him that the second time around was going to be worse than the first.

"What my husband did was unforgivable, but that is between him and God. I can't save him because he went too far in his revenge to right wrongs. But you're different…"

"You think you can save me?" Dave broke in.

"I thought so."

"Why?"

"Because there is still something good inside of your heart still. You still care even when you pretend you don't. There is still love in your heart."

"You're wasting your time. There is no love in my heart. Maybe…once…I don't know. But now…"

Emma closely scrutinized the man standing in front of her. Her heart broke, but at the same time, her anger began to build.

"I can't believe that I loved you," she spat. "I can't believe that once upon a time I seriously considered spending the rest of my life with you. But I see you here - the way you are now - and I say to myself: Emma, you made the right choice by letting him go; look how he's treated the women who have passed thru his life; at least you made your escape."

Dave searched for the words to refute her statement, but he came up blank.

"What? No snarky comeback? No denial?" Emma continued. "You've blamed me for all the failed relationships you've had. Well, guess what? Some of that…no scratch that! ALL of those failed relationships rest on your shoulders."

"Emma…"

"I was a minute in your life, Dave. _A minute!_ But it's gone on to be an hour! Get ready," she demanded.

Dave hesitated. "Get ready for what?"

"I'm going to show you why you hate Christmas."

"Emma, this isn't necessary…"

"Yes it is!" She reached out and grabbed his hand tightly. "Where shall we start first?" She considered the possibilities. "Yes, I think that would be perfect."

"What is going on? What about Mudgie?"

"Mudgie can take care of himself. Isn't that right, boy?" she asked sweetly. Mudgie barked his agreement.

"I…"

"Hold on, here we go."

The room began to swirl around them. Then they were gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Dave blinked against the harsh light that was reflecting in his eyes. Plus, his stomach was roiling from the sudden movement as Emma guided them somewhere that he could only surmise was an alternate universe.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked.

Dave swallowed and took a deep breath. "I'll be okay."

"You look a little green."

"Really, Emma? I see your driving technique hasn't improved," he quipped. "Next time let me get the Dramamine first."

"Just take a deep breath."

Dave did as he was told. As the world stopped spinning, he blinked as the scene unfolded before him. "Where are we?" he asked slowly.

"Commack."

"No."

"Well, you're already here, so you might as well make the most of it."

Kids rode bikes around them while others had snowball fights. The screams of victory and defeat filled the air. Dave felt the sudden rush of tears fill his eyes.

"Do you remember this moment?" Emma asked gently.

Dave wanted to say that he had never forgotten when suddenly a door slammed open and a dark haired boy came bounding down the stairs with a sled in his hands.

"_Jimmy!" a young Dave called out. "Look what I got for Christmas!"_

"_Cool!" Jimmy Ryan shouted as he ran over to his best friend. "I got a bike!" He showed off his brand new two wheeler with the basket on the front. _

"_Your parents are really cool." Dave looked at the red bike with envy. "I wish I had gotten a bike but I got the sled."_

"_I think it's pretty neat."_

_Dave kicked the snow. "No. It's just that my mom is still worried that I might fall down and hurt myself. I'm not a baby anymore."_

"_But Dave, you were really sick. They care about you. You know, I said a prayer for you and lit a candle while you were in the hospital."_

"_Really?"_

_Jimmy nodded. "Yep. Every day. I told God that if you got better, I would become a priest."_

_Dave frowned. "You a priest? You can't be a priest; you were going to marry Courtney Sullivan."_

"_But a promise is a promise. And you can't break a promise to God." Jimmy started to tie the sled to the back of his bike. Dave looked around at the kids playing._

"_I know. My mom says that hanging around you is going to make me a delinquent."_

"_Oh yeah?" Jimmy's eyes twinkled. "But I'm going to be a priest, so you're pretty safe."_

"_Maybe I'll grow up to be a police officer," Dave mused._

"_There!" Jimmy declared and stood back to admire his handiwork. "Get on and I'll pull you."_

"_But…" Dave hesitated. "My mom will get mad."_

"_Davy, how else are you supposed to ride a sled? Besides, it's just up and down the street."_

_Dave went to speak when a scream made him jump. It only took a second to take in the young girl crying and the snow on her face. Without regard to his safety, he ran over. He knelt down in front of the girl._

"_Are you okay?" he asked as he took in her bright red face._

"_He hit me!" she wailed._

"_Baby!" an older boy shouted out. _

_Before Dave could reply, a snowball hit him in the face hard. Caught off guard, he fell to the ground. Winded, he took a second to regroup, then stood up. "I dare you to do that again," he snapped at the bully as he shoved the girl behind him. "Stand behind me," he whispered while his hands frantically moved behind his back._

"_So, the baby needs someone to protect her," the bully taunted. "Come out, baby."_

"_If you hit her again, I'll make you sorry," Dave threatened. He planted his feet firmly._

"_Oh yeah? You and what army?"_

_Before the bully could speak again, a large snowball came out of nowhere and hit him squarely in the face. In an instant, he was down on the ground. Dave was on him. As the struggle ensued, a crowd quickly gathered. There were equal cheers for both boys and for a moment, the bully got the upper hand until Dave flipped him over and pushed his face into the soft snow._

"_Say uncle," Dave shouted._

"_Unc…uncle," the bully sputtered._

"_Now tell her you're sorry. Say it!"_

"_I'm sorry. I'm sorry."_

_Dave pushed his face down again and stood up. A cheer greeted him. Brushing the snow off, he walked over to the little girl._

"_Thank you," she whispered._

_Dave wiped the moisture from her cheeks. "You're welcome. By the way, I'm Dave." He stuck his hand out._

_Looking at it, the girl hesitated, then grabbed it. "I'm Emma."_

"_Do you want to go for a sled ride?" he asked._

_Emma nodded. "Yes!"_

"_Come on. I'll give you a ride."_

Emma looked over at Dave. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he replied but his voice cracked.

"That was a good Christmas. You saved me. You and Jimmy. And he grew up to be a priest." She smiled at the memory. "And you grew up to be a police officer."

"A federal agent."

"Same difference. I think I fell in love with you that day. You were my hero."

Dave smiled as he watched the children go up and down on the sled. "That was a good moment," he agreed.

"But there were other Christmases that weren't so happy…"

"Don't do it, Emma," Dave pleaded. "Let's just leave this here while it's good."

Emma shook her head. "I can't."

In a moment, they were ahead in time eight years. The scene changed from snow outside to the inside of a barracks.

"_You wanted to see me, sir?" Dave asked as he stood at attention outside the Commanding Officer's door._

"_Come inside and close the door," the officer ordered. Dave stepped inside as ordered. He stood at attention in front of the desk. "At ease, Corporal."_

"_Sir, yes, sir." Dave automatically went to parade rest._

"_Corporal Rossi, it pains me to have to tell you this on Christmas Day." The officer opened a folder and pulled out a piece of paper. In the corner was a red cross. "I received word that your father passed away early yesterday."_

_Dave went to speak but stopped. When he found his voice, it cracked. "My father? Are you sure?"_

_Looking down at the telegram, the officer cleared his voice. "Anton Michael Rossi is your father?" he asked. Dave nodded ever so slightly. "It says he died from a heart attack yesterday." He closed the folder. "I'm sorry to have to break this to you on Christmas," he apologized again._

"_Yes sir." Dave blinked quickly. He was a Marine and Marines didn't cry in public…especially in front of their Commanding Officers. _

"_A plane ticket is waiting for you at Admin and the OOD is going to drive you to the airport as soon as you can pack. I take it your dress uniform is ready for travel?"_

"_Yes sir."_

"_Then go get changed and packed and be back here in twenty minutes. Understood?"_

"_Yes sir."_

"_You may leave." _

_Dave gave a salute that was returned. Then he spun on his heel and blindly headed toward the door._

"_Corporal Rossi," the older man called out. "Merry Christmas."_

_Dave struggled to find his voice. "Merry Christmas, sir." He turned the knob and left._

"You had to show me that, didn't you?" Dave asked angrily.

"I'm sorry, Dave. But you had to see it again."

"No I didn't. I want to forget that ever happened."

"Forgetting about it won't make it like it never happened."

The scene changed immediately to a house in Commack. Inside the rooms bustled with people. In the corner of the room, Dave was busy unwrapping his gifts.

"_Thank you, Mom," he said as he held up the wallet with his initials engraved on the leather._

"_You're welcome," Maria Rossi replied tearfully. She looked her son over. "You're so handsome in your uniform. I wish your father could have seen you."_

"_I know. I'm sorry I missed the funeral."_

"_It's alright. Your father understands. So do I."_

"_It's not alright!" a sharp voice broke in. Dave braced himself as his father's sisters entered the room. "Where were you, young man when your father needed you?"_

"_I was at boot camp. I…"_

"_Learning how to kill people! That's what you were doing! While your father was calling for you, you were God only knows where learning how to fire guns that will kill people."_

"_No, it's not like that!" Dave protested._

"_It says in the Bible 'thou shalt not kill'. Do you go to Church?" the older woman asked. _

"_Yes ma'am. Every Sunday."_

"_And you take Communion? Do you know what you are?"_

_Dave nodded. "Yes ma'am."_

"_How dare you? You are the worst son ever! Your father was a saint, and what does he get in return? A son like you!"_

"_Concetta, stop!" Maria demanded._

_Everyone in the room stopped talking as they looked at the older woman screaming at Dave. Her face was a mixture of anger and grief and she was directing everything toward the young man she held responsible for her brother's death._

"_If you hadn't decided to go off and play war, you could have been here to help your father! He did everything for you, but you didn't care! Even when his heart was bad and the doctors told him to slow down, he kept working to make sure you had the best of everything. And this is how you repay him." She spit on Dave._

"_Concetta! Stop!" Maria pleaded as she tried to shield her son._

"_Leave my sight and never come back! Do you hear me? I curse you that you will never know happiness for the rest of your life!"_

"_I'm sorry," Dave said as he set the gifts down on the coffee table. He looked at his watch. "I have to go." He hurried out of the main room and toward the back of the house to his bedroom. He gathered a few items and shoved them in his duffel._

"_Davy, don't go," Maria pleaded as she came into his room._

"_I have to catch my plane. The storm in Chicago put me behind. If I'm late getting back, I'll be listed as being AWOL." He fastened the duffel and swung it over his shoulder._

"_I'm so sorry. She means well…."_

"_I know, Mom. I'm sorry that I wasn't here for Dad."_

_Maria put her hands on Dave's shoulders to stop him. "Your father understood. His last words were that you stay strong and make him proud. I know you will. Just put your faith in God, and He will lead."_

"_I know, Mom."_

"_Be good, Davy. I love you." She drew her son into a tight hug._

"_I won't be coming back."_

"_Don't say that. You will change your mind after things have settled down. Please don't shut me out of your life. Come back to me."_

_"I will try."_

_Maria pulled back. "Don't let this make you bitter, Davy. Don't let her cold heart freeze yours."_

_Dave forced himself not to cry. _"_When I get settled, I will send for my stuff."_

_Maria nodded. "Go with God, son. Call me when you get back to California."_

"_I will__. I love you, Mom." Dave picked up his bags and left the room._

_"I love you too," Maria whispered into her handkerchief._

"I'm sorry," Emma said softly. "I didn't know."

"How could you? You were out of town with your family when this happened."

"But you didn't come back."

"I said I wouldn't."

"Not even for me."

"Is this trip down memory lane over?" Dave asked.

"Not yet."

Sighing, Dave closed his eyes and held on.


	9. Chapter 9

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"I want to go home," Dave stated.

"I can't do that," Emma sympathized.

"I've seen my wrongs and I'm paying for them. I don't need to see any more."

"It doesn't work that way, Dave. I'm sorry."

Dave took a deep breath, held it, then let it out. The butterflies were churning in his stomach but he wasn't going to be sick in front of Emma. He would rather die first.

"So, what's next?"

"I think you know." There was sadness in Emma's blue eyes. She didn't want to hurt the man she would always love, but she didn't have a choice. Everything was out of her hands. She was just following along.

_The large crowd of people stood around the casket as the priest made the sign of the cross. _

"_In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."_

"_Amen," the crowd chorus respectively then broke up. At the head of the casket, Dave stood solemnly._

"_She loved you so much."_

"_Thank you, Jimmy." Dave kept focus on the mahogany box and tried not to think of his mother lying inside on the satin in her favourite dress, clutching her favourite flowers. _

"_You came back just in time. She was worried that you wouldn't make it."_

"_I don't break my promises. She needed me, and…"_

"_I know." Jimmy laid his hand on Dave's shoulder. "You are a good son." The crowd was thinning. He looked up at the figure approaching them. "Hello, Emma."_

"_Hi, James. Can I speak to Dave?" she asked nicely._

"_Sure. Tell your mother I'll be there for dinner next Sunday." He moved on to talk to the mourners._

"_I didn't think you'd come back," Emma told Dave._

"_I couldn't let my mother die without me letting her know how much I love her. I missed that out with my father."_

"_It's sad that she passed so close to Christmas."_

"_I know." Dave shifted uncomfortably. "Emma, I was wondering…I'm graduating from college in January and the FBI is going to recruit me once I get out of the Marines, so I'll be in Quantico - which isn't far from Commack…"_

"_What are you asking?"_

"_Marry me."_

"_Dave…" Emma's eyes filled with tears._

"_I love you, Emma. I always have. There will never be any one for me but you."_

"_Don't do this here, right now."_

"_Please."_

"_I can't."_

"_What?" Dave felt as though he had been punched. "I don't get it. Don't you love me?"_

"_I do. I have always loved you. And we have something we'll never have with any one else, but I can't marry you."_

"_Yes, you can. I'll get out of the Marines and join the FBI…"_

"_I don't want to leave Commack. Ever."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because it's my home. My family is here."_

_Dave took her hands in his. "I know, but I want you to be with me. What can I do to make you say 'yes'?"_

"_Move back to Commack," she stated simply._

"_I can't. I can't stay here. I promised my mother that I would make her proud of me and be happy. Joining the FBI will make me happy."_

"_And that is why I can't marry you. I won't make you happy. You deserve a woman who will make you happy. A woman who is just like you. And that isn't me. I want a man settled in Commack so we can raise our children here. Would you give up the FBI for me?"_

_Dave hesitated. His brown eyes bored into Emma's blue ones. "I can't."_

_Emma nodded. "I know. I will always love you." She stood on tip toe to kiss his cheek. "Good-bye Dave." She walked away._

_Standing alone beside the casket, Dave felt the tears run down his cheeks as the snow gently fell…_

"I'm sorry for doing that to you there," Emma apologized.

"You should have said yes and let me take you away from there."

"Dave, I was nineteen; I wasn't ready for marriage."

"You didn't love me," he groused.

"I always loved you, Dave," she corrected. "I just didn't love you enough to marry you. I wouldn't have made you happy. Chances are if I had married you, Susan would've have been ex-wife number four instead of three."

"I shouldn't have left Commack. I should have stayed with you."

"You had to do what was right for you. I wasn't right for you. I think you knew that deep down inside."

"I could have made you happy."

"But you wouldn't have been happy. You would have learned to hate me. And then you would have missed out on saving all of those people," she said gently.

Dave continued to watch the younger version of himself for a long while.

"What's next? My divorce that came thru on Christmas Eve? The Christmas themed wedding to Caroline? The time I got stuck in Flagstaff on a case and a blizzard hit?" he asked sarcastically.

Emma shook her head. "No." She took his hands in hers. "I think you know which one…" Her voice trailed off.

"No, Emma! Don't do this to me." Dave's eyes widened as fear coursed thru his body.

"I'm sorry, Dave."

_The scene changed to Dave's bedroom. The lights were out and light snoring filled the room. All was quiet. Too quiet._

_Suddenly the phone rang._

_Ominous ringing filled the master bedroom._

_Groaning, Dave rolled over and blindly reached for the phone. Twice he missed the receiver before grabbing it._

"_Rossi," he greeted thickly. His hand tried to wipe away the remnants of sleep._

"_Dave? It's Ray."_

"_Ray? What are you doing calling me at…" Dave looked at the clock on the nightstand. "At three in the morning?"_

"_Did I wake you?"_

"_Yeah." _

"_I'm sorry. I thought you'd be out of town on the case."_

"_We got a break and caught the scumbag; just in time for Christmas."_

"_That's good. That's good."_

"_What's wrong?" Dave asked._

"_Something's happened…"_

_Dave's profiler instinct went on high alert. "Is it your mom?"_

"_It's Emma…"_

_Dave's blood ran cold. "Emma?" he replied stupidly._

"_She…she was killed last night," Ray choked out._

_Dave sat up in bed. "What? How? When?" His heart stopped then began racing at top speed._

"_She was on her way home…a car jumped the median…it was head on."_

"_What?"_

"_She never knew what hit her."_

"_You're wrong! Emma isn't dead! I just ran into her in New York a month ago!" Dave protested._

"_Dave, listen to me, please. Emma was killed by a drunk driver."_

"_What about her husband?"_

"_He was at the office finishing something…I don't know. He wasn't in the car." Silence greeted his statement. "Dave? Are you there?"_

"_I'm here," Dave rasped._

"_Are you okay?"_

"_No, Ray, I'm anything but fucking okay at this moment," Dave snapped. His chest tightened and threatened to burst from the pent up emotion._

"_I'm sorry. I'll find out when the funeral is and call you back."_

"_Okay." Dave hung up the phone. Then he buried his face in his hands and wept._

"Oh Dave!" Emma cried. "I didn't know!"

"It was Christmas morning when I got the call." Dave watched himself on the bed. All the emotions he thought he had buried came back in full force. "I should have been there."

"You couldn't have known that was going to happen."

"I think I knew I had to get you out of Commack. If I had tried a little bit harder, you would still be alive."

"I made the decision to stay. Nothing you said or did would have made me change my mind."

"I was going to call you Christmas Eve," Dave admitted. "Something told me to call you and wish you a Merry Christmas. But I didn't. I got side tracked….and then it was too late…"

"It wasn't your fault. I probably would have missed your call," Emma comforted. "I was running all over town that day because we had a party to attend."

"Is it true what Ray said? You never felt it?" Dave whispered.

Emma nodded. "Yes. It was over before I knew what had happened. I was searching for my phone - I looked down - and the next thing I saw was a flash of white light."

Dave's lip twitched.

_Dave stared at the picture on his desk. His eyes lovingly traced the out line of Emma's face as he memorized every line and curve. The phone rang._

"_Rossi!" he barked into the receiver._

"_Dave, it's Ray. I'm at the airport waiting. Where are you?"_

"_I'm not going."_

"_Why not?" Ray shouted over the commotion in the background._

"_It wouldn't be right."_

"_She was your friend; of course it would be right."_

"_I can't disrespect her husband."_

"_The hell you can't! You loved her and she loved you. Nothing can change that."_

"_I thought it through. You can go in my place."_

"_Are you crazy?"_

"_I can't say good-bye."_

"_But I can? You owe her a farewell."_

"_I sent flowers."_

"_Flowers my ass! Get on the next plane and get your ass out here to Commack before I go down to DC and pound some sense into your sorry ass!" Ray shouted._

"_Make my apologies. I have to go."_

"_Don't you hang up on me, Dave!"_

_Dave hung up the phone. Then he went over to the tree in the corner and began taking off the ornaments._

"So, why didn't you go?"

"Because it wasn't my place to impose on your family."

"My mother always liked you."

"But your husband didn't. And his feelings are what mattered."

Emma watched Dave disassemble the tree. "Is this when you stopped celebrating Christmas?"

"Just about. I put the tree up because I thought it might be nice to have something to come home to after the case."

"Oh Dave…"

"I never got to say 'I love you'. I never got to tell you how I felt about you," Dave said in a strained voice.

"I loved you too. I always have. You were my first and I can never forget that. You have always owned the biggest part of my heart," Emma said softly.

"But…"

"We weren't meant to be. I didn't belong with you. Just like the women you married to erase my memory…I think you understand what I mean. But Emily…"

"I'm not right for her. She deserves better."

"Don't you mean you deserve better?" Emma asked.

"No. She's everything a woman should be: strong, independent, smart, a great sense of humour…."

"And she loves you enough to marry you," Emma finished.

"I'm not…"

Emma pressed a finger to his lips. "I know what you think you feel, but someday you are going to realize that you're wrong. Emily is perfect for you and you are perfect for her."

Taking Dave's hands in hers, she held him tight. In an instant, they were back in Dave's study as though nothing had happened.

"Is that it?" Dave asked.

"For me. I have to go now."

"No! Don't go!" he protested. "I won't let you!"

"Your heart belongs to Emily."

"I would have traded places with you."

Emma touched his cheek lovingly. "I know. But you wouldn't have been happy and I would still be gone. My number was up. You're being given a second chance. Don't let it go before it's too late."

Faint whitish blue light filled the room and swirled around her. The brighter it became, the more she faded.

"I love you Dave…." she said. Then she was gone.

Mudgie whined sadly.

"The story of my life," Dave stated to the empty room. He looked at his watch. Nearly ten. He could still get a couple of hours before he had to catch his plane. "Come on Mudge, let's go to bed," he called out and headed toward the stares.

Suddenly, Mudgie barked furiously. Dave stopped cold. It was happening again.

"Who's there?"

"What was that ten letter word again for 'crater creator'?" the deep voice asked.


	10. Chapter 10

_Ray is back! And he's ready to head to head with Dave!_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Dave took a deep breath. Then he turned around slowly.

"Arctangent," he replied automatically.

"You remembered," Ray said with a smirk. "I thought maybe you would have forgotten. Maybe have to call that brainiac of yours."

"You know I didn't forget. Our last conversation weighs on my mind all the time," Dave stated simply. His lips twitched. He could handle Emma…what they had had was simple - tragic but simple. Ray, on the other hand…

"I can't imagine why."

"You know damn well why it does, Ray. It was my fault that you were there that night without adequate security."

"It was my choice. I knew what I was dealing with, and I knew the risks. I was the one who put my back to the door." Ray walked over to the fireplace and looked at the pictures on the mantle. "You would think that after all of the years I had spent in that line of work, I would have known better." His eyes settled on one photo in particular. Picking it up, he turned toward Dave.

"But…some things are meant to be. Like this." He held up the frame. "Remember when this was taken?"

"Christmas Day 1969."

"We were quite the team," Ray gave a short laugh at the memory. "The Four Musketeers."

"Don't remind me."

"Remember the time we toilet papered the principal's home because he put Jimmy in detention?"

"Jimmy was always looking up the girls' skirts; he deserved detention."

Ray cocked his head. "Maybe. But it was still fun."

"My dad let me know otherwise the next day." Dave winced at the memory.

"He always was a stickler for the rules." Ray looked at the photo. "So, why do you keep this around?"

"It fills the empty space on the mantle," Dave remarked wryly.

Ray raised his eyebrow in question. "Are you sure it's not to torture yourself?"

Dave poured a drink but realized the bottle was empty. "Damn it!" he cursed. He searched for another bottle. Popping the cap off, he poured hastily causing some of the liquid to slosh over the side.

"Well…?"

"No. It's not to torture myself."

"Are you sure? Because I think it's to remind yourself that you failed to protect the ones you love."

Dave raised the glass to his lips and cocked his eyebrow. "I never loved you."

"You loved me like a brother."

"Cain and Able come to mind and you know how well that turned out," Dave said.

"Cain killed Able. You didn't kill me."

"Yes, I did!" Dave slammed the glass down hard.

"How do you figure?" Ray challenged. "Did you hire the hit man? Did you bring up the RICO charges against me?"

"I sent you to Emma's funeral!" Dave raged. "I was a coward who wouldn't go and so I sent you instead."

"I would have gone any way. I just wanted to go with you."

"Bullshit. Don't try to lessen this sin, Ray! You know damn well that I sent you into the lion's den."

"Unless you were the one to tell the bastard Emma was married to that I was the one who hit her in the face with the snowball when she was six, I'm sure his hatred stemmed from something else. Besides, I had to settle my peace with Emma. I never told her that I was sorry."

"She forgave you. She forgave everyone."

"So, why can't you follow her lead and forgive yourself?"

"The things I've done…I failed my ex wives…I failed Emma." Dave turned around. "I failed you."

"So, you think that because you failed all of the above, you are going to fail Emily?"

"I already have."

Ray nodded. "I saw the replay of the night at the rehearsal dinner…I can't disagree that you failed her. I am surprised that the team let you walk out of the banquet hall alive."

"None of them wanted me to marry Emily, so they were probably relieved."

"After what you did? I can't say that I blame them. You've been a lot of things, but I never took you for an asshole."

"I stood up your cousin Moira who was visiting from Boston, remember?"

"That was because you were a jerk. But this was totally different."

"So, can we let it go?" Dave asked.

"Just like that? You think it's that easy?"

Dave shrugged in reply.

"What you did affected everyone on your team! You devastated everyone."

"How?" Dave asked. "I'm retiring. I'm going to be out of their lives and they won't have to worry about me any more."

"What about Jack and Henry? Weren't you going to be Santa Claus at the BAU party?"

Dave snorted. "Santa Claus! They don't need to believe in him!"

"Because you don't? What about miracles, Dave? Do you still believe in miracles?"

"Not any more."

"And that's the thanks I get." Ray threw up his hands and walked over to the bar. He poured himself a drink.

"I thought angels couldn't drink," Dave chided.

"I never stated that I was an angel." Ray savoured the scotch as thought it were gold. "This is heavenly."

"You're not an angel?" Dave sputtered.

"You mean with wings and halos and playing harps on clouds?" Ray asked. Dave nodded. "Pfft! Maybe for some one who led a good, decent life, but that wasn't for me. Honestly, could you see this physique in a gown?"

"No."

"Besides, there are different levels of angels." Ray let out his breath and took a sip. "I just happened to occupy the bottom rung."

"And now you're here guarding me."

"Guarding you? That's what you think? I guess maybe you could say that I am. The team wants to kick your ass and I want to earn my wings."

"Gee, thanks."

Ray grinned broadly. "Wings go a long way in heaven. I've been told they are a real chick magnet."

"So, you're telling me that you're wingless and helping me will get them? Like Clarence in 'It's A Wonderful Life'? If a bell rings, will you get your wings and then leave?"

"Yes."

Dave rang the bell on the shelf behind the bar. He waited for something…anything to happen. "You're still here."

"Good try, but that's the _other_ Christmas story, knucklehead. I have to do a good deed in order to get my wings."

"So do it already."

"My good deed ought to be restraining myself from kicking your ass," Ray muttered under his breath. "But, I think I'll do one better." He nodded his head. "I know why you hate Christmas, but what you did the other night caused other people to hate the day too. That was too low even for you."

Dave paused. "What do you mean?"

"Jack and Henry are expecting a Santa to show up. How well do you think that's going to go over? And Derek asked you for one simple favour and you kicked him to the curb. Accusing him of cheating on Pen - who happens to be one of the sweetest women walking the earth."

"So, I went a little overboard."

"And Emily…?"

"Ray, I'm not going to tell you again; please leave before I throw you out!" Dave growled. He turned to leave. Ray grabbed his arm and spun him around.

"I can't leave before I complete my mission."

"What would that be? Driving me crazy?"

Ray considered the statement. "Now that would be a short journey. Actually, I want you to look at something…how your actions affected your friends."

"Let me go…"

"Not yet. Now hold on tight."

Dave closed his eyes. "Aw shit," he muttered as the pair was enveloped in bright lights.


	11. Chapter 11

_Karma sucks._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Dave blinked as the room came into view. "Where are we?" he demanded.

"That would depend on how contrite you are for what you did to Emily and the team," Ray said.

"I did what I had to do to save them! I don't regret my decision," Dave returned hotly.

"Then we are in your version of hell."

"You never could bullshit me, Ray. Now answer my question."

Ray sighed. "Just be quiet and watch. Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll learn to pull your head out of your ass," he muttered.

A door opened and Hotch walked into the room. In his arms he cradled Jack who was sobbing.

"We're home, Jacks. How about we unwrap a couple of gifts before you go to bed?" Hotch said gently.

"No!" Jack shook his head violently. "I don't want to open no gifts!"

Hotch set the boy down on the couch before turning toward the tree. Kneeling down, he pulled a box out. "Hey! Look, this has your name on it!" He thrust the box toward the teary eyed boy. "Open it."

Reluctantly, Jack took the box. Eyeing the tag, he suddenly threw the box across the apartment. Hotch jumped to his feet.

"Jackson! Why did you do that?" he demanded angrily.

"I don't want it!" Jack crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.

Hotch fought to control his temper. It had been a long day for everyone. And the party the FBI had thrown hadn't helped things. In fact, it only made things worse.

"May I ask why you don't want a gift you didn't open?"

"Because it said 'From: Santa'; there is no Santa!" Jack sobbed.

Hotch's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Yes there is."

"No there isn't!" Jack contradicted. "If there was, he would have been at the party tonight. But he didn't show. That means he isn't real."

"He was busy with…" Hotch tried to think quickly, "other things. He has a lot of obligations and it's possible that….he forgot about the party." He knelt down in front of his son. Brushing the blonde hair back from Jack's warm forehead, he tried to soften the night's disappointment.

"But he went to other kids' parties."

"I don't know. He could have." _Or he's busy getting drunk off his ass as he destroys his liquor cabinet, _he thought silently to himself.

"I hate him!"

"Jack…" Hotch said gently. "Jack we don't hate anyone. And we don't hate Santa."

"Santa's not real!

"Where did you hear that?"

"They told us in school! He's a fig of my imagination."

"You mean a 'figment'," Hotch corrected. "Jacks, he's real. At least a lot of boys and girls believe he's real."

"I'm not little no more and I don't believe in Santa!" he shouted.

"Jack…"

"No! I hate Santa and I hate Christmas!" Jack ran from the room. In the distance a door slammed. Hotch sighed. He shook his head. A part of him wanted to follow his son, but he wasn't a seasoned profiler for nothing and right now trying to convince Jack differently after what had happened would only harden his heart.

Turning off the lights on the tree, he walked over to the tiny wet bar and poured a drink. "Damn you, Dave," he muttered before downing the shot. Slamming the glass down, he put the bottle in the cabinet. Then he turned out the lights and went to his bedroom.

"Satisfied?" Ray asked as he took in the scene.

"Should I be?"

Ray turned to his friend. "You did this."

"Are you kidding?"

"You didn't show up to the FBI party as Santa. They tried to improvise and placate the children, but that didn't go over real well….as you can see."

"But Jack is young and he'll get over it."

"Are you so sure?"

Dave's eyes widened. "Are you saying that Jack Hotchner grows up to be a serial killer because Santa didn't show up to a party?"

"Would you blame him?" Ray asked. "No," he amended quickly, "he doesn't grow up to be a serial killer, but that's for another ghost to work out for you. But it seems that Hotch hates you as much as Jack does," Ray observed.

"I was expecting that."

Ray snorted. "You really have turned into a son of a bitch. Come on."

"Now where are we going?"

"I could take you to every kid that was affected by you not showing up, but I only have so much time tonight, so I'm moving on to the next team member."

Dave rolled his eyes. "Oh joy," he replied sardonically.

"Roll your eyes again, and I'm going to forget that I want my wings."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I kicked your ass on more that one occasion," Ray stated.

"Not the first time we met."

"You got lucky."

"That wasn't luck!"

"As much as would like to show you otherwise, we have other things to do." He looked upward. "Okay, we're ready."

"What do you mean 'we'? Hey!"

Immediately the pair was shifted to another room.

"Where are…?" Dave asked.

"Shut up and listen! Maybe this time you'll learn something because obviously kids are not your weakness." Together they watched the couple in the tiny apartment.

"So, he just told you that he wasn't going to trade places with you?" Penelope Garcia asked from her small kitchenette. Walking into the room, she hit the switch with her elbow and cast the room into darkness save for the lights from the small tree on the corner table by the large window.

Derek took the mug from her hand. He wrapped his fingers around the ceramic and let the heat seep into his cold digits.

"What can I say? Dave Rossi is a cold hearted bastard." He sipped the spiked cocoa. "This is good Mama."

"Thank you. Did you go to Hotch?"

"I did but I didn't want him to make an exception just for me. And there was no one else on stand by."

"But it's your mother, Derek!"

"I talked to Desiree and she said that the doctors told her that it's just a routine operation."

"Derek! It's not routine! Every surgery is serious. And she needs you!"

"There were no flights out." Derek set his mug down on the coffee table. "If anything happens, Desiree will call me."

Pen drained her mug. "Had me my laptop," she demanded.

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to wipe out Agent Hard Ass's bank accounts. I've saved everything over the years just waiting for him to do something like this. Oh, won't it be a wonderful Christmas morning when all the ex Mrs. Rossi's get a million dollars apiece in their stocking?" Pen's eyes glittered with revenge.

"Mama, don't do something you're going to regret. He's not worth it." Derek's cell rang. Yanking it from the coffee table, he flipped it open. "Derek Morgan," he greeted. His face froze as he listened to the caller.

"Who is it?" Pen whispered loudly. Derek held up his finger to shush her.

"Desiree, calm down. What happened?" He listened to her reply. "What?"

"What is going on?" Dave asked suspiciously as he took in the scene. Ray kept silent as the scene unfolded before them.

"I don't understand you, Des. What do you mean 'she didn't make it'?" Derek shouted into the receiver. "I…" The line went silent for a long moment. Another voice came on. "Sarah? What happened? Talk to me…What? When? How? But…I…I have to call Hotch. I don't know….I'll call you later." The line went dead.

In an instant, Pen was beside her best friend. "Derek, what's wrong?"

"She's gone," he whispered hoarsely.

Pen swallowed hard. "Who's gone?" she asked stupidly.

"Momma. She…she died on the operating table."

"How? It was routine gall bladder surgery."

"Doctors said her heart gave out. I wasn't there for her." The tears raced down his cheeks. "I wasn't there," he repeated.

Pen drew him into her arms. "Oh Derek," she comforted. There was nothing she could say to make him feel better, so she just held him tight.

"I asked Rossi to take my place…I had a bad feeling. But he wouldn't trade. He accused me of wanting to go up to Chicago to see another woman," Derek wept. "Now Momma is gone and I never got to tell her that I love her."

"Derek…"

"I hate David Rossi. I hope he burns in hell," Derek raged before breaking down completely in Pen's arms.

Ray looked at the man by his side.

"You accused Derek of cheating on Penelope, so you denied him a chance to switch places."

"I'll admit that wasn't my shining moment."

"No shit, Sherlock! Where did you find the first clue?" Ray growled. "All he wanted to do was go to Chicago and be with his mother for the holidays, but you had to let your pride in the way of your common sense and decency!"

"I made a mistake."

"Bullshit! That man weeping in his best friend's arms is not a mistake! You had to get even with everyone because of your shortcomings. And look how it all turned out."

"I can make it right," Dave argued.

"How?" Ray sneered. "Do you have a magic wand that can restore Fran Morgan back to her children? Do you have some words of wisdom from your own experience that might help Derek cope with is loss?"

"I…" Dave struggled to find some response, but the words failed him.

"Are you that brilliant of a writer? Can you make things right?"

Dave looked down at the ground as the light in the background went black.

"Is it over?" he asked.

"No. This is just the tip of the iceberg," Ray said evenly.

"I was afraid you were going to say that."


	12. Chapter 12

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"What are the odds of me saying 'I'm sorry' and getting out of this in one piece…with my sanity?" Dave asked as the new room came into view.

"Nothing worth while comes easy."

"I'm beginning to realize that. But what about Derek's mother? I mean: is she really…?"

Ray looked at Dave with a stare that had knocked the knees of weaker men.

"Do you care?"

"You know I do!" Dave retorted.

"There is a part of me that wants to believe that, but Derek went to you and asked for a favour…"

"Don't remind me!"

"How are you going to face him?"

"I'm retiring."

Ray thinned his lips. "Ah, the easy way out. Go on vacation on your suspension, put in for your second retirement, and then avoid the team at all costs."

"It almost could work."

"Just because you retire doesn't mean that the team isn't going to try and settle the score."

"Maybe they will forget that I exist."

"Be careful what you wish for."

"I'm not quite sure what to wish for any more," Dave muttered.

"Now you're starting to use your brains for more than just occupying that dark empty spot between your ears!"

"So, Jack hates me, I killed Derek's mother…is there anything else you want to show me?"

"I do. Emily."

"She hates me."

"You know this for sure?" Ray asked.

"I wouldn't blame her."

"Well, being a profiler doesn't make you a mind reader."

"You think I need to see her?" Dave asked bewildered. "What will that prove? That I'm a son of a bitch? How about we just end this here and let me go home?"

Ray spun around and grabbed Dave by the shirt collar. "Now you listen to me! I'm doing this as a favour for you. You went out of you way when we were younger to protect my ass. Even when you had gone on into the Marines instead of taking that job with the underworld, you watched out for me. Yeah, you going and turning Fed on me scared the shit out of me. But I trusted you. And though you didn't break any laws on my behalf, you still watched out for me. I'm doing the same now."

Both men stared unblinking at the other.

"I love you, Dave," Ray continued. "I know you would have given your life for me that night, but it wasn't your time! My past came back to haunt. And if it hadn't been there, it's for sure that I would have bought it in Sing Sing. But you…look at you! Rich, good-looking, successful, and adored by your team!"

"Bullshit," Dave replied but there was doubt in his tone.

"Bullshit my ass! Do you want to know why they want to kill you? Do you know why they are cursing you? Because they LOVE you! It should be illegal how much they love you! Now you want to turn around and walk away from that!"

"What choice do I have?"

"PLENTY! You have the love of a woman any man would cut their right arm off for! How many times have you done things that made her want to walk away? How many times did you two butt heads and she gave in? She wants to marry you even after all the shit you put her through. If that isn't love, then I don't know what the hell it is!"

"She doesn't love me."

"I'm not sure what planet you're from but…" He turned Dave around toward the scene unfolding. "Just look and listen."

Lighting the candle, the figure quickly crossed themselves, then knelt to pray. No sound came from the lips that moved.

"Emily?" a voice asked.

Startled, Em looked up. "Hi, Father Jimmy."

"It's just Jimmy. What brings you here tonight?"

"I…" Em blinked quickly and tried to force a smile. "I needed to get away. Find somewhere I can think."

"Your mother called me with the news. I'm sorry to hear about what happened," Jimmy comforted.

Em brushed a tear from her eye with a shaky finger. "Yeah. You know how that goes."

"Do you want to sit and talk about it?"

Em shook her head slowly. "I…there are more important things for you to be doing…"

"Nonsense. You are a friend who needs someone to talk to. My job is to listen. Since no one else is here tonight, it looks like we have the whole sanctuary to ourselves." Jimmy led Em to the bench. He waited for her to sit before taking his place beside her.

For a long time neither person spoke.

"What brought you here?" Jimmy inquired gently.

"I don't know. I thought maybe…somehow that if I got out of the apartment, maybe I could find some answers," Em said. "But I'm not finding them."

"What answers are you looking for?"

Em blinked quickly. "Why? Why did Dave have to hurt me in front of everyone? I thought he loved me…then he…I don't understand what happened to make him…"

"He loves you," Jimmy answered matter of fact.

Em shook her head. The tears she had been holding at bay finally broke free. "No he doesn't. He loves her!"

"He told you that?"

"He doesn't have to. Why else would he have broken up with me before we got married?"

"Did you ask him?"

"He didn't give me a straight answer. Just said that he was sorry and that he never meant to hurt me. But I know that it was because of her. I told him that he would never be happy because he threw his life and love away for a woman who only existed in his memory."

"Emma," Ray replied softly.

"You know about her?"

"We grew up together in Commack. Emma and Davy were thick as thieves until he went into the Marines. Then something changed. We all thought they were going to get married and settle down, but…" Jimmy trailed off. "Neither one told us what happened to change their minds and then Davy's father died. And then his mother. Emma went off to college and got married. Davy found his niche in the FBI and never came back to Commack."

"He may have left Commack, but his heart stayed," Em said bitterly.

"You never forget your first love."

"But she's dead, Jimmy! She shouldn't have this hold over him!"

"Sometimes the mind knows what the heart is reluctant to admit."

"Are you saying that Dave knows that loving a dead woman is wrong?" Em sputtered. Jimmy nodded. "I don't understand. I've wracked my brains trying to figure him out, but… He's an enigma."

"At least you are further into his personality than his three ex wives. When he pulled back, they left him."

"Like he did me."

"But you haven't given up on him."

"Yes, I have!" Em replied hotly. Jimmy raised his eyebrow in surprise at her outburst. Her cheeks flushed hot as she remembered that she was in a church. "Sorry."

"I'm sure God has heard worse in His house." Jimmy pushed the glasses higher on his nose. "As for my statement: yes, you haven't given up. Why do you think you're here - tonight - when you could be out with your friends or crying yourself to sleep? Or maybe plotting his demise?"

"I'm here because I have no where else to go. Hotch is taking care of Jack - who was torn up that Santa didn't show up to the party - for which Dave was supposed to be Jolly St. Nick. JJ is with Henry. Pen is spending time with Morgan who is probably cursing Dave for not trading places with him. And Reid is out in Vegas with his mother."

"What about your mother?"

"She's been hovering ever since Dave did what he did. I had to break free or lose my mind. I guess that's how I found my way here."

"Maybe this is your answer."

"Coming to church in the middle of the night?"

Jimmy shrugged. "Sometimes the answers you need are where you least expect them. Your answer is that you still love Davy. And he loves you."

"You're wrong."

"I am a man of God and of the cloth, so I don't really know what is in another man's heart, but I know what I see and he does love you."

"He would rather be with Emma."

"Is he worth fighting for?"

"I don't know."

"Well, the answer is pretty simple. Maybe it's not apparent at the moment because your heart is clouded with emotion…"

"Clouded with emotion? He stood me up!"

"The answer is there, Emily. You have to seek it. You have to tell Dave that you aren't going to leave until he comes straight with you and lets you in."

Em lowered her eyes. "That won't be happening."

"Oh?" Jimmy asked carefully.

"I put in for a transfer back to the FBI/CIA anti-terrorist joint task force as a translator and liaison. I'm leaving after the first of the year for London."

"London? For how long?"

Em raised her eyes. The light that had once lit up her brown orbs was extinguished. Even her voice was flat.

"I'm never coming back."


	13. Chapter 13

_And a child shall open the eyes of the blind and they shall see…._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"_I'm never coming back."_

Ray let the words sink in before turning toward Dave. "Are you going to stop her?"

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

"Does it matter?" Dave returned. He tried to tear his eyes away from the scene but all he could think was how unfair it was that Jimmy was able to offer the comfort he couldn't…or rather was too afraid to.

"You're going to just let her go without a fight?" Ray shook his head and made a mental note to get his ears checked at the next annual angel check up.

"She's better off without me," Dave said but there was sadness in his voice. When he took a breath, it shuddered.

"I can't argue with you on that one. But have you ever asked yourself if _you're_ better off without _her_?"

Dave shifted his eyes but there was no denying the loss he was feeling.

"Is there anyone on your team who doesn't hate you?" Ray chided with a snort.

"I would be more surprised if there wasn't."

"Well, there is still one last person to visit."

"Oh God! Not the Ambassador!" Visions he couldn't put into words danced in his head.

"That would be hell for you. No, I have one a little less threatening but a lot more lethal."

"Who…?"

A bedroom with Noah's Ark décor swirled around the pair then stopped. It looked familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on who it might belong to.

"I thought you were the ghost of Christmas present," Dave wondered aloud.

"I am."

"Then why are you tormenting me with Emily's child's nursery?" Fear gripped his heart with the possibility that she could have moved on to happiness and had a child. Two things he had always prayed and wished for but had never materialized.

"It would serve you right if it was, wouldn't it?" Ray said sarcastically. But even he could sense a tiny change in the man he had once considered his closest friend.

"I would have to forget you're an angel."

"Calm down Mr. G-Man. This doesn't belong to Emily. It does, however, belong to someone who holds a place in your heart, too."

"Whose bedroom is this?" Dave asked slowly.

"The one person on earth - aside from Jimmy and your ghosts - who still believes in you." Ray waited for acknowledgment. "Henry."

"He doesn't have 'faith'; he's a baby."

"You know what they say: Out of the mouth of babes."

"Their testimony isn't admissible in court."

"I can't believe it. Everyone is running from you or loading their weapons, but the one possible redemption you may have, you scoff."

"Maybe I don't believe in the reason for the season any more."

"Then it won't kill you to hear what Henry has to say."

"His mother is a sharpshooter; he may not make his statement with words."

"You're saying the three year old has a gun?" Ray smirked.

Dave swallowed as he remembered JJ hitting the UNSUB dead centre in the forehead during the BAU bullpen stand off. "I'd be more surprised if he didn't."

"Shh," Ray ordered harshly. "Here they come."

JJ walked into the room cradling her pajama clad son in her arms.

"I'm not tired, Mommy," Henry stated matter of fact. Suddenly, he yawned widely and rubbed his eyes.

"You've had a long day, and even though you think you're not tired, your little body needs rest," JJ replied in the soothing way only a mother could to get her point across.

"What if I can't sleep?" Henry yawned again.

"You close your eyes and let the Sandman do his job," JJ replied and tapped his pert nose. Laying the boy down, she arranged the covers around him. Leaning down, she kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, my sweet prince." She moved to turn out the little lamp on the nightstand.

"Mommy? Can I ask you something?"

JJ stopped. "What is it?"

"It's really portant," Henry stated solemnly.

"Oh! That makes all the difference." JJ sat down on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?"

Henry considered his thoughts, then blurted: "Is Uncle Dave Santa?"

JJ kept her face expressionless. "Why do you ask that?"

"Because he wasn't at the party and neither was Santa. So I thought maybe Uncle Dave was Santa."

"Henry…um…Uncle Dave…"

"I know, Mommy. I heard."

"I…" JJ searched for the right words.

"Mommy, why do people hate Uncle Dave?" His blue eyes searched hers for an answer.

JJ licked her lips. "Where did you hear that?"

"Mommy, what is a bastard?" Henry announced out of the blue.

"Henry! Don't say bastard!" JJ admonished. "That's not nice!"

Henry looked perplexed. "You said bastard."

"That's different; it's a mommy word. And someday, when you grow up and become a mommy, you can say it."

"But I can't be a mommy 'cause I'm a boy!"

"Exactly, Munchkin Man."

"But what is a bas - ?"

"It's not a nice word," JJ repeated firmly and pressed her index finger to Henry's lips.

"Is that what Uncle Dave is?" His eyes filled with tears.

"No, honey. That was just people saying things they shouldn't have." _And in front of children,_ JJ added silently. She gently patted Henry's hand. "How did it make you feel to hear that?"

"It made me mad and sad."

"How so?"

"Mad because it's not good to say bad things about people. And sad because people are supposed to be nice. That's what you tell me."

"Sometimes, Henry, people say things because they don't think first."

"But why were they so mean to Uncle Dave? I like him."

"You know when you get mad and say things you don't mean?" JJ asked. Henry nodded. "That's what Uncle Dave did and some people are angry at him."

"Why?"

"Uncle Dave has a broken heart."

"Is that why Uncle Dave didn't go to the party? Did someone hurt his heart?"

JJ paused but couldn't find the words to explain everything to a three year old. Besides it would not achieve anything to burden a child with the recent events that shook the BAU team to its core.

"I think…that it's more than past the time for little boys to go to sleep."

"Can I say my prayers?" Henry asked eagerly.

"Yes you may." JJ shifted to let the little boy off the bed.

Kneeling beside the mattress, Henry solemnly folded his hands under his chin and bowed his head.

"Dear God, bless my goldfish and kitty and tell Mommy to buy me Cap'n Crunch…"

"Henry?"

Henry paused, then continued. "God bless Mommy and Daddy, and Uncle Hotch and Jack. Bless Auntie Pen and Uncle Derek, and Uncle Spencer. And Aunt Emie."

"Henry…" JJ prompted.

"And God bless Santa and Christmas and all the reindeer." Henry raised his head. "Done!"

"That's my good boy." JJ hugged her son and kissed him. "Now time for bed."

Henry crawled under the covers and curled his hands under the pillow. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, Henry." JJ kissed him again and turned out the light. "Sweet dreams." She tiptoed out of the room and gently closed the door.

Dave stared at the tiny figure in the twin bed decorated with Disney's Cars. A sinking feeling filled his gut where just seconds earlier hope had sprung to life.

"So much for my redemption," he mocked.

"For once in your life make an effort to listen before you think," Ray ordered.

The covers rustled slightly as Henry rolled over and looked at the ceiling.

"Please God," he whispered, "heal Uncle Dave's heart and let him know I love him. Amen." He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

The pair watching from the corner of the room watched in complete silence.

"I'll be damned," Dave whispered.

"Change your mind about Christmas yet?" Ray asked.


	14. Chapter 14

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

In an instant, Henry's bedroom faded into oblivion. The next instant Dave and Ray found themselves back in the study of Dave's mansion. As the room stopped spinning, neither spoke while they sized the other up.

"What?" Dave asked more sharply than he had intended.

"You never answered my question: have we changed your mind about Christmas?" Ray countered back just as sharp. "It's pretty easy. Yes or no."

"You really think that after reliving the worst Christmases on record that the prayer of one child could make everything better? What are they smoking in heaven?" Dave shot back.

"Love is the answer…sometimes."

"Love," Dave scoffed "that's for people who don't know any better. It's for people who like to tempt fate. Or leave themselves open for more hurt than the law allows."

"And you should know because you left yourself open four times previous?"

"Once bitten, twice - er, four times shy," Dave corrected. "How many times do I have to explain it?"

"Until I can understand where the hell you're coming from. All I hear is that you don't want to be hurt, but you don't seem to understand that you're more broken than even you can realize…well, except Henry saw it."

"I'm not broken," Dave argued.

Ray snorted heavily. "Shattered is more like it. You are so jaded and wounded from the things that have happened that you can't see the forest for the trees. You would rather let Emily walk out of you life thinking that she somehow failed you than to swallow that stupid pride of yours."

"Don't lecture me! I can't remember one relationship you had that worked out. You had a string of girlfriends a mile long that you somehow managed to hide from each other. That doesn't make you an expert in love; only someone who is just like me!" Dave snarled as pain invaded his heart so sharply that he could barely breathe.

"Why do you think I can call you so well? I see you for what you are: a lost, lonely, broken man who wants so badly to love and be loved but is afraid." Ray shook his head. "If everything works out and I get my wings, I'm going to be able to spend eternity in heaven. And that's great. But even with wings and forgiveness, I still regret that I didn't have that special someone to love while I was on earth."

"Love's not all that it's cracked up to be."

Ray threw up his hands in defeat. "Do you hear yourself? Do you really listen to the words coming out of your mouth? Because if you do and you truly believe that crap you're spewing, then maybe yeah, you need to have Emily walk out of your life. But hear me out on this one: it can be too late to go back and ask for a second chance."

Ray walked over to the mantle and pulled down the picture he had held earlier.

"Life must go on, Dave. Emma made her mistakes but they don't have to be your sins. I made mistakes that you don't have to take on as your sins. She and I have to pay for what we did. But if we hurt you, please let it go."

Dave bit his tongue. As much as he wanted to deny everything Ray had said, there was a part of him that wanted to believe that he wasn't responsible for anything that had happened to his friends. He really wanted to believe that it was just the way the world worked and everything was due to fate.

But he knew better. He had seen the deviant side of life too many times to believe otherwise. He had written about heinous serial killers who controlled their fate and destiny. Nothing in life was coincidence. There was a reason for everything.

And Emily had no reason to want to spend the rest of her life with him.

"You can go now," Dave stated in a low voice that held no emotion.

The clock ticked on the background as Ray watched Dave. Slowly, he shook his head in defeat.

"I didn't get through to you, did I? Everything Emma and I did really had no bearing on you changing your mind, did it?" Ray wondered in disbelief.

"It was a good try, but maybe as my great Aunt Concetta said it is my destiny to never know happiness," Dave replied. "I've had more than my fair share of reaching for the brass ring. It's time for someone else to have a turn."

"If you aren't the most egotistical, anal retentive asshole! Maybe, you're right. Why anyone - Emily included - would want to waste their love on someone not worthy of it, is beyond me!" Ray shouted.

Semi-amused, Dave asked, "You're giving up on me that easily?"

"Yes! Nothing Emma or I have done tonight has gotten thru that thick skull of yours!"

"I don't know why you bothered wasting your time when there were more worthy souls for saving."

"I can't argue with you there!" Ray replied. "But for the record, I wasn't ordered to do this; I volunteered!"

"Why would you do that?"

He might be an angel - or a level or two below one - but he was still capable of showing emotion. And although Dave was pushing him toward the edge of no return, there was still that part of him that would forever love and try to protect the man who was as close to a brother as he had ever gotten. Yes, they had had their fights and arguments, but there was nothing he would ever change…except if he could go back and change it so that Dave wasn't so jaded by life.

Instead, all he could do was show Dave what life was like right now - the life he was creating. He was sure that angels didn't cry - but that didn't mean his heart couldn't hurt.

"Because we love you," Ray choked out.

"You were wasting your time."

"Are you sure you want to go down this road?" Ray asked. "Because if you do, there is no turning back. Everything you've seen will haunt you for the rest of your days."

Dave remained silent. There was nothing he wanted to say in his defense.

Finally, in defeat, Ray conceded. "Okay. I keep forgetting that free will is part of being human. You've made your choice, Dave. I understand - I don't agree with it - but I understand." Throwing his friend a wry smile, Ray stepped back. "I'll see you on the other side, someday….God willing."

Then, just like that, Ray faded into oblivion.

Whining softly, Mudgie came over to where his master stood and nudged his black head under Dave's hand.

Dave looked at the clock on the wall: one a.m. Five hours before he had to get up. Maybe with any luck, he could forget the whole night had happened.

Climbing the stairs, Dave headed to his bedroom and closed the door.  
>****<p>

"We failed," Emma stated tearfully as she watched the man she once loved close his bedroom door with such finality that her heart broke.

"We didn't fail." Jason contradicted, "Dave made his decision. This was his choice."

"I should have shown him better Christmases…not the ones that dredged up old memories and opened scars," Emma shot back.

"His scars were always open," Jason replied evenly. "All we did was show him that he hadn't come to grips with his past quite like he thought he had."

"But what happens now? What we showed him…what if it backfires and it makes things worse?" Emma argued passionately. "He and Emily belong together and what we did could have ruined that forever!"

"That is the risk we agreed to take when we volunteered for this job," Jason said with a shake of his head.

"I agree with Jason," Ray replied. "Dave can be a stubborn son of a…" thunder in the distance interrupted his thoughts, "Missouri mule," he finished with a grimace.

"I should have shown him that Christmas where he saved that little boy who had been abducted. Or the Christmas were he volunteered at the Marines Toys for Tots project and was given the homemade Christmas card and cookies by the little girl who thought he was Santa," Emma sighed.

"There was so much we could have shown him," Ray agreed. "But we only had one night. When he gets on that plane tomorrow, everything I showed him tonight will come true."

"It doesn't have to! Maybe he can sleep on it and realize that he's screwed up," Emma said.

"And what do you think is going to happen?" Jason scoffed sarcastically. "That he's going to run to Emily Prentiss and fall to his knees begging for forgiveness? She'll shoot him on the spot - and no court in the land will blame her."

Emma threw up her hands. She walked over to the ultra white couch and sat down. "So, it's over. We failed."

Too afraid to speak the word aloud, Jason and Ray nodded in agreement. There was nothing else they could do. Unless God Himself sent down a lightning bolt to hit Dave Rossi in the ass, they were out of ideas.

"It was a good try," Jason admitted.

"No one can say that we didn't try," Ray agreed.

"But you didn't get your wings," Emma observed softly. Her soft blue eyes filled with tears.

Ray shrugged. "Wings schmings. I can handle being the low man on the totem pole for a thousand years."

"Giving up that easy?" a voice asked from behind the trio. "Or have you forgotten that there is a third ghost who gets their chance at saving the soul of Dave Rossi?"

"It won't be easy," Ray warned. "He's dead set against being happy."

"Yes, I figured that from what I saw."

"You think you can save him?" Emma asked hopefully.

The figured nodded confidently. "I am, after all, the Ghost of Christmas Future."

The trio smiled with renewed hope.


	15. Chapter 15

_So, you think you know who the third ghost is? Well, there was a clue in the Jason chapter, but I kept it lighter than normal because I wanted to completely catch people off guard. If I made one person go "Oh! I did NOT see that coming" then I've succeeded with this chapter! Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you thought. _

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Dave Rossi turned on his side and tried to get comfortable. Opening his eyes, he glanced at the clock on the nightstand and groaned. Only an hour since he had given up trying to figure out what the hell had transpired in his living room earlier that night. Only an hour since he had been visited by his long gone friends.

"They weren't really there," he corrected himself harshly. "They were a figment of your imagination." He plumped the pillow under his head and sighed. "Too much scotch on an empty stomach can cause weird things to transpire in the brain and make you believe that things that aren't there really are."

Mudgie lifted his head up from the pillow bed that laid next to the grand king size bed of his master and whined pathetically.

Dave slapped a hand over his eyes. "Crap! I'm starting to sound like Spencer! That's it! I'm not drinking scotch after nine pm anymore!" He turned over to his other side and pulled the covers up tighter to ward off the sudden chill in the room. Closing his eyes, he wished for sleep. And it was almost there - he could feel himself starting that long descent…until his hand reached out for the familiar warmth of his lover and came up empty.

Emily. His love. His life. His regret.

She should have been lying next to him in the bed they had chosen together. She should have been in his arms instead of weeping in Jimmy's. She should be hearing how he was a fool and couldn't live without her. But she was gone. And she was leaving him forever because he was a fool - the biggest fool on planet earth for letting her walk out of his life.

"I didn't have a choice," he grumbled and tried to get comfortable. As long as he didn't think about the empty space beside him…or sniff the full pillow that still contained her delicate scent, then he could sleep. Or fake it until he had to wake up in five hours.

"We all have choices," a delicate dulcet tone replied.

Dave's eyes snapped open. He wasn't alone! For a moment he thought it might be Emily. Maybe she missed him. Maybe she had had a change of heart and couldn't leave for England. Maybe she…

His thoughts were interrupted by Mudgie whining in a way he had never heard. It was like he was seeing a long lost friend but didn't know how to approach them. Loudly, his tail thumped on the hardwood floor.

"Are you going to say 'hello', Agent Rossi?" the voice asked again.

Dave swallowed hard. He knew that voice! And it wasn't Em's! Closing his eyes, he sniffed the air. He also knew that perfume. It had haunted his thoughts for weeks - along with her voice and her big brown eyes full of excitement and life - the same eyes that had been closed in death. Forever closed because of him and his arrogance.

"Hello, Zoe," Dave forced out thru clenched teeth.

"You don't seem happy to see me again," she observed.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't be happy to see Santa at this moment," Dave replied.

"Oh?" Zoe smiled softly. "So, it's not just me that you are dismissing?"

"I'm not…dismissing you," Dave corrected quickly as he realized that he had done just that. "I have a plane to catch in the morning and with the way my evening has been interrupted, I will be lucky to catch a short nap."

"Been one of those nights? Haunted by ghosts?" Zoe asked. She looked over at the black Lab who was wagging his tail excitedly. "Come here!" she ordered and knelt down to invite the dog into her arms.

Eagerly, Mudgie ran to Zoe. He licked her face and whined.

"That's…" Dave began.

"Mudgie," Zoe finished. "I know. I've been keeping an eye on you."

Dave sat up. "What do you mean you've been keeping an eye on me?"

Zoe hugged Mudgie close. "Just that."

"Why?" Dave pushed the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the mattress.

"Because I like you."

"You mean 'liked'."

"No," she shook her head. "I mean that I like you. I always have."

"And that is why you are visiting me?"

"I'm your guardian angel…or one of them." She patted Mudgie on the head and stood up. "I didn't bail on you when you had your breakdown."

Dave rolled his eyes. "Comforting. And for the record, it wasn't a 'breakdown'."

"What would you call it?" she asked.

"A clarification that I'm not someone on the inside as I appear on the outside."

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you mean a fussy, anal-retentive, neat-freak?" she chided.

"I see that you've done your homework. That's what Em calls me."

"That's what _everyone_ calls you," she corrected. "Though tonight, Ray was calling you a few other choice names."

"I thought cussing was forbidden in heaven for angels."

"Ray's not an angel…yet. He would have been," she finished with a sad sigh. "But you prevented that."

"Oh great," Dave said sarcastically. "Another black mark beside my name." Standing up, he reaching for his plaid robe. "That shouldn't surprise me. I'm keeping my track record of batting a thousand strong."

Zoe shrugged. "Ray isn't upset about not getting his wings; he's more concerned about you. He loves you. All of your angels love you."

Dave paused as he tied his robe. "And you? Where do you fall into the scheme of things?"

"I love you." Simple. To the point. Just like her.

"You shouldn't."

"Why?" she challenged.

"Why? Are you serious?" Dave asked incredulously.

"Oh." The realization of his question dawned on her. "You mean the whole 'you think you killed me thing'. You caught the guy who did it," she reminded him softly. "And you redeemed me and yourself."

"I did nothing of the kind. Except for me, you wouldn't have gone there that night and put yourself in danger."

"I would have gone with or without your prompt. But you believed in me."

Dave shook his head. "I didn't believe in you; I brushed you off. I couldn't have given two shits about you that night. I would have said anything to make you go away and stop bothering me."

"That's what you believe?" Zoe challenged.

"That's what I _know_," Dave returned and finished tying his robe. He searched for his glasses on the side of the night stand. "Where did my glasses go?" He began pulling the drawers out angrily.

"They're beside the lamp," Zoe pointed out. She watched as he donned the glasses. "You didn't kill me."

"Maybe not physically."

"You had nothing to do with it."

"Your mother would argue differently."

"If that had happened to your child, you would argue differently too," she replied. "But my mother is understanding…slowly. And the trust fund you put together in my memory helps dull the pain. Along with the Christmas card you send her every year."

Dave turned slowly to face her. "You know about that?"

"I told you that I know everything about you."

"So, how did you get this crappy assignment? Were you last in the class? Did you draw the short straw?"

Zoe shook her head. "No. I volunteered from day one to watch out for you."

"Kind of like a favour for a favour."

"Not exactly. You don't realize it yet, but my death - albeit horrible and senseless - did keep many more safe. Had I not died, how long would it have been before the FBI was called in? The cops didn't think there was anything hinky going on and by the time they put the pieces together, dozens of people could have died."

"You're saying that you being murdered by a psychotic, deranged asshole was meant to be?" Dave sputtered.

"No. I'm saying that me running into you that night and you brushing me off was meant to be."

Dave snorted. "Excuse me if I find that hard to believe."

"It's true. But you beating yourself up over it - along with everything else - is not helping things with Emily and your friends."

"What do you know about Emily and my friends?" Dave asked.

"I know that you love Emily more than any other woman who has ever passed thru your life - save for your mother. And that you would still lay your life down in an instant for your friends if there was even the slightest doubt that their lives might be in danger," Zoe pointed out matter of fact.

"Are you so sure of that?" Dave wanted to reach out and touch the woman who had broken his heart and taught him that he wasn't as sure of himself as he had presumed.

"Well…from what I've witnessed over the past few days, I'm sure of it…though I can't say the same for them." Zoe thinned her lips at the statement.

"So, you've seen what Emma and Ray showed me?" he asked. Zoe nodded. "And you can see that I haven't changed my mind about taking Em back."

Zoe shrugged again. "That is your choice."

"So, what are you going to show me? My future?"

Zoe watched him with a soft expression.

"I thought the future wasn't set?" Dave continued.

"You're right," she agreed.

"Then what are you going to show me?"

Zoe walked up to the man she had admired so much that she would have given anything to have been half the profiler he was. Smiling softly, she took his hand and held tight. The room filled with a bright white light.

"Consequences," she answered.

"I was afraid of that," Dave muttered.

Then they disappeared.

* * *

><p><em>AN 2: Just a gentle reminder to new readers/viewers of CM, Zoe appeared in Season 4's ep "Zoe's Reprise". Possibly one of the saddest eps ever._


	16. Chapter 16

_Dave's seen what led him to the choices he's made. Now he's about to see the consequences of his actions._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"I'm not even going to ask where we are," Dave said as the room came into focus. The office sized desks and file cabinets slowly surrounded the pair. "I see you've taken me back where it all began." He took in the familiar bullpen that he had called 'home' twice in his life time. All the good and bad memories came back as he glanced up at the offices on the second floor. Hotch on the left and his on the right. And three doors down was Derek's.

Dave turned toward Zoe. "So…this is supposed to mean what?" he asked.

"Beginnings and endings tend to have the same meaning whenever something comes full circle," Zoe replied cryptically.

"Care to elaborate?" Dave prompted.

"When you decided to walk away to begin your new life outside of the FBI, you ended a lot more than a second retirement. You know that saying 'Nothing stays the same'?" Dave nodded. "Well, you might have founded the modern day BAU, but you're nothing but a distant memory."

"What do you mean?" Dave looked at agents that passed by. None had a familiar face. "Where's Anderson?"

Zoe thought for a moment. "Teaching Hostage Negotiation Techniques at the Academy."

"Are you kidding me! Anderson? He couldn't find his way out of a wet paper bag!" Dave barked.

"Obviously he found his calling because his class is one of the best."

"Wait! _I_ teach that class!"

"You _used_ to teach that class. They had to find a replacement after you left. A few instructors came and went, then Anderson took over. There is a waiting list to get in." Zoe smiled gently.

Dave let out his breath. "Well, I'll be damned." He looked around the bullpen. "Any chance we can pop into Hotch's office?"

"We could, but he isn't there."

"You can't be serious. Aaron Hotchner is practically married to the BAU. He lives and breathes this place," Dave stated angrily. "We had bets that the only way he would leave was on a stretcher."

Zoe shrugged. "Maybe the old Aaron Hotchner did, but after you left, he decided he didn't want to turn into you."

Her words wounded him, but Dave kept his face blank. "Where did he go?"

"Back up to New Hampshire to be with his mother in her last years. He opened his own law firm. He has a small practice so that he could spend time with Jack. And on the side, he consults with the Justice Department. It's a good thing too because…Jack…"

Dave looked at her. His blood ran cold. _Oh dear God, no! Not Jack Hotchner!_

"What about Jack?" He held his breath but his heart beat so hard that it echoed in his ears.

"Jack is…it's hard to explain. I'm going to show you." Taking Dave's hand, Zoe closed her eyes. Within seconds, they moved out of the bullpen to a small living room. The pair stood in silence.

"Tell me that Jack is still alive," Dave whispered.

"He is," Zoe affirmed.

"Thank God!" Dave felt hot tears fill his eyes. "Then what is the problem…?" Loud pounding on the stairs interrupted Dave.

"That." Zoe pointed to the figure in black hurrying down the staircase.

Dave blinked as he took in the tall teen dressed in a black t-shirt, black camouflage pants and silver chains around his neck that had a tattoo of an upside down black rose.

"That's Jack Hotchner?" Dave asked. "What the hell happened?" Memories of the sweet little blonde haired boy with the wide innocent smile flashed before his eyes.

Zoe nodded. "Things have changed since you left the FBI."

"No shit!" Dave bit his tongue. "I mean: you're kidding, right? He was a great kid! He was into soccer and softball. He was an adorable imp who wanted to be on the case with his dad! It was set in stone that he would follow in Aaron's footsteps and join the FBI."

"Hmmm hmmm."

"I don't understand. What happened?" Dave repeated. He estimated that Jack was sixteen or seventeen. Had that many years passed already? He wanted to ask about Henry, but all he could do was stare at the boy who had been his godson.

"He stopped believing in Christmas," Zoe replied softly with tears in her voice. "Because of you."

"You're kidding me! That…" Dave pointed at Jack who was donning a black leather jacket, "is because of me?"

Zoe sighed. "He stopped believing in Christmas the night of the FBI party when Santa didn't show up. He figured everything was a lie. And he never stopped grieving for his mother. Though it didn't help that he blamed Hotch, too."

"But… Hotch is a great father!" Dave argued. "He would give his life for his son! He nearly did!"

"Well…" Zoe started but was interrupted.

"Jack!" Hotch's voice boomed from the other side of the house. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Out!" Jack replied sullenly.

"Jack?" Hotch repeated.

"I'm going out!" the teen shouted.

"No you're not! We have to go to your grandmother's in an hour to open presents."

"Screw that!" Jack pulled on his heavy gloves.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Hotch came into the room. "What are you wearing?"

"Clothes. Duh!" Jack rolled his eyes. "Get a clue old man." He zipped up his jacket.

Hotch gazed closer at his son. His eyes narrowed. "What have you done with your hair?" he barked.

"I dyed it." Jack rolled his eyes.

"You're not leaving this house."

"Stop me," Jack scoffed.

"I promised your grandmother we would be there."

Jack scoffed. "Guess you're showing up alone." He grabbed the knob to the front door and turned it.

"Your teacher called." Jack paused and closed the door. "She told me about the essay you turned in: 'Why Santa Claus Can Go To Hell'."

"It covers the good and bad of the season," Jack reasoned. "I think I made a good argument."

"Clever. You're still rewriting it."

Jack bit off an expletive. "No I'm not. I have to go." He pulled the wool cap down over his purple hair.

"Don't you leave this house, Jackson!"

Jack paused and turned around. "Or what? You'll arrest me? Or make me sit on Santa's knee and tell him what I want for Christmas? I did that once and he failed me. Besides, he can't bring me what I want, so forget him!" Jack slammed the door hard behind him. Hotch sighed.

"Damn you, Dave Rossi," Hotch muttered, then turned around and left the room.

Dave spun around to look at Zoe. "Are you saying that this is _my_ fault?" he asked incredulously.

"You broke his heart."

"How do you figure?"

"That Christmas where you were supposed to show up as Santa; you let your pride get in the way and let everyone down."

Dave shook his head. "I…no, you are not going to lay this at my feet. I didn't do this."

Zoe gave a short laugh. "Ironic, isn't it? You take the blame for my death and Emma's and Ray's. But you screw up and a little boy's heart is broken and that isn't your fault."

"You know what I mean?" Dave snapped.

"Do you know what you mean?" Zoe watched Dave as his eyes followed Hotch out of the room. "You know, Agent Rossi, the answer to all of what is happening is in your heart. When you come to understand that one life can make a difference, then you might believe that you are worthy of love and happiness."

Dave's face hardened. "I want to go home."

"Train's pulled out of the station and isn't due back for a while. So you may as well strap yourself in for the ride. What you did to Emily affected everyone."

"And you're just going to rub my nose in it?" Dave wondered sardonically.

"Only if you feel like you deserve it. But," Zoe continued, "I'm not here to judge you."

"Just helping me reflect on my sins," Dave groused.

Zoe sighed. "I'm helping you see the error of your ways."

"Which is going to make me cast off guilt, embrace what I have lost, and with luck, Em will run back into my arms," Dave returned.

"I was hoping that it would be the other way around."

"Good luck on that one, sweetheart," Dave grumbled.

"The night's still young; let's go." Zoe took Dave's hand and held on tight. "Besides, I have faith in you."

"Glad someone does." He closed his eyes. "Glad someone does," he muttered but there was a bit of wistfulness in his tone.


	17. Chapter 17

_This chapter is for Francesca and Michaela for their help in locating that conversation between Rossi and Morgan in "Lucky". You guys are the BEST!_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"Jack Hotchner is a juvenile because of me?" Dave shook his head in disbelief. This wasn't happening and he refused to even consider the possibility that he might have contributed to the boy's wayward lifestyle.

"One life touches so many…or haven't you learned that?" Zoe asked gently.

"Is he a bad kid, or is he a _bad_ kid?" Dave wondered nervously.

"Luckily there isn't much trouble he can get into up in the northern part of New Hampshire, but when he turns eighteen, there won't be much Hotch can do to stop him from really going down that road."

Dave closed his eyes. This was all a bad dream. When he counted to five, it would be over and he would be back in his home and in his bed. At least that was the best he could hope for - and at this point it couldn't hurt.

"1...2...3...4..." Dave said out loud.

Zoe looked at him in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"Shh… 5." Dave opened his eyes. "Crap! I'm still here!"

"Where did you think you were going to be?"

Dave shrugged. "I don't know; maybe on some tropical island sipping cold pina coladas and listening to ukulele music on the beach under the warm sun."

"Surprise!" Zoe gave him a wide smile as if hitting it home that it wasn't a dream.

"I figured that out," Dave groused. "This isn't going to end anytime soon, is it?" Zoe shook her head. "So, I have to grin and bear it."

"Or maybe learn from it."

"I thought the future wasn't set. You keep telling me this, but…" Dave looked around at the room unfolding before him. It was unfamiliar, but he felt that he should know it. "Who does this belong to?"

Before Zoe could reply, the front door opened. A figure dressed in dirty coveralls and boots stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Tossing his keys on the table inside, he kicked off his work boots and made his way to the kitchen. Grabbing a beer can from the fridge, he popped the top and took a long sip.

Dave blinked as recognition dawned on him. "Derek?" He turned toward Zoe. "Is that Derek?"

"Yes."

Dave held his hands up. "Wait! He's with the FBI."

"Not anymore. He quit about five years ago."

"Why? He was up for Hotch's position once he took over for Erin. He was practically a shoo in for BAU Chief."

Zoe shook her head. "He didn't think he had anything left to prove after his mother passed away."

"He quit because of her death?" Dave asked in disbelief as he watched Derek walk to the living room and turn on the TV. Glimpsing around the quaint but sparsely furnished room, he took in the bare walls. It didn't escape him that there were no decorations hung or tree put up. The sound of the football game came on and filled the quiet space.

"That was the icing on the cake."

"What about Penelope? She's always been his rock thru hard times," Dave asked. This wasn't happening. He pinched himself a couple of times but it was official: alternate hell was his reality. "Where is she?" He looked around for any sign of a woman's touch in the flat.

"They had a fight not long after you left. He said something to her and she hung up on him. Neither one has been able to swallow their pride and say 'I'm sorry'."

Dave shrugged. "So, he calls her and says it. It's not like he hasn't crossed the line a few times before. She's always taken him back."

"This time might be a little more difficult….she's married."

Dave's eyes widened in surprise and shock. "To whom?" he asked carefully.

"Kevin Lynch," Zoe replied simply.

"KEVIN LYNCH?" he shouted. "Are you kidding me? She loves Derek; Derek loves her! She wouldn't…I mean, she considered Kevin for a moment - until he asked her to buy the farm with him…not exactly the most romantic of proposals - if you ask me. But her heart belongs to Derek!"

"When Derek refused to return her calls, she turned to the one person who had always been there for her. And since you were gone…well, she found someone who would listen."

Dave snorted. "This isn't happening." He looked at his friend…former friend sitting all alone on the couch nursing a beer.

"Maybe you should have swallowed your pride and listened to what he had to tell you the other day instead of jumping to conclusions."

"I was angry," Dave argued. "I wasn't thinking when I accused him of cheating on Penelope."

"Just like when you told Hotch that he was trying to get into Emily's pants? That was clever….and so beneath you." Zoe rolled her eyes.

"I got clocked for it, sweetheart," he reminded her. "Along with a suspension."

"You just don't know when to shut up."

"He was dating my fiancée!"

"_Ex_-fiancée," Zoe corrected. "She can go out with anyone she chooses."

"Except my best friend."

"_Ex_-best friend."

"So, Derek is working construction because he quit the FBI and Penelope married Kevin Lynch?" Dave changed the topic back to the man who was blankly staring at the TV screen. "Is he seeing anyone?"

"No."

"He had the reputation of being a 'player' at the FBI."

"That was a cover," Zoe replied. "He was a lonely man who was looking for that special someone."

"Bullshit! He had a black book that rivaled mine on my best day!"

Zoe shook her head. "Perception can be anything you want it to be if you try hard enough. His sisters and mother and the BAU were the only family that he ever had. When his mother died, you quit, and Pen left, he had nothing to hold on to." She let her words sink in. "You were his hero."

"I'm no one's 'hero'," Dave groused. "I'm just a man with faults and sins. I don't have control over people's lives. They make their own choices…" His words trailed off as he watched Derek set the can down and reach over to pick up the picture frame on the lamp table. He watched as Derek traced a finger over the glass. His lip twitched as the realization of what the other man was doing dawned. That lost look and slumped shoulders was exactly the same reaction he had had with Em's picture.

"What I'd give to go back and change things if I could," Derek whispered to the picture. "I hate Rossi for what he did - 'personal growth' my ass but I don't care anymore…I'm sorry. I wish I could say the words to you and take it all back…" His voice trembled. "Merry Christmas - wherever you are." Derek set the frame down on the table, got up from the couch, and left the room.

Glancing over at the table, the illuminating smile of Pen caught Dave's eyes. His heart squeezed painfully.

"Is Penelope happy?" he asked.

"We can check."

"I was afraid…" Dave was cut off as the room changed to a farm house kitchen. "…of that," he finished. "Let me guess: Penelope and Kevin's place?" He looked around the nicely furnished room with the vaulted ceiling and breakfast nook. It was clean and sharp. Nothing he would have imagined with Penelope Garcia who he knew couldn't cook to save her life.

The sound of screaming and shouting came from the other room. Dave winced at the high pitch.

"I want to go back to Quantico!" Pen's voice shouted.

"I thought you were happy here?" Kevin returned.

"I miss my family."

"You miss _him_."

"Why do you always think it's about Derek? He doesn't even live in Virginia anymore."

"I _knew_ you were keeping tabs on him!" Kevin accused.

"You were checking my computer searches? How dare you?" Pen choked out.

"I also found the picture in your wallet; I should have known that you didn't love me. And to think I trusted you."

"I don't love anyone who feels that they have to spy on me!" Pen retorted. "Besides it's not about him; I'm not happy here."

"It's always about_ him_. And I thought you wanted to come out here."

"When you said you wanted to buy the farm, I thought you meant we could get a piece of land out in the country - at least that's what you led me to believe. I didn't know that you meant we were going to literally buy the farm! I'm dying from boredom here!" Pen rushed from the front room to the bedroom. Grabbing her suitcase, she started packing.

"You want to leave me?" Kevin asked in surprise as he stepped into the room. He watched her move from the dresser to the closet.

Pen threw her clothes in the container. "It's for the best; I can't stay here."

"I love you….if that means anything to you."

"No you don't." She pulled the zipper closed. Quickly she filled another suitcase and two carry ons.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kevin threw back.

"If you did, you wouldn't spy on me. I can handle everything but that." Pen hooked the straps of the carry ons over her shoulders and strapped the suitcases together. Awkwardly, she pulled them out to the main room.

"Oh, and you searching for Derek Morgan wasn't a betrayal of my trust? Who is being the hypocrite here? I should have known when you accepted my proposal that you were on the rebound." Kevin followed Pen out of the room. "Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!"

"I'm through talking, Kevin. I miss my family. I miss the BAU. I want to go back home," Pen sobbed. "I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."

"After nearly ten years of marriage you're _sorry_? You promised to love and cherish me! I'll bet you made that vow to _him _at the altar! Were you picturing him while I made love to you?" Kevin spat venomously.

Pen's eyes filled with tears. Twice she tried to reply but the words didn't come.

"Go back to Quantico," Kevin ordered. "Go back to that lonely existence you called your life. He doesn't want you because if he did, you would be with him in Chicago instead of here."

Pen swallowed and took a deep breath. "Good bye, Kevin." She opened the door and started out to the porch.

"Hey babe!" Kevin called out. "At least now Derek Morgan and I have something in common." Pen paused as she waited for the other shoe to drop. "We both don't want you now."

Holding her head high, Pen squared her shoulders and marched down the steps to Esther. She said a quick thank you to the gods for convincing her to keep the old car when Kevin had begged her to sell the gas guzzler. Throwing the luggage in the backseat, she hurried inside from the cold and started the engine.

Waiting a few minutes, she put the engine in drive and headed down the snow covered road. A mile down the road, she finally let the tears fall.

"I miss you, Derek," she whispered. "And I hate you Agent David Rossi." Esther continued down the lonely, dark road until it disappeared into the night.

Dave looked contrite. "She called me by my full name. She's only done that when she's pissed off at me."

"Do you blame her?"

"That's not the woman I know; Kitten could never hold a grudge."

"Things change when a wrench is thrown in the way you did to the team," Zoe said softly but it wasn't lost on her that Dave has used his pet name for the tech analyst. Maybe there was hope for the anal retentive bastard after all.

"So, you've shown me the worst of the consequences of my actions. When do I get to see how all of this affected Em?" Dave wondered as his heart squeezed painfully.

"First we have to check in on Reid."

Dave inwardly groaned. "This should be fun."

Zoe just smiled and took his hand in hers and gave it a loving squeeze.


	18. Chapter 18

_For Fanatical and for Alex._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

The sound of the TV filled the sterile white room.

"The hospital?" Dave observed. "Don't tell me that Spencer's mother is dying on Christmas Eve. Isn't that a little trite?"

"No…" Zoe stretched the small word. She was supposed to be the ghost of Christmas Future, not the bearer of bad news.

As the room became clearer, Dave looked around at the sparse furnishings. He had seen bachelor pads that had more furniture in it the current room contained. Slowly his eyes made their way around until they settled on the figure prone upon the bed gazing blankly at the screen.

"Spencer?" he asked. Fear started to slowly fill his body. "What happened?"

"He had a major relapse."

Dave refused to believe what he was hearing. "But he was clean! He got clean!"

"Drug addiction and coming clean is hard enough to deal with - but to have the stress of the world on your shoulders…" Zoe chose her words carefully as she tried to explain. "Spencer has always been what we call a 'fragile soul'. He doesn't trust easily, but when he does, he tends to let the sun and moon rise and set on that person."

Together they watched the young man as "Doctor Who" played in the background.

"Jason Gideon was the closest Spencer had had to a father - and when he left in the middle of the night with just a note behind, it almost killed Spencer. It took everything he had to believe in you. Your return to the BAU was what saved him. You were his hero come to life. And in you, he found a friend and a mentor. You got him past that 'father figure' stage and develop a maturity that helped keep him sane."

Dave sighed. "Will you please stop with the 'hero' label? I'm not a hero. Not to you, or Morgan, and especially not to Spencer. My feet are clay. My heart is…cold."

"I don't believe that! You do care," Zoe returned passionately.

"I don't."

"If you didn't, you wouldn't care about what's happened with your family."

"Family?" Dave scoffed. "The BAU isn't family…."

"Not anymore. But wasn't it you who stated that the BAU was the longest relationship you ever had? Even longer than any of your marriages?" she threw back. Dave nodded slightly. "Deep down inside, you needed the team as much - if not more - than they needed you. Though by the look of Spencer…"

"How bad is it?" Dave asked.

"Between Gideon, Emily's 'death', and then you…he just fell by the way side. They broke the team up and tried to move him to the academy. But he couldn't fit in. So, he moved back to Las Vegas to be with his mother. But once her dementia finally kicked in, he was pretty lost. He tried teaching at the college, but he wasn't appreciated. In the end, he turned to the one thing that had never let him down."

"What about Hotch? Or JJ?"

"They had their own families to attend to; it wasn't that Spencer didn't mean anything to them, but they had to worry about their own children. But you wouldn't know about that." Zoe didn't try to disguise the barb. And she could tell by his wince that it had hit home.

"That was low - even for a ghost," Dave said.

"And so was the way you treated the team."

"Is he going to recover?" Dave wondered as he took in the slight figure shivering under the covers.

Zoe shook her head. "I don't know. That's up to him, but it doesn't seem like he has much to live for."

"He's young!" Dave argued passionately. "He can get married and have children and a family! It's not too late!" Zoe stood quietly as Dave continued. "There is hope for him; I won't let him turn into me!"

"And what would that be?" she asked.

"A broken down old fool."

"Ah. Now the truth comes out."

"The truth has always been there; you just refused to see it."

"I refused to see it because that's not who you are. Maybe you _were_ like that, but I think you're seeing the error of your ways."

"So, you've succeeded. You may go now." He dismissed her with the wave of his hand.

"And it's back to square one," Zoe grumbled with a low growl in her throat. "It's not that easy."

"Is it easier to rub my nose in my past?" Dave returned sarcastically.

Zoe sighed. "It can be if you can't see that you were loved and adored and cared for - and if you had just come clean with them and Emily - maybe you wouldn't be here right now. But you won't get rid of that chip on your shoulder."

Dave spun on her. "What do you want from me, Zoe? Blood? Tears? Do you want me to fall on my knees and beg forgiveness?"

"Just say you're sorry. Let go of the past and let Emily in your heart. Love her," Zoe stated. "But most importantly, love yourself for who you are."

Dave shook his head sadly. "I can't."

"Then the journey continues."

"God help me," Dave whispered.

"It's just two simple words." Dave said nothing. "Next team member."

"Wait! What happens to Spencer?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"You let me see him at his worst, then you tell me that you're not at liberty to say what happens to him? What does that mean?" Dave barked.

"I don't make the rules. My job is to show your future and let you come to your own conclusions."

Dave bit of a sardonic laugh. "This is not happening…. OUCH! You pinched me!" He rubbed the spot on his forearm. "What the hell was that for?"

"I wanted to show you that it is happening. Now come on," she ordered. "I have to get this done before sunrise."

"Isn't there one person on earth who still likes me?" Dave asked.

"Hmmm….maybe."

"Comforting."

The hospital room morphed into a living room that was beautifully furnished in a simple style. In the corner was a large evergreen decorated with bulbs and lights. A homemade chain made of multi-colored paper hung on the branches along with a popcorn strand. In the fireplace a fire roared and soft music played a Christmas carol by Amy Grant.

"Whose home is this?" Dave asked slowly.

A key in the door and then a figure appeared. Emily! Dave's heart beat fast as he tried to get a better look at the person behind the bags.

"Anyone home?" the voice called out.

"Mommy! I mean, Mom, you're home!" A blonde boy about twelve came running from the other end of the house to the foyer.

"Hi, Henry." _Henry? The figure was JJ?_ Dave thought as his heart fell.

"When are we going to see Emily?" Dave whispered.

"Shh." Zoe hushed him.

"Help me get this bag," JJ suggested and handed a brown paper sack to her son. "Did you have a good day?"

"I shoveled Sister Cody's driveway and helped Grandma make cookies for the Stake Center Christmas party tonight," Henry replied as he shifted the bag's weight.

JJ ruffled Henry's blonde hair. "That's my good boy." She handed the other bag over. Henry moved toward the kitchen. "I got the mail on my way in," she called out.

Henry's footsteps sounded in the hall. "You did? Did I get anything?"

"Were you expecting something?" JJ asked with a smile.

Henry's blue eyes scanned the envelopes. "I was hoping…" His shoulders slumped slightly. "It's not there."

"What isn't there?"

"A reply."

"From whom?" JJ held her breath.

"Uncle Dave."

"Oh Henry…"

Henry set the mail on the table. "I guess I should tell you that I've been sending Uncle Dave a Christmas card every year since…I don't know when. And I keep hoping that he might write me back."

"Has he?" JJ asked though she already knew the answer.

Henry shook his head. "No."

"I'm sorry. Is that why you asked me for his address a few years ago?"

"Yeah. Nobody likes him anymore and I wanted to make him feel good," Henry replied quickly. "I think he might be out on tour or maybe he's moved. That could be why he isn't getting my cards."

"Henry…" JJ's look softened. "I know you meant well, but sometimes people just want to be left alone. Uncle Dave is one of those people. He lives by himself for a reason."

"Because no one likes him! I know his heart is broken but us moving to Pennsylvania probably didn't help. He's lonely, Mom and he probably doesn't have any friends to wish him a Merry Christmas. Does he?"

"Does he what?"

"Have a family?" Henry asked.

JJ shook her head. "No."

"See? That's why I write him a card every year."

"But he hasn't answered you."

Henry nodded solemnly. Then he smiled. "At least he knows someone still cares." He thought for a long moment. "Can we go visit him? Please?"

"Henry…I don't think that would be wise. He might not want us to bother him."

"Please?" Henry's blue eyes begged hopefully.

JJ sighed heavily. "Maybe. But I don't know where to begin."

"Call Auntie Pen and ask her. Then we can go!"

"We have to celebrate Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa first," JJ gently reminded. "Then we have to go to New Orleans and visit your dad." She crossed her fingers and hoped that Henry would forget about his Uncle Dave.

"Thanks Mom! I love you!" Henry hugged his mother tightly.

"I love you, too." JJ returned his strong hug.

"Maybe I can take him some of those cookies I made," Henry suggested.

JJ pulled back. "First, let me taste them. And then I want to hear about your day. And then I'll tell you all about mine at the school board meeting." Henry groaned dramatically. JJ ruffled his hair in return.

"Am I dead?" Dave cautiously approached the subject.

"Is that a trick question?" Zoe replied.

"No. It's a simple yes or no. Am I dead?"

"That would depend on the definition of 'dead'."

"So, I am."

"If you want to call it that. Shutting yourself away from the world and living by yourself in that house -"

"Mansion," Dave corrected.

"Mansion. Sorry." She continued. "Shutting yourself away has not helped you."

"Are you calling me a hermit? I've dined with Presidents and movie stars. I'm not a hermit."

Zoe lowered her head to look at the floor. "I guess I'm just going to have to show you."

"I can't wait to prove you wrong," Dave stated smugly.

"Buckle up," Zoe instructed. "It's going to be a bumpy ride."


	19. Chapter 19

_This had to be the hardest chapter I've ever written for Dave. _

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

The room slowly came into view as it spun around the pair. Dave started to ask where they were when he noticed the faded chair in the corner of the room beside the table with the lamp. An overturned book and an empty glass sat beside it. It looked just the same as he had left it but there was something missing…something that he couldn't put his finger on. Why wasn't the light on? Or a fire roaring to fill the room with its delicious heat?

Dave listened carefully for anything to indicate that there was life in the room. No music, or sounds from the TV - not even the pitter patter of a dog's nails on the hard wood floor. Only the sound of silence greeted him. Something was wrong.

"I guess you don't have to ask where we are," Zoe remarked softly. She took in the relieved then confused looks that crossed over Dave's face.

"This is my house," Dave replied.

"Yes it is."

"But…" He walked around the dark room knowingly. He touched the familiar items that he had come to know over the years. Nothing was out of place. Nothing had been changed. But what was missing? What was that one thing he couldn't put his finger on?

Walking to the fireplace, he looked carefully at the pictures that lined the mantle. Ones of the team and his mother and father stood on the left end. Framed photos of Ray, Emma, and various other people were on the right. His hand carefully ran across the frames one by one…until it came to the empty space.

"There's one missing," he said.

"Which one?"

Dave stared at the empty spot that was covered with a thick layer of dust. "I don't know. I didn't put these here." He scanned the pictures again.

"You didn't put the pictures on the mantle?" Zoe asked. She kept an eye on the man who she had volunteered to watch over and help along. And though she had promised herself that she wouldn't get involved, her heart still went out to him.

"I hang them on the wall in the foyer and hall. I like to keep them in order of importance…." His voice trailed off. "Mudgie."

Zoe looked at him blankly. "What?"

"My dog. Where is my dog?" He looked around room. Hurrying to the next room, he searched for Mudgie. "Mudgie! Come here, boy!" he called out. Around the corners and thru the bottom half of the large house, he went; his voice calling out.

"Dave, I don't think…" Zoe started, but he waved her silent.

Dave continued on his quest. Taking the stairs two at a time, he made his way to the second floor landing. The black Lab had been with him through thick n thin; he would never leave.

"Mudgie." He whistled sharply. "Come on boy." A sound from one of the rooms caused him to pause. Turning on his heel, he headed toward it. Automatically, his hand went to his side for his side arm, but came up empty. How could he have forgotten he was wearing his robe?

Standing outside of the room, his hand touched the knob.

"Dave, don't go in there," Zoe warned as she suddenly materialized beside him.

"Someone is in there; I have to find out…"

Zoe shook her head. "I don't think you should."

Dave turned to look at her in surprise. "Why? What don't you want me to see?"

"If you go in there, it could…you could change everything."

"Isn't that what you ghosts have been trying to have happen since this whole thing began?" Dave retorted in a sardonic tone. "What's behind the door?"

"Your future," she replied simply.

"What kind of future?"

"That's up to you. I can tell you that once you cross that threshold, there is no turning back."

"I'll keep that in mind. Let me see."

In an instant the pair was standing in the large master bedroom. Dave looked around. Nothing had been changed. What should have thrilled him sent a jolt of fear through out his body. He didn't mind change - God knew he had done his share of switching things around - but overall, he liked to keep things the way they were. It was completely unlike him to keep something so out of date.

And there was that something wrong he still couldn't put his finger on. Where were all of his friends? His housekeeper? He should at least have had one visitor. But the emptiness was such that his footsteps echoed off the walls as he had run down the hall. There was a chill in the air that no fire could ward off. And sadness…he could taste the sadness.

His eyes tried to adjust to the darkness - save for the moonlight streaming thru the window - it took a moment for him to make out the figure in the corner. So still, so quiet, he wondered if the person was alive. He felt himself start to call out when a sniffle caught his ear.

"_My beloved. How I miss you," _the deep voice whispered. It was raw and raspy - as though it hadn't been used very much. From the condition of the house, he could tell why, the man had no visitors. He felt Zoe come up behind him.

"Who is that?" Dave asked cautiously. His heart started beating faster than normal - as though dreading Zoe's answer.

"I think you know." She sighed.

"What have I become?"

"You wanted people to leave you alone. You pushed everyone away until they gave you what you wanted." Zoe moved in closer. "No friends, no family…nothing but a picture of the woman you've always loved." She looked at her charge. "You do know who that is, don't you?"

Dave held his breath.

"It's the one you've always loved; the one you let get away because of pride," Zoe continued. "She's always had your heart - from that first word - she was the one for you."

"Emma," Dave replied simply.

"Are you so sure?"

"_My Tesoro. I miss you so much."_

Tesoro? Dave sprung forward to look over the man's shoulder. _Emily!_ He was holding a picture of Emily - his favourite one of her standing near the cabin as the sun was going down behind her - and tracing the outline of her face with his finger. That familiar tracing of the face he knew so well. A tear dropped to splash on the glass.

"_Tesoro."_

"Emily?" Dave rasped. His heart constricted as the sentiment hit home. Hard. He had centered his whole world around Emma and how he had lost her because of his stupidity. He had kicked himself for letting her go without a fight. How could it be that he was crying over Emily Prentiss? It was impossible!

"She's your heart, Dave. She always has been. She's the one you've always loved."

Dave's eyes flew up to meet hers. "_Loved_? What do you mean '_loved_'?" Zoe didn't answer but her silence let him know that what she was hiding was not what he wanted to hear.

"Where is Emily?" he asked.

"I can't tell you that."

"What do you mean? You've shown me how my actions have affected the team. I've destroyed the belief of a small boy and ruined a man who loved his mother. I've driven one woman to a man she didn't love, and I drove a wedge between a father and his son, while a man who admired me lies in a bed practically dead to the world." Dave took a step toward Zoe. "I want to see Emily."

"I don't think you want to."

"Afraid that I might discover that she's happily married to a wonderful guy who can give her everything - including his heart? Afraid that I might not be able to handle that she has a couple of kids that I didn't give her?" Dave asked sarcastically.

Zoe closed her eyes as if waiting for the answer. Then she opened her eyes. The bright light that had been there earlier was gone - replaced by sorrow. For Dave.

"Hold my hand," she commanded.

Dave was apprehensive. "Why?"

"Because I said so. I'm taking you to Emily." Grasping Dave's hand so tight it tingled, Zoe braced herself for what was to come next.

It would make or break Dave Rossi. Hopefully it would be the first instead of the latter.


	20. Chapter 20

_Dave is finally going to see Em, but nothing can prepare him for what he finds._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"Where are we?" Dave asked thru chattering teeth as the cold air hit his skin.

"You wanted to see Emily," Zoe reminded. "I've taken you to her."

Dave looked around at the snow covered area. The wind blew hard enough to just slightly bend some of the trees in the distance.

"Unless you've taken me to her front yard, I'm not sure we're going to see her."

Zoe shook her head. Snapping her fingers, the wind suddenly stopped and the clouds parted to show a silver moon. Faded at first, it built to shine brightly down on the area and the two occupants. Turning around slowly, Dave took in the familiar objects. As the realization began to dawn, his heart stopped.

"Are we in a cemetery?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Are you telling me that Emily Prentiss is in a cemetery?" Zoe didn't respond. "Isn't that a little trite?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you had done your homework, you would know that I've been down this road before - with the team. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…"

"I know that Emily faked her death. And I know the circumstances behind it. I also know how much that hurt you and the team," Zoe empathized.

Dave gave a hard snort."So, what is this trying to prove?"

"That sometimes when you are given a second chance, you need to grab it with both hands and not let go."

"Wait!" he scoffed. "Are you telling me that Em coming back from the dead was her second chance?"

"No." Zoe shook her head. Her smile was soft. "You prayed that day. Do you remember what you asked for?"

Dave thought hard to the morning of when JJ had come in to tell the team that Em never made it off the table. He remembered the gasps and the sharp pain in his heart as JJ's words sunk in. He knew he had prayed something, but he couldn't remember what.

_Think! I was sitting in the hospital waiting room and JJ came in. She told us about Em. Pen said "No!" I prayed; what did I say? What did I say?_

Dave closed his eyes. "Let me have a second chance to tell her how I feel," he repeated slowly. "I won't mess it up"

"You asked for a second chance. Don't you find it ironic that it was granted and here you are?" Zoe gestured to the headstones around them.

"I don't believe you. See, I've been here before. Only that time I helped bury her. This wasn't funny the first time." He looked around. "Who is setting me up? Hotch? Em? The Ambassador?" His tone was full of sarcasm.

"No one. This is..." Zoe began but Dave cut her off.

"I know; it's my destiny," he finished.

"Always so sure you have the answer." She rolled her eyes. "Is that why you're standing in a cemetery in the middle of night in December with a ghost looking for your lost love? Would you call it coincidence? Oh wait, you don't believe in coincidence. Then it must be someone's fault."

"You're saying this is my fault?" he asked incredulously.

"Is it Emily's? From what I gather, the path you put her on led her to where she is now."

Dave looked around again. "I don't see her tombstone."

"She doesn't have one."

"What do you mean: she doesn't have one?" Dave asked slowly.

"They don't give tombstones when the person is cremated. The reason Emily was 'buried' the first time was because Hotch and JJ assumed that Ian Doyle didn't know about her wanting to be cremated. And it was easier to do the paperwork. Cremation would have been too much red tape."

"How did you know?" Dave couldn't breathe. "About her wanting to be cremated?"

"Em told me."

"Where…" Dave tried to calm himself down. "Where is she?" Zoe flicked her gaze down toward the ground near her charges feet.

Dropping to his knees, he brushed the snow from the plaque that was fitted into the ground. Then his heart stopped as he read the words:

_**Emily Marie Prentiss  
><strong>__**Beloved Daughter, Sister, and Friend.  
><strong>__**Oct 12, 1971 - Dec 24, 2015**_

Christmas Eve? Em had died on Christmas Eve? He couldn't process it. He didn't want to process it. It wasn't real…_this_ wasn't real! Everything was a figment of his imagination - Zoe, Ray, Emma - they were just his guilty conscience rearing its ugly head. And too much drink.

His hand touched the cold brass name plate that felt all too real. His finger traced the imprint of Em's name. He didn't want to believe, but his heart was telling him it was true. The wind continued to blow as the seconds dragged on and Dave tried to find the courage to ask the questions he needed to know.

"How?" he choked out thru the tears that clogged his throat. "Where?"

"It was in Jordan on Christmas Eve. Emily was working for the American Embassy as a translator and public relations officer when the citizens rose up against the Jordanian government. Everyone was caught in the middle of a civil war, but non-citizens were allowed to leave. Emily was helping to arrange the tourists' transportation during the evacuation when the embassy was stormed."

Zoe paused. The wind picked just a bit - a trace of snow was mixed in to add to the discomfort. Dave waited for the other shoe to drop.

"The group that Emily was put in charge of was taken hostage. Everything seemed to be okay during negotiations. Special Forces were about to launch a covert operation to get inside the Embassy."

"But…" Dave prompted.

"But one of the tear gas canisters didn't go off properly and there was confusion. Emily was trying to calm everyone down, when a child started crying. One of the insurgents demanded silence. The child cried harder, and when the man pointed his gun at her, Emily jumped in between them. She got the child calm and the gun lowered when there was a flash of gun fire. It was over in a second."

Dave felt the tears run down his cheeks to drop on the name plate. He tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come. What could he say?

"They didn't try to save her?"

"It was a mortal wound to the chest," Zoe replied simply. "They did everything they could…"

"And the child?"

"Emily stayed with her until they were rescued…."

"No!" Dave pushed himself to his feet. "That isn't possible! This everything…it isn't happening!"

"It isn't?" Zoe returned. "Then how do you explain this?" She tilted her head knowingly.

"I'm drunk. And you…this…all of this is just a hallucination from too much Scotch."

"Is it? Then why are you crying?" Zoe's eyes were so full of sympathy.

Dave studied her facial expression. Yes, he was profiling her, but she was holding something back. He could tell by the way her eyes darted around and the clenching of her fists."There is something you're not telling me."

"Emily said something before she died," she admitted.

Dave felt his heart drop into his stomach. "What?" he whispered. He didn't want to know, but he knew.

"She said 'Dave'."

He knew that the air had been sucked out of his lungs - it had to have been because he could no longer breathe. He tried to say something but his brain couldn't find the words. And the ones he found, he couldn't form to save his life.

Em had died protecting a child that wasn't hers and then her last word had been his name. It was too much to handle. Dropping to his knees, Dave buried his face in his hands and wept. Heart wrenching sobs tore thru the dark, quiet night as everything hit home. Finally.

"I want to go back," Dave sobbed.

"You can't go back. This is your destiny."

"No! I want to go back. I want a second chance to do it right. I need to save the team," he demanded. "I need to save Em."

"I don't know, Dave. It's not that easy."

"I love her. I want to make it right! I need to. You owe me that much." Dave touched Em's name. "Tesoro, I'm so sorry." His body shook with sobs.

The spell was broken, and her job was complete. Now it was time to go home. Zoe smiled. "Good-bye, Dave. I'm going to miss you."

Then she snapped her fingers.


	21. Chapter 21

_Dave is back and now has to rectify his mistakes before it's too late. First up: Derek Morgan._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"Em!" The cry filled the silent room as Dave sat straight up in bed and looked around. Putting his hand on his heart, he tried to calm himself down! He had to save Em! Where was Em? He pushed the covers off his legs. Then he realized that he was in his bedroom. He was back in his bed in his home.

It was all a bad dream, he chanted to himself. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm down, but the memory was still too fresh. He had seen Em's grave and he had talked with Emma and Ray and Zoe. There had to be an explanation for it, right?

Looking around at the still darkened room, he saw that stars on the black horizon. What day was it? He reached for the clock and peered at it: 0530 on December 23rd! He hadn't missed anything. There was still time to change everything and to save Em.

Jumping out of the California King Sized bed, Dave hurried to throw on his clothes. Looking at his reflection in the full sized mirror, he grimaced that he looked like hell. But there would be time to rectify that - after he resolved a few issues.

Mudgie greeted him enthusiastically as he descended the stairs to the living room.

"Hey, boy." Dave lovingly rubbed the black Lab's head. "It's good to see you." Mudgie barked happily and danced around. "I know. I owe you a lot, but there are some things I have to do first. Let me get everything cleared up and fixed, and I'll get you a steak for Christmas. Is it a deal?"

Mudgie's happy barks filled the empty room. His "pet" was back and he was happy - although he would never turn his nose up to a steak.

Dave gathered his keys and wallet on the table in the foyer. "Be a good dog." He closed the door behind him.  
>******<p>

Derek Morgan was beyond pissed! In the middle of a great dream that involved him, a sun kissed beach and a bunch of women clad in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball. It would be his luck that the moment one of the beach bunnies lost her top while spiking the ball, it would be interrupted by a pounding on the door.

Pushing himself out of the bed, he blindly reached for his robe. Donning it, he tied the belt and tried to run out of the room and in the process, he stubbed his toe. Biting off an expletive, he hobbled to the front door.

"When I open this, I better see one of two people on the other side: Santa or my Baby Girl," he called out while turning the deadbolt. Throwing the door open, he stopped cold. "Wrong on both accounts."

"Hello, Derek."

Derek fought the urge to swing. Instead, he balled his fists and counted to ten. Maybe if he counted to ten and wished hard enough, Dave Rossi would fade away and it would just be a blip in the middle of his wonderful dream.

Ten! Nope, the son of a bitch was still on his porch. And to add insult to injury, he had a Cheshire cat grin, too!

"I knew I'd been bad enough this year to warrant coal in my stocking, but I must have been worse than I thought if I get you on my doorstep," Derek said sarcastically.

"I deserve that," Dave agreed with a nod. He noticed the balled up fists. "And I wouldn't blame you if you decided to take a swing. But I want you to hear me out."

Derek stood in the door way and crossed his arms defiantly. "Consider this your Christmas gift from me."

"Are you packed?"

"Am I what?" Derek blinked in surprise.

"Do you have a go bag ready to depart at the last minute?" Dave asked in a rush.

Derek scoffed. "Of course I have a bag; I work for the BAU…"

"Good," Dave interrupted. "Can you be ready to leave for Reagan in twenty?"

Derek held up his hand. "I'm not sure where this is going, and I'm not sure I want to know. Now I want you to leave."

"Just answer the question, Derek."

"Yes. I can be ready to leave in twenty. Did Swann's team get a last minute case?"

Dave shook his head. "No." He reached into his jacket and pulled out an envelope. "You're going to Chicago to spend the holidays with your family." He handed it over to the befuddled man.

Derek took the envelope and stared at it. "Do you want me to guess what this is?"

"You could, but then you would be late arriving for your flight." Dave watched as Derek removed the plane tickets. "Those are two first class tickets to Chicago. And that packet is your reservation at the Hilton - complete with room service and a car at your disposal."

Derek eyed the older agent warily. He wasn't a profiler for nothing and this whole moment not only had his feelers up, but his senses were on over load.

"There are _two_ tickets here…" He held up the tickets imprinted with the carrier's logo.

"You're taking Penelope with you," Dave finished.

"I'm not following you, Rossi. Two days ago, you were a first class asshole that anyone of us would have loved to empty a clip or two in to. Now," he paused as he turned the tickets over in his hands, "you stand on my porch, two days before Christmas bearing gifts that are supposed to what? Mend things? Make everything you did go away?" Derek snorted.

"I think that it would take more than that to right the wrongs I've done. I want this to be the first step toward something new between us." He looked at his watch and frowned. "But unless you want to stand here all day arguing why I'm doing this, I would suggest getting changed and running out the door before you leave Penelope stranded at the airport. You don't want to do that."

"Wait! Did you say that my Baby Girl is at the airport?"

"She is. It took some persuading, but once I threw in a new Apple I-Pod, she helped change the tickets I had from Hawai'i to Chicago and book the room."

"Are you telling me that you managed to worm your way back into Pen's heart with an electronic device?" Derek shook his head. No more of Pen's secret recipe eggnog handed down from generation to generation; the after effects were causing him to hallucinate.

Dave shoved his hands in his jacket pocket and shifted his weight. "Not exactly. If I remember correctly, there are twelve days of Christmas."

Derek smirked. "That's my girl. Maybe I should hold out for more."

"You could," Dave mused. "but then you'll miss being there for your mother's operation."

"Pen told you about that?" he asked defensively.

"No, she didn't."

"You profiled me! How else…?"

"Derek, go get ready and get on the damn plane, okay? Be there for your mother and celebrate Christmas." He turned to walk away. "One more thing: let the doctors know that there might be a problem with your mother's heart that they need to look at before they put her under general anesthesia."

He froze. "Thanks, I'll remember that."

Concealing a satisfied smile, Dave walked down the short path to his truck. He waited for Derek to go back inside and close the door. Then he started the engine.

"Two down…six to go." He started the engine and drove toward the breaking dawn. There was still a lot he had to do to mend the bridges he'd burned and there was only a short window of opportunity to get it right.

And he still hadn't figured on how to win Em back before Christmas morning. It could all blow up in his face, but what the hell, it was the season for miracles.

He just hoped he had enough chips to cash in for the mother of all miracles.


	22. Chapter 22

_The last chapter for 2011! _

_Enjoy!_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

The sound of people talking and laughing filled the large ballroom to mix with the music blaring from the sound system. Dozens of agents - along with government employees - and their respective families milled around the area while others sat at the numerous round tables. The sound of dishes and glasses clinking added to the moment. Some people grasped the moment with both hands and danced on the shiny floor to the strains of "Jingle Bell Rock".

Heavily decorated for the season, a twelve foot tall Christmas Evergreen stood in the corner decorated in a red, white, and blue theme. Beside it, a red velvet upholstered wing backed chair sat empty waiting for the visit from the man of the hour.

"Dad!" Jack called out as ran toward Hotch and the team. Together as a team and strong as a family, the agents had chosen to sit at the round table by themselves. Hotch turned to catch sight of the blond boy running across the crowded space. "When is Santa coming?" Jack asked breathlessly.

"Santa?" Hotch hoped that by playing stupid he could put off the inevitable. "What about Santa?"

"I've been waiting and waiting for forever," Jack stated impatiently. "I thought he was going to be here."

"Jack…there's been a problem; I don't think -" Hotch began.

"What your dad is trying to say is that Santa may be delayed getting here. You see, he has to be at so many places at one time…he might not be able to get here tonight," JJ interjected as Hotch stumbled.

Jack's lower lip trembled. "You mean Santa isn't coming?"

"He's going to try."

"That's grown up for 'no'," Jack stated with just a bit of underlying temper.

"Jackson -" Hotch started. JJ gave him the same look she gave to reporters who had overstepped their bounds.

Turning to her right, JJ smiled softly and rumpled the young boy's blonde hair. "It means exactly what it means. I'm going to try and call Santa and see what is taking him so long. You never know, he could be putting the finishing touches on the gifts."

Em stood up quickly. "Jack, have you seen the dessert table?" The boy shook his head. "Well, why don't we take Henry over and get his mother something?" Grabbing the children's hands, she led them away from the table.

"I don't blame her for leaving," JJ murmured under her breath. "Maybe it's best that Dave didn't show up tonight." She raised the champagne glass to her lips. "Half the FBI wants him shot, and the other is out for blood."

"I thought he would have remembered his obligation." Hotch squeezed the bridge of his nose between his middle finger and thumb. "I did try to call him. It went to voicemail."

"He skipped out on Em, his job, and now the children. I wish I knew what had gotten into him."

"None of us saw it coming. And maybe it's best that it happened before the wedding." Hotch swirled the amber liquid in his glass. "He's made a clean break, and so has Em."

"I know she can compartmentalize better than anyone, but something about this doesn't sit right; she hasn't cried or lashed out. It's not normal." JJ held Hotch's intense gaze. "I'm worried about her."

"I'll talk to her," Hotch promised.

"So, where are Pen and Derek?" JJ wondered as she glanced at the two empty chairs.

"Chicago. Seems Morgan was given last minute tickets to go visit his mother, and he took Pen."

"I overheard him talking about her possible gallbladder surgery. It might be for the best that he's there for her," JJ agreed. "So, who did they get to fill in on Swann's team?"

"I haven't found out."

JJ decided to change the subject. "We are going to need a Santa. And fast."

"Any ideas?"

JJ nodded toward Reid. "Spence could do it."

Hearing his name, the young doctor's head snapped up. "Do what?" he asked stupidly.

"Play Santa."

"Uh, no. No," he repeated.

"Why not? Don't you believe in Santa?" JJ teased.

"No."

"Come on. When you were a kid, you didn't stay up at night listening for sleigh bells or leave cookies by the fireplace?" JJ asked. Her eyes danced with delight.

"I grew up in Las Vegas; we didn't have a fireplace. And why would I put out cookies for a stranger breaking into the house in the middle of the night?" Spencer frowned.

JJ and Hotch looked at one another and tried to think of a response.

"And you know that Santa is just a myth, right?" Spencer continued without a pause. "Although the original Santa Claus was a man who used to go by houses on Christmas Eve and leave little presents in the shoes of the town's children…."

"Well myth or not, if we don't come up with a credible Santa in the next little while, the elves are going to riot," Hotch mused. "I have no doubt that Jack and Henry will be leading it."

"Come on, Spence. Just this once," JJ pleaded. "I'll never ask you again."

"I can't be Santa!" he protested. "I'm too young!"

"It will be your good deed for the year," she argued passionately. "Besides, women love a man in a Santa suit."

"Uniform."

"What?" JJ blinked.

"Women love men in uniform is the correct statement. Which I cannot figure out why? Statistically speaking, clothing is clothing and it all is worn the same…"

"Okay," JJ interrupted. "This isn't going to work."

Reid looked hurt. "You don't want me to be Santa?"

"You might be able to hold off the uprising, but you could cause the children to never believe in Santa or anything else ever again," Hotch replied wryly. "I would like Jack to keep hold of that innocence for a while longer. Thank you."

JJ handed Spencer her glass. "Would you get me a refill, Spence?" she asked sweetly. The pair waited for the doctor to leave. "That was close," she sighed.

"We should have had a back up plan," Hotch muttered and sipped his scotch.

"There must be someone who can don the red suit and save the day."

"Anderson comes to mind."

"Too young," JJ said.

"Jameson?"

"Two week holiday."

"Berenson? Jones? Morgenthau?"

"Too short. Out of town. Jewish," JJ finished. The silence was deafening. "We're so screwed." She drained Em's champagne glass.

"I know that it's against regs, but I'm going to shoot Dave."

"That means paperwork," she reminded gently. "And Strauss hates paperwork."

"Unless I'm the one doing it," Hotch corrected. "I don't care if it's a stacked a mile high…." A weird noise caused Hotch to stop and turn. Looking at JJ who shrugged, his first thought was to run over and protect Jack. His feet ready for flight, he was ready to launch out of his chair when a loud cheer stopped him in his tracks.


	23. Chapter 23

_Yay! Santa made it just in the nick of time. Pardon the pun! But will his secret be safe until he can get Em alone?_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"Ho! Ho! Ho!"

"Is that…?" JJ whispered to Hotch.

"Well, I'll be damned," Hotch muttered under his breath. "He did make it."

"I thought he was supposed to be on vacation. You should go stop him before Emily realizes who is under the beard," JJ said.

Hotch's lips twitched but he fought the smile he so wanted to give in to. He wasn't sure what had gotten into Dave, but he wasn't about to break the spell. "Maybe I hit him harder than I thought," he mused.

"Emily is going to shoot him when she finds out it's Dave."

"There are no weapons here tonight," Hotch corrected, "so he's pretty safe." But he couldn't guarantee that there wasn't one in Emily's car. Or that one of the agents on duty wouldn't just hand her one.

"I'm going up there." JJ got up from her seat.

"No!" Spencer spoke up. Both agents turned to look at him. "Don't do it, JJ; let it happen. Rossi is here because he wants to be for the children; this is their night. Emily can take care of herself; she's a trained agent." He reached out and touched JJ's hand. "If you go up there and say something, you are going to destroy Christmas and Santa for Jack and Henry. And they'll never be able to get it back."

JJ looked at the young doctor in surprise. "Dave…"

"He might be trying to redeem himself. Have you thought about that?" Spencer questioned softly.

"He is in a room full of FBI agents, Jen," Hotch reminded her. "If he gets out of line, they'll take care of it. Besides, I don't think I've ever seen this side of Dave Rossi before."

JJ sat down and let out her breath. "Okay. You win." She would bite her tongue and hold herself back, but she looked until she singled out Henry. Her eyes never left her baby for the rest of the night.  
>*****<p>

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" a deep voice bellowed out heartily from the far end of the ball room. "Merry Christmas!"

The music stopped as the guests turned and looked in the direction of the sound. In an instant a figure in red appeared and the cries of the children was deafening. Within seconds, the man was surrounded by dozens of children all tugging on his clothes and talking at once.

"Santa! Santa! Santa!" the children chanted as they followed him to the chair beside the tree. Eagerly, they stayed beside him.

Settling his bag on the ground, Santa looked around at the children before pushing his glasses up higher on his nose. "Tell me: have you all been good this year?" he asked.

"Yes!" came the resounding answer.

Santa pretended to clean out his ear. "It must be the cold air from flying down from the North Pole. I don't think I heard that. Have you all been good this year?" he repeated.

"YES!" the children shouted out.

Holding his belly, Santa gave a full belly laugh. "Now _that_ is what I like to hear!" He picked up the bag of toys. "I know that I was late, but I had to stop and get some carrots for my reindeer. It seems they got awfully hungry pulling all of these gifts from the North Pole to Quantico. So, I guess all of you have been good."

The children gave another cheer.

Looking around the room, Santa searched until he found Em standing by the buffet table holding the hands of Jack and Henry. He could see the happiness on her face and his heart fell fast. She was so beautiful and alive; he hadn't been late getting back. Now he just had to make sure that it wasn't too late to make it up to her. He was thankful for the camouflage and hoped that it would buy him some time to think of a way to approach her before all hell broke loose.

Swallowing hard, he turned his attention back to the munchkin crowd. "Let's see who is up first." He reached into the bag dramatically and pulled out a splendidly wrapped box. Squinting at the tag, he announced: "Jack Hotchner. Is there a Jack Hotchner here tonight?"

"That's me!" the young boy piped up from the opposite side of the room. Letting go of Em's hand, Jack ran as fast as he could to claim his gift. Stopping in front Santa, he panted heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

"Yes?" Santa asked. His eyes twinkled with mischief. Reaching over, he picked Jack up and sat him on his knee.

"I'm Jack Hotchner."

"Are you now? I've heard that you have been a very good boy this year." Santa pretended to read his list. "It says here that you help your dad around the house and you get your homework done when you're told."

Jack's eyes widened with surprise. "How did you know?"

"I know everything, son." Santa bent down to hand the gift to Jack. "Don't ever lose your faith, Jackson."

"You know my name! How did you know?"

"Your mom told me."

"Really?"

Santa nodded. "She did. She also told me to tell you that she loves you so very much and that she' proud of you." Santa rumpled the boy's hair. "Never stop believing in Christmas."

Jack's big brown eyes searched the man's eyes for the truth. Then he smiled. "I won't, Santa. I promise."

"Good. Now go over to your dad and unwrap your gift," he ordered in a choked voice clogged by tears.

Jumping down, Jack ran toward his dad.

"Who's next?" he asked the cheering children who were shouting out their names. Reaching into his bag, he called another name.

"DAD! DAD! Look what Santa gave me!" Jack cried out as he ran toward the table. Putting it down on the ground, he started ripping the paper off. Then he gasped. "Look! It's a Star Wars Lego set! What I've always wanted forever and ever!" he rushed on without taking a breath. "He got it for me!"

"I see," Hotch smiled.

"How did he know?" Jack asked in wonderment.

"Because he's Santa. He knows everything."

"I know," Jack agreed. "He also said…" He stopped short. He wanted to tell his dad what Santa had said about his mom, but he couldn't. That was a wish he had written to Santa in the letter he had mailed because the teacher had told the class they had to. Santa knew his mom and knew the last thing she had said to him. It would always be his secret. His and Santa's.

"He said what. Jacks?" Hotch prompted when the child had paused.

"He told me to never stop believing," Jack answered.

"That's good," Hotch agreed. "Now let's see this present of yours. I have no doubt that Uncle Spencer will have it together in no time."

"He can play with it," Jack announced. He lifted the box onto the table.

"I can?" Spencer asked in surprise.

"Sure. It's Christmas. And it's sharing. And it's what my mom would want me to do."

JJ and Hotch shared a look as the pair started locking pieces together.  
>*****<p>

Reaching into the bottom of the large red sack, Santa pulled out a box. "Henry La Montange?" he called out a bit louder than normal so he could be heard over the sound of ooo's and ah's and paper tearing. Before he could think, a small body rushed into his.

"I's Henry!" he announced excitedly.

"So, you are. Have you been good?"

The blonde child nodded quickly. "Yes I have! I even wrote you a letter."

"You did?"

"Yep! I forgot to send it. But I got it with me." Henry dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a piece of white paper with crayon marks. "This is for you." He thrust the paper toward the bearded man.

Taking the note, Santa unfolded it and looked at the scribble. "Well, isn't this something," he said happily. "You didn't ask for much. A bike and…what is this?" He pointed to the scribble that resembled a worm more than a word.

"I want Uncle Dave to come back."

"Well, I think that can be arranged. Until then, I have something for you." Santa gave him the brightly wrapped box.

Henry took it with both hands. "Thank you!" Reaching up, he hugged Santa tightly. "I knew you'd come back," he whispered. Kissing the bearded cheek, he gave another hug. "I love you Santa."

Automatically, Santa hugged the boy back. "I love you too, Henry," he whispered.

Henry jumped down from the red velvet knee and ran to where Em was standing. "Auntie Emily, I got a present!"

"You did?" She knelt down in front of the child.

"I gave Santa my letter and he said he was going to make my wish come true!"

Em smiled lovingly. "Oh, he did? What did you ask for?" she mused. Her hands held the box.

"That Uncle Dave comes back for Christmas."

Em's mouth dropped open. "Henry…I…" she sputtered and tried to find the words to reply, but she was too shocked to speak.

"And he did!" Henry stated happily.

"He did what?" Em's heart stopped as she waited for the reply.

"He brought me Uncle Dave."

"Oh? How…how do you…" She licked her lips. Her heart beat roared loudly in her ears. "How do you know that?"

"Uncle Dave is Santa!"


	24. Chapter 24

_Em and Dave are about to meet. Too bad it's Chiristmas and not the Fourth of July!_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Guiding Jack to the round table where JJ and the rest of the team were sitting, Em tried to hold on to what little bit of sanity she still had. At least she would try to hold on to it, if she could think. _Dave is Santa. Dave is Santa_, she chanted to herself. He was back. And now she had to get out of there.

Em handed Henry over to his mother, then reached for her purse and coat. "I'm sorry, but I am going to have to call it a night."

"What? Emily, it's still early," JJ protested.

Em shook her head. "I have to get home and let the cat out." She hoped her tone sounded reluctant and contrite. But she was around trained profilers, and there was no doubt that they were profiling her body language and could see thru her lie.

JJ reached out and touched Em's hand to still her. "Don't go," she pleaded. "You don't have to talk to him. We'll protect you."

Em gave her best friend a weak smile. She looked at her watch. "It's getting late and I really must go." She leaned down to give JJ a hug. "I'm sorry."

"I understand. Call me later, okay?" JJ asked.

"I will." Em pulled back and looked at the others. "I'm sorry, Hotch." He nodded, but his look was grim. "Hey, Handsome Jack, you tell your dad to bring you over so we can build a snowman, okay?" she asked and rumpled the boy's hair.

"Do you have to go?" Jack whined.

"I do. But I'll see you tomorrow. You too, Henry."

"Bye, Auntie Emily," Henry said, but he was focused on the train set Santa had given him. He gave her a wave.

"Call me," Spencer ordered. "Maybe we can catch the midnight showing of 'A Nightmare Before Christmas' down at the Bijou. I heard they are going to have French subtitles."

"Sounds like fun." The only thing that sounded like fun at the moment was to try and make a clean get away, then make the call to the CIA Director and beg for her old job back. She had left on good terms, so it shouldn't be a problem. "I really have to go."

Without a backwards glance, Em hurried out of the ballroom to the hallway. Oblivious to the people passing by, her heels made a clicking noise on the highly polished tile toward the front lobby. Pushing the strap of her purse higher on her shoulder, she went to put on her coat and stopped. _Where was her coat?_ She looked around. Then groaned.

"I left it in the ballroom," she said to herself. Letting out a deep sigh of frustration, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. "I really don't want to go back in there," she muttered. Looking up, she saw the snow falling down. "And I _really_ don't want to go out there without my coat," she finished.

"Are you looking for this?" a voice asked from behind.

Em turned to see Santa standing in front of her. In his hands was her coat.

"You might need this if you're going out." He thrust it toward her gently. Em hesitated. "It's alright; I haven't rigged it or poisoned it," he joked weakly.

Em took the coat. "Thank you." Her eyes refused to meet his. "So, how have you been doing, Dave?"

"You knew it was me? Let me guess: Henry spilled the beans."

Em took a shaky breath. "Yeah, he did. I see you showed up."

"I made a promise." As soon as the words were out, Dave kicked himself. Em grimaced as if in pain. "That didn't come out the way I wanted…"

Em waved him off. "Don't, Dave. Just…just go."

"I need to talk to you."

"You and I have nothing left to say. You…you told me how you really felt the other night. And I understand. You can't love me." Em blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. Of all the things she would do, she'd be damned if she cried in front of David Rossi.

"You're wrong. I was wrong. I made mistakes, Em. And I almost lost you…" He reached out and touched her shoulder. He looked into her big, deep brown eyes. There was so much he wanted to tell her.

Em pulled back and pushed Dave's hand away. "No! You _did_ lose me, you stupid, anal retentive bastard!" she spat. "You pushed me away and you lied to me. You hid behind some freaking memory of a love that never existed and tried to compare me to it. Emma. I have never hated a name so much in my entire life!" Em drew a breath in thru her nose, held it, then let it out one long whoosh. "Except for yours."

"I know," Dave agreed. "The things I did….the way I treated you….I have no excuse. But I got to see things from a different perspective, and I realized…"

"Are you telling me that you had an epiphany?" Em replied sarcastically.

Dave nodded. "You could call it that."

"And somehow in this 'awakening' that you had, you realized that you treated me and everyone around you like shit and you are ready to make amends."

"Let me explain," Dave pleaded.

Em looked at her watch. "I can give you a couple of minutes." She tapped her foot for emphasis.

Dave took a deep breath. "I'm cursed. For as far back as I can remember, I have never been able to keep the people I love from harm. And our last case only seemed to hit home that maybe love doesn't last forever. But for me, it seems that whoever has the misfortune of crossing my path ends up on the other side of the grass. When I was in training school, my father died. I went home but I missed the funeral. I…I never got the chance to tell him that I loved him." Tears choked his voice and he swallowed them down.

"My Aunt Concetta told me that I put myself ahead of my family and I killed my father. She cursed me that I would never know true love or happiness for the rest of my life. And I can't really blame her because my father was her only sibling. I think that is when I started to push everyone away. My marriages were to hide the fact that I failed with Emma. She didn't want me. I guess she never loved me the way I loved her. And even if she had, I can't say that things wouldn't have ended differently. Chances are she would have been the first ex-Mrs. Rossi instead of Caroline."

Dave paused. His two minutes were up but Em wasn't walking away. Maybe there was a chance that he could redeem himself. So, he continued.

"I didn't want to fall in love after I gambled and lost at my third marriage. Admitting defeat was hard enough the first two times, but when lightning struck three times in a row….even I had to wonder if curses were real. And since no relationship lasted more than a couple of months…well, I had to give in. Concetta was right," he confessed. "That is…until…" He glanced down for a second, then back up into Em's eyes. "Until you came into my life," he finished.

Em's lips twitched, but she didn't speak.

"You were everything I never wanted in a woman: strong, independent, resourceful, and damaged. Just like me. I didn't want to fall in love with you, but my heart knew better than my brain did. I didn't know what I lost when I let you go. You are the most important thing in my life and I was too blind to see that. Everyday I held you and I never what kind of paradise was in my hands. But I'm my own worst enemy…."

"That's why you…hurt me? You…insulted me in front of everyone? Why couldn't you have come to me and told me this?" Em asked in a tight voice.

"Because I was ashamed. You thought you were marrying the 'great David Rossi' but instead you were getting a man who's feet are made of clay."

"You're a fussy, anal retentive, neat-freak; I already knew you had feet of clay. You've been married three times. But you haven't answered my question: what did I do to make you hurt me so badly?"

Dave fought back the tears. He was going to lose her. And when he lost her, it was going to be for good.

"Answer me: what did I do to make you hurt me so badly?" Em repeated.

"You loved me."

"I see."

"But I can handle that now," Dave said. "I've changed, and I'm ready to prove myself to you and to everyone that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." He took Em's hand and pressed her palm to his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. "I can't take back what I did or what I said, but I can do everything necessary to make sure that you are treated the way you should be. Give me one more chance, Emily. Please."

"Dave…"

"I'm sorry and I love you. I love you more than I thought possible."

Em looked into his eyes and searched for what he was saying was the truth. There was definitely a change, but…was it the truth or what he wanted her to see? The profiler in her was on alert and seeing that what he said was coming from the heart. But her heart was shattered and there was no way that she could take that leap of faith again.

"I want to tell you that I understand and that I forgive you because that is what I was taught to do. You…I love you. There is a part of me that will always love you more than I should. I don't know what got into you - maybe you had an epiphany or maybe Hotch knocked some sense into you." Em pulled her hand away.

"I'm glad you finally got to see the error of your ways. Some people don't get the chance to clear their conscience. You are one of the lucky ones. But I can't give you a second chance; I'm not that strong," she continued.

"Em, hear me out."

"I did, Dave. I gave you the chance to make things right…and I didn't shoot you. I guess you got off lucky this time. But I've made other plans…"

"You're going overseas to Europe," Dave finished.

Em's mouth dropped open. "How did you know?"

"I told you, I've had a life altering experience. I know what will happen if you take that job. Em, don't go."

"You're not in the position to tell me what to do. If I remember correctly, you were put on suspension and you're going to be transferred as soon as you get back from Hawai'i."

"I'm not going to Hawai'i. I gave the tickets to Derek to go to Chicago to be with his mother…"

"I see," she interrupted impatiently.

"Em, you can't go to Europe. Trust me." He had been reduced to begging, but he didn't care. There was no way he could let her go to Europe.

"Trust you?" she spat. "I will never trust you. I never want to see you again."

"I deserved that, too. Just do me one favour," he pleaded. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me. If you mean it, I'll leave you alone. I'll never go near you again."

Feeling an invisible cloak of apathy fall over her, Em looked Dave in the eyes. "I don't love you. In fact," she continued in an unemotional tone, "I hate you." Then she turned on her heel and walked across the lobby to the double doors and out into the cold wintry weather, leaving Dave standing alone.

And she had forgotten her coat.


	25. Chapter 25

_Just a gentle reminder that although Em did have a conversation with Father Jimmy in an earlier chapter, this is NOT an exact replica. It's been changed up because when the Ghost of Christmas Present showed Dave his "future" there had been NO Santa at the party and Em had not talked to Dave since they had it out at his place the night of the pre-wedding party. His coming back and donning the suit changed that, and then talking to Em in the hallway drastically changed his future. And hers too. The question now is: was it for the good?_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

The smell of burnt incense filled the massive room. Soft Christmas hymn music could be heard. The church was empty - save for one person. Father Jimmy Ryan was putting the finishing touches on the sanctuary. Once a year the Midnight Mass on Christmas morning brought out the parishioners of every age to his church for worship and it thrilled him beyond all words. Of all the holidays, the day of his Savior's birth was the one that he looked forward to the most.

Making sure everything was in place, he turned toward the altar for the door on the far right side that led to the rectory. Glancing at his watch, he smiled. Maybe he could get in a little more letter writing and put the final touches on his sermon before he went to bed.

As he reached for the handle, a sound caught his ear. Pausing, he listened closely. Was that someone crying? Turning around, he looked out toward the empty sanctuary and saw a figure hunched over in one of the pews.

Making his way down the steps from the altar, he walked to where the person sat and touched their shoulder.

"My child, are you alright?" he asked gently.

The figure raised their head. "Hi Father Jimmy," Em greeted thru her tears.

Jimmy didn't try to hide his surprise. "Emily. What are you doing here?"

"Hiding," she joked weakly. "I figure this is the last place he would think of to come looking for me, so I'm pretty safe."

Jimmy gave her a quizzical grin. "Him?"

"Dave."

"Ah." The meaning of the situation slowly dawned on him. "Do you mind if I sit down?" he asked. Em shook her head.

"Go ahead." She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, Father Jimmy…"

"Jimmy," he corrected. "I'm off duty right now."

"I thought priests were never 'off duty'," Em questioned and raised her eyebrow.

"I'm on break." Jimmy settled in. "So, what brings you here on the night before Christmas Eve?"

"I needed to be alone. I don't want to hear how everything is going to be alright or that they are there for me if I need them. I need peace and quiet. A church seemed better than my place," Em confessed.

"You said that it would be the last place he would look for you. What did you mean by that?" Jimmy wondered.

"Dave was at the party tonight."

"I thought he was going to Hawai'i?"

Em shook her head. "No. He had to keep one of his promises - just not the right one. But that's just like Dave Rossi, so I'm not too surprised that he was in it for himself."

"What makes you think that?" Jimmy wondered a loud. "That he had an ulterior motive?" he amended.

"When haven't you known Dave _not _ulterior motive?" she scoffed.

"Once upon a time, Davy only wanted two things in life: success and…"

"Emma," Em finished.

"Emma," Jimmy reluctantly agreed.

Sitting in silence, Em and Jimmy pondered the moment. Both desperately wanted answers to questions but neither felt the need to speak up first. Finally, Em broke the silence.

"What did she have that I didn't?"

"What do you mean?" Jimmy asked.

"Dave has loved her all of his life. Even when she's been gone for years, Dave is still in love with her. What is that magical hold she has on him?" Em pleaded. "Tell me."

"There was always a connection between them," Jimmy confessed. "From the moment he saved her from being hit by a snowball that one Christmas morning, there was something between them. At first it was a hero worship on her part, but as they got older, she started to pull away while he fell in love." Jimmy got very quiet. "They were each other's first. And we thought that they were going to get married."

"Why didn't they?"

Jimmy shook his head. "I don't know. Davy went into the Marines and Emma went off to college. I know that when he went back to Commack for his mother's funeral, he wanted to take Emma back with him. But she didn't want to leave. I know that's when he decided to never come back to Commack."

"He may have left, but his heart stayed behind," Em groused. "What was she like?"

"Emily, I don't think I should be talking about Emma to you."

"Why not?" she replied angrily. "You knew her. Her husband murdered people because of her. Dave can't love because of her. I'm left wandering in the dark over a woman every man was mad about, but no one wants to discuss." Em started to stand up, but Jimmy held her back.

"Emily, sit down. I'll tell you what you want to know."

"Aren't you breaking some kind of 'confidentiality'?" she asked sarcastically.

Jimmy gave a half smile. "She never confided in me, and what I'm going to tell you happened before I was a priest." Em sat down. "She was a lovely kid. Very sweet, very smart, and just all around a wonderful person to know. I guess you could say that you are a lot like her. And I can see why Dave fell for you."

"Comforting." Em rolled her eyes.

"Emma was a cute kid and a nice lady, but she wasn't meant to be with Davy. There was something about her that didn't click with him the way you do with him. They had common interests and they grew up together, but…" Jimmy searched for the right words. "You and Davy are so much alike it's almost scary."

"Pfft!"

"He loves you more than he loved Emma, and I think that's what scared him."

"Yeah, right. And that gives him the right to do what he did."

Jimmy reached out and covered Em's hand with his. "I'm a priest, not a mind reader, so I don't know what's in the heart of another man, but I know that he loves you."

"After what he did to me?" Em shouted. "He stood me up a few days before our wedding! And you can sit there and tell me that he loved me?" As her voice bounced off the hallowed walls, she covered her mouth in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

"I am sure that God's House has heard worse. But I can understand how you feel."

"Now you're a profiler?" Em snorted.

Jimmy shrugged. "I did have to take a couple courses in Human Psychology while at the seminary. Human behaviour is very similar to what you would call profiling. From what I can gather, you still love him as much as he loves you. Think back to when he went to bat for you."

"That was out of necessity. You told him to protect me. So, he did."

"I never told him to risk his career for you. That was done out of love. And you depended on him to help you."

"I had no choice; he's pretty stubborn."

"He said the same about you. You came back to the BAU when you could have stayed away. You could have let your friends grieve for you and be none the wiser. But you came back. Why?"

Em remained silent.

"You came back because of love."

"I might love the team, but I don't love Dave."

"Are you sure?" Jimmy wondered. "Because if you didn't, you wouldn't be here in a church late at night. You would be at home doing what ever it is that you do with your friends."

"It doesn't matter, because I am leaving the BAU after Christmas," Em stated flatly.

"I see. So, you're going to run away without finishing things with Davy."

"I can't stay around here and see him all the time and remind myself of what happened between us."

"May I ask a question? Is Davy worth fighting for?"

Em tried to look Jimmy in the eyes but couldn't. Instead, she concentrated on her hands that were furiously picking at her cuticles. "I don't know."

"Well, the answer is pretty simple. Maybe it's not apparent at the moment because your heart is clouded with emotion…"

"Clouded with emotion? He stood me up!" Em flared.

"The answer is there, Emily. You have to seek it." Jimmy's tone was patient and kind.

Em lowered her eyes. "That won't be happening."

"Oh?" Jimmy asked carefully.

"I put in for a transfer back to the FBI/CIA anti-terrorist joint task force as a translator and liaison. I'm leaving after the first of the year for London."

Jimmy appeared flummoxed. "London? For how long?"

Em sniffed back the tears. "Forever. I'm never coming back here."

Jimmy's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I see. Then let me leave you with some words of wisdom, Emily. Forgiveness can be asked in many ways. Davy coming back when he could have left is proof that he wants a second chance to make things right. You don't have to give him a second chance - there is nothing in the Bible that says to give someone a second chance to hurt you again. But it does say to turn the other cheek. You say you can't forgive Davy for what he did to you, but maybe you can't forgive yourself for falling for a man you knew couldn't love you."

Jimmy squeezed Em's hand lovingly. "Deep down inside you still care for him or else you wouldn't be here tonight. You should talk to him, Emily, and find out what he has to say. Don't leave before you have your answers." He made the sign of the cross. "I will see you for Midnight Mass?"

"I will try." Em stood up. Stepping to the side, she made her way down the narrow aisle. "Thanks for the talk."

Jimmy reached out and took her hand. "Think about what I said. Sometimes it's too late to go back and get a second chance. Maybe this is yours and his."

Em gave a small, forced smile and pulled her hand away. "Merry Christmas."

"Go with God," Jimmy replied. He watched as Em walked down the aisle to the front doors. The sound of the heavy oak slamming echoed through the empty sanctuary. Sighing, he stood up. It was time for bed.

After he had a drink.


	26. Chapter 26

_Dave comes clean with what sent him over the edge. In the process, he makes a self discovery._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

Dave knew two things at the moment: he didn't have an answer to the joke called his life and he was cold as hell! Shivering, he buried himself deeper into the thin red velvet coat and wondered why the hell he couldn't have taken his car?

He should have swallowed his pride and admitted defeat. He should have gone back into the reception hall and tried to make it up with the rest of the team. He owed them something better than a pathetic excuse, but at the moment, he was fresh out of anything other than trying to find Em and keep from freezing to death.

He looked around at the snow covered buildings and felt a peace he never experienced pierce his heart. He couldn't believe he had almost thrown it all away. He was ready to get it back. And he was never going to let it go again.

Pausing to rub his cold hands together, he looked up and noticed the massive cathedral. Was it luck or Divine Providence that he would find himself outside the same church where Jimmy resided? Any other time, he would have scoffed at a higher up power taking charge, but after what had happened two nights ago, he was not going to question things. Besides, if anyone had an answer, it would be Father Jimmy.

Walking around the building, he followed the narrow path to the gate that encased the rectory and individual houses of the priests. Jiggling the handle a certain way, he got the gate to open. Closing it gently, he made his way to the third cottage on the right. The wind picked up suddenly and tore thru his outfit. God, it was cold! Rubbing his cold hands quickly, he blew on them. Hopefully, Jimmy would have answers and heat.

Glancing at the large bay windows, he looked for a light. He wasn't sure, but there seemed to be one on in the far end of the cottage, so he knocked. Then he waited. Nothing.

He raised his fist again, but this time he pounded.  
>****<p>

Father Jimmy was pulling back the covers on his bed when the knock filled the quiet. Startled, he wondered if it was his ears playing tricks on him. Besides, who could be knocking this late in the evening…unless it was an emergency. He tried to dismiss it as the wind, but there was no mistaking the pounding on the oak.

Grabbing his robe and glasses, he donned them and hurried to the door. With no regard to his safety, he flung the door open and then stopped as he noticed the figure dressed in red standing on his narrow stoop.

"David?" he greeted in surprise.

"Hi, Jimmy. Can I come in?" Defeat laced Dave's tone. His shoulders slumped forward.

Jimmy stepped aside. "Yes. Come in." He waited for Dave to enter before closing the door. For a long moment the two men stood and tried to wait for the cold to dissipate before speaking.

"I know that I told you to stop by any time, but I didn't think you'd take me literally," Jimmy quipped.

"I know it's late, but I was walking by the church, so I thought I'd stop in," Dave apologized thru chattering teeth.

"Wait! Are you telling me that you were out walking in this?" Jimmy barked. Dave nodded. "Sit down. Let me get you a drink," he ordered his friend. Hurrying to his bedroom, there was some rustling as he searched for the bottle he kept on hand for emergencies.

Re-appearing a minute later, Jimmy thrust a small glass at Dave. Then he peeled the wrapping off the lid and opened the bottle before pouring a healthy splash of amber liquid.

"What is this?" Dave asked. He sniffed the contents. "I thought priests were supposed to abstain?"

"It's my 'emergency' stash. Drink!" Jimmy commanded.

Unused to the tone, Dave complied. He took a sip and let the potent, aged scotch roll over his tongue and slide down his throat to warm his body. He was starting to thaw out. Carefully, he sipped.

Jimmy settled in the chair across from Dave and turned on the light.

"Turn that off," Dave snapped.

Jimmy considered leaving the light on when he caught sight of Dave's red rimmed eyes. He reached over and snapped off the lamp.

"What brings you here?" Jimmy asked carefully, though he had his suspicions.

"I screwed up, Jimmy," Dave confessed. "I hurt Em and the team. I destroyed every bit of happiness and love I had in my life because I was too proud to admit that I was afraid. I could blame it on Emma or Aunt Concetta or even my father's death, but it was my fault. And I used my fear of failing against Emily. Now she's gone and I'm never going to get her back."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Dave snorted. "You mean like confession?"

"It's good for the soul."

"Yeah. It seems that I've heard that a lot lately," Dave groused. "Do you believe in ghosts?" he asked out of the blue.

Jimmy paused. "You mean like spirits…angels?"

"Two of them were angels…that I can be sure of, but one was definitely a ghost, and the last was just a…I'm not sure what he was - without wings, what would you call it?" Dave wondered.

"Are you drunk?" Jimmy was concerned. Maybe giving him the scotch was a bad a idea.

"This is the only thing I've had to drink in nearly three days; I can assure you that I'm very sober. But what would you call someone who is not quite an angel and not exactly a devil?" Dave asked.

"A spirit?"

Dave shrugged. "That would pretty much sum him up."

"You're starting to scare me, Davy. What happened?"

"Do you believe in guardian angels?"

Jimmy nodded. "I do."

"I agree. I know that there is something out there protecting us, but I never believed it. But my eyes have definitely been opened."

"And that's when you realized that you screwed up?" Jimmy wondered.

Dave didn't reply. Instead, he stared at his hands for a long time. "I saw her death," he whispered softly.

"Whose death?" Jimmy asked carefully, though his heart was pounding.

"Em's."

"I'm sure it was just a bad dream," Jimmy comforted. "This has happened before. Maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you."

"James, I saw her grave marker. It had her name on it," Dave stated adamantly. His hand shook as he brought the glass to his lips.

"Okay, slow down. When does this happen?"

"A couple of years from now. I chased her off to Europe to go back to the CIA. I caused her death."

A shiver went thru Jimmy as he remembered the conversation he had earlier with Em. She was going to Europe after the first of the year. Was it coincidence?

"Did you tell her this?" Jimmy asked carefully.

"How could I without her having me arrested? Or having the team get me committed? I tried to tell her, but she walked off."

"Considering what you did to her, do you blame her?" Not one to judge, James kept his tone neutral.

"I understand her reasons. I didn't see that before, but I see it now and I'm ready to make amends. I started some of it by sending Derek and Penelope to Chicago to be with his mother. And I donned the suit to be Santa so Jack doesn't grow up to hate Santa and become a delinquent. But there is nothing I can do to make it up to Hotch for accusing him of sleeping with Emily," Dave rambled on.

"You what?" There was no disguising the surprise in Jimmy's tone.

"It was in the heat of anger and I said some things I wish I hadn't. I'm sure there is no way I can go back and make things different."

"Ah, Davy. Why did you do that?"

"I was stupid and hurt. After that last case - the one with the guy who murdered his fiancée to get out of marrying her because he didn't know how to tell her he didn't love her any longer - it scared me."

"How?"

"It made me question why I was taking a fourth chance on marriage when the first three crashed and burned so badly. I wondered if I really had what it takes to make someone happy. Would Em wake up one morning and blame everything bad on me…like Caroline did? Or walk away because she no longer loved me…like Emma?"

"I wouldn't compare Emily to Caroline or Emma. They weren't right for you. And the sins that Caroline laid at your feet…you don't have to take that burden. As for Emma, she made her choice and it wasn't you. You can't blame yourself." Jimmy paused to let his words sink in. "None of your wives were right for you," he continued passionately, "but Emily…now that's the woman you need in your life. She won't put with your crap."

"She wants nothing to do with me."

"I have a sneaking suspicion that she still cares deeply for you."

Dave snorted softly. "Obviously your sneaking suspicion didn't hear her tonight when she told me that she hated me."

"Hate is the other side of the coin. You can't hate someone you don't feel passionate about."

"The only thing Em was thinking passionately about was how to locate a gun to shoot my sorry ass," Dave argued.

"No one on earth would blame her. That's for sure," Jimmy agreed. "Have you told her how you feel and what made you do what you did?" he asked.

"I tried. She won't listen." Dave ran a hand over his forehead, "but I can't let her go to England. There will be no third chance if she leaves. I learned my lesson; I will never hurt her again and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her if I can go back and start over," Dave confessed.

"Say you tell her all of this and she still wants to leave, then what will you do?" Jimmy wondered a loud.

Dave paused. He had been so intent on wanting Em back and righting all of his wrongs that he had yet to consider that it might not happen. What if she told him to get lost? What if she really meant that she didn't love him and that she hated him?

"You told me what you are willing to do to make her come back, but what are you willing to do if she decides that 'no' is her final answer?" Jimmy asked.

Dave remembered the feeling of watching himself sitting in the lonely house by himself holding the picture of Em by the cabin. He remembered the sadness when her name echoed off the walls. But worse than remembering the loneliness, he could still feel the pain of losing her and seeing the marker in the ground.

"I will let her go and pray that God blesses the path she takes," Dave answered in a trembling voice.

Jimmy nodded. "I believe you." He stood up and walked over to his heartbroken friend. He placed a comforting hand on Dave's shoulder. "Do you need me to call you a cab?"

Dave shook his head. "I think I can make my way back to the hotel. I'll get a room."

"Are you sure? You can stay here. The couch is pretty comfortable," Jimmy offered.

"Thanks, but I have a go bag in the back of my car; I'll be alright." Dave tightened the belt around his Santa coat. The snow was coming down faster and it was quite a walk back to the hotel. Turning toward the door, he turned the knob.

"Thanks for hearing me out, Jimmy."

"It's going to be alright. God has a plan for you and Emily."

Dave nodded sadly in agreement. "I just wish He would take me instead of Em. If He had to take someone." His shoulders slumped. He had finally given up the fight. "Night, Jimmy." He opened the door, then closed it behind him.

Jimmy stood in the middle of the living room and tried to make sense out of what had just transpired in the last couple of hours. Unable to make the pieces fit, he retired to his room. Turning down the covers, he started to get in, when the urge to pray overwhelmed him.

Kneeling beside the bed, he crossed himself.

"Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that You bless David and Emily. Help them to forgive themselves and let them see the path You have chosen for them. And I ask that You please find a way to bring them together…if that is Your plan. Amen."

Standing up, Jimmy got under the covers. The last thought in his mind was about his sermon, then he fell asleep…unaware that four sets of ears had heard his prayer.


	27. Chapter 27

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"Did you hear that?" Ray wondered aloud. "Dave's finally come to his senses!"

"It took long enough," Jason groused. He was sure he had witnessed a miracle, but deep down inside, he was still ever so cautious.

"He really loves her," Emma sniffled thru a lovely smile. "I knew it. I knew he would see the light."

"I honestly had hoped that seeing his future would make him come to his senses, but I never expected that he would sacrifice his happiness for Emily," Zoe stated happily. She wanted to dance around and sing her joy. They had saved Dave Rossi from himself.

"It's not over yet," Jason interjected solemnly. "Emily doesn't love him."

"Yes, she does!" Zoe returned. "You heard her tell Father Jimmy that she still loves Dave."

"I also heard her tell him that she hated him and never wanted to see him again," Jason reminded.

"She was angry; we _all_ say things when we're angry. He hurt her and she had every reason to turn around and walk away," Zoe shot back.

"She _does_ love him," Emma said softly. "I saw it in her eyes. And you know, Jason, the eyes don't lie."

Jason looked at the two women and sighed heavily. Even in heaven, there was no way to win an argument with a woman. And he was dealing with two hopelessly, love-struck angels who were intent on making the world perfect….or at least one couple.

"I can't argue with you, Emma. You're right. Maybe she still does love him, but after what he did, there is no real chance to unfreeze her heart."

"But Dave is amending his ways!" Zoe stated passionately.

"And he _did_ give Derek his plane ticket," Ray reminded.

"He donned a Santa suit and followed Em out in a snowstorm. If _that_ isn't love, I don't know what is," Emma finished.

"Actions speak louder than words," Zoe reminded with a soft smile.

Jason held up his hands. "Look, I'm not saying that Dave hasn't changed, but none of that matters to Emily. I worked beside her for a year and a half and I know that the thing she truly respects is trust. Dave broke her trust. We can't get that back for her; she has to see it on her own."

"But if she walks out of his life and goes to Europe, you know what's going to happen," Emma cried in desperation.

"The wheels have been set in motion," Jason said with a sad shake of his head.

"I can't believe you want us to give up!" Zoe jumped up from her place on the long white couch.

"There is nothing else we can do." Jason looked defeated.

"I refuse to believe that! Dave Rossi went to bat for me when no one else would listen. He helped me. I owe him that much in return," Zoe's voice trembled from emotion. Her arms spread wide to emphasize her point.

"We are here to help people who have lost their way," she continued. "We knew that when we undertook this mission that we could fail. But we didn't…not exactly. Jason, wasn't it you who assumed that Dave wouldn't listen to reason?" Jason nodded reluctantly. "But he did. We saved him.

"Almost," Emma finished.

"He's almost there."

"We still have to get him back together with Emily for this whole thing to work." Ray let out a long breath. "And for me to get my wings."

Zoe tossed her head defiantly. "We can do it! We got him this far, we can bring those two together and give them the happy ending they deserve."

"I agree with Zoe," Emma smiled warmly. "Dave deserves it. And I owe him this much."

"Emma's right," Ray conceded. "Dave was always there for me when I needed someone. The least I can do is see this thing all the way through. Who's in with me?" he asked. Emma and Zoe's hands went up. Ray raised his. "That's three against one. Come on, Jason. Bury that hatchet."

Jason wrestled with himself for a long moment. A part of him wanted to let Dave Rossi sink or swim. He had done his part to try to right the wrongs. He and Dave had rarely - if ever - seen eye to eye on anything. Liquor, no. Women, no way. The BAU…okay, okay, there was _something _they shared a common interest in.

Then the memory of Sarah's love hit him. He couldn't be there for her when she needed him. He had failed her, and in doing so, he had lost her for eternity. Now Dave was in the same boat he had been. And it had destroyed his life. His sin was his alone, and no man should bear the weight of failure. Not when it could be avoided.

"Okay, I'm in," Jason announced.

"Yes!" Zoe exclaimed. Her hand squeezed Emma's.

"But we need to get them together by Christmas morning, or everything we showed him in the future is going to come into fruition."

"We can do it, right Emma?"

Emma nodded. "We can. I know we can."

"How?" Jason asked.

Suddenly silenced by the question, Emma and Zoe looked at one another. Ray cleared his throat.

"I think I know how we can do it. Who is up for a couple of more visits to earth?"  
>*******<p>

"Thanks for joining me on this last minute shopping spree," JJ said to Em as she handed over the Styrofoam cup of hot chocolate and took a seat at the table in the busy café.

Em cautiously sipped her drink. "I needed to get out. On the other hand," she said and paused as a child's scream filled the air. "Maybe I could have waited another day."

"At least all of this will be over in a couple of days," JJ mused.

"Until next year," Em finished sardonically.

JJ nodded. "And next year, we do it again."

"Jayje…about that…" Em began.

"Oh, did I tell you that Derek called me?" JJ interrupted.

"No. Isn't he in Chicago with Pen?"

The blonde nodded. "Yes. He went to be with his mother for her surgery."

"How is she?" Em inquired and took another sip.

"Fran Morgan is doing wonderfully…all things considered." JJ raised the cup to her lips. "It seems that right before the surgery, the doctors decided to do an EKG of her heart and found out that she had a clogged artery." She sipped and put her cup down.

"Oh no!" Em gasped.

"Turns out the simple gall bladder surgery became a bypass. Derek said that she should be home in time for New Year's."

Em brushed a tear away. "Thank God. I should send her something."

"Derek said that even though this doesn't completely erase everything that happened between him and Dave, he does owe him one."

Em appeared flummoxed. "Derek owes Dave? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"You don't know?"

"I'm purposely out of the loop when it comes to Dave Rossi. You know that," Em replied bitterly.

"Dave had some kind of change of heart and gave his plane ticket to Derek. Derek said that Dave told him to tell the doctors to check Fran's heart before the surgery. It's what saved her life. Dave saved her life," JJ amended.

"What?"

"Dave saved Fran Morgan's life. Derek is still trying to figure out how he knew." JJ looked at her friend. Her eyes softened. "Em, what's wrong?"

Em shook her head. "I…I think you have Dave confused with someone who really gives a damn about someone other than himself."

"He's changed, Em. Really. He came by last night and we talked. He apologized for what he did and said, and then he helped put together Henry's train."

"Self-sacrificing is not one of the words I would use to describe David Rossi," Em snorted and ducked her head so her friend wouldn't see the tears.

"He's sorry, Em."

"I'll bet he is."

"He's going to take Derek's place on Swann's team over the Christmas stand down."

"What a hero." Em rolled her eyes.

"He loves you. He's sorry for what he did. He said he tried to talk to you…"

"I don't want to talk to him."

"And he tried to call you," JJ continued as though she hadn't been interrupted.

"I blocked his number."

"He even apologized to Hotch. I know he still loves you."

"Hmmph."

"And I know that deep down inside you still love him. I know you do or you wouldn't have left last night." JJ sighed. "Maybe you should hear what he has to say."

"If I can get thru Christmas Day with the Ambassador, then I'm one step closer to leaving for Europe on my new assignment," Em said, decidedly changing the subject.

JJ covered Em's hand. "Emily, don't go. We just got you back; I can't lose you again."

"I have to get away for my own peace of mind."

"Emily…" JJ started, then stopped as she took in the sad, desperate, lonely look of her best friend. She had seen that look before. And once again, just when things were starting to go so well, life interrupted to change it all.

"Will it be fore good?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"Please tell me that you'll come back," JJ pleaded.

Em bit her lip and tried to hold the tears back. But it was too much effort and she was tired of fighting. Licking her lips, she took a shuddered breath.

"I'll come back." She took another breath. The pain in her chest threatened to overwhelm her. "I'll come back," she repeated, "when I stop loving Dave Rossi once and for all."


	28. Chapter 28

_For MaryEllen 1960, because you requested it._

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

"So, you're really leaving?" Hotch asked as he handed the mug of hot chocolate to Em.

"Yes." Wrapping her hands around the ceramic mug, her fingers soaked in the heat. Raising it to her lips, she sipped carefully.

Hotch settled on the couch. "I thought maybe you would have changed your mind after I made sure that Dave was going to be the one transferred."

"I need a change of scenery," she said softly. "And even though he's going to be at the Academy, it's still going to be too close for me."

"But Europe? Emily, you could transfer back to Chicago or Oklahoma. I could even make sure you go to Salt Lake if you still want all four seasons," Hotch told her.

Em shook her head. "I appreciate that, but Mother is at her new post in Denmark and I want to go back to England. Interpol offered me my old job back." She sipped again. "With a promotion and a pay raise."

Hotch shook his head. "How can I compete with that?" He offered her what he hoped passed for a smile.

Em blinked quickly. "I like that this time I can go over there without having to go into hiding. Besides, unlike the last time I was with Interpol, I am just going to provide security detail at the Embassy. After what we've seen, and I've been thru, I'm sure it will be tame."

"How long?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"Will you be back for the holidays at least? I know Jack will miss you."

"I will try. I can't make any promises."

Hotch set his mug down on the coffee table and leaned forward. Gently he covered Em's hand with his. "I wish you wouldn't go."

"Who's going away?" Jack's small voice piped up out of nowhere. Both adults looked up guiltily at the little boy shadowing the doorway leading to the hall.

"Hi Jacks!" Em greeted with false cheer. "Come here." She motioned with her arms for him to come over. Lifting him, she gave him a quick hug before putting him on her lap.

"Who's going away?" Jack repeated.

"I am," she admitted.

"You can't!" he pleaded. "No Aunt Emie, you can't go away!"

"Jack," Hotch cautioned. "Remember we use our inside voices."

"But Dad, she's going away." Jack turned to face Em. "Is this because Uncle Dave broke your heart?"

Em ran a hand over Jack's blonde hair and tried to smooth down the cowlick - the same one his father had. She was going to miss both of them so much.

"Someday, Jacks, when you grow up, you will understand," she reasoned and hoped that he wouldn't ask questions.

"I don't want to wait 'til I grow up; I want to understand _now_," Jack argued. "Why do you have to go away?"

"Because I have to."

"Because you _want_ to," Jack argued. "You are angry at Uncle Dave and you are taking it out on me."

Em looked at Hotch helplessly. "I…"

"Dad told me that sometimes you have to get along with people you don't like," Jack stated emphatically. "You have to swallow your pride and meet them half full."

Hotch flushed bright red. "I think you mean 'half-way', Jack."

Jack shrugged. "If I have to say I'm sorry to people, so do you. And sometimes, even when you are so angry you wanna cry, when they say they're sorry, you have to say 'okay'."

Em felt herself begin to sweat. "I…" she began, then stopped. Usually it was she who was grilling UNSUBs to obtain information - now she was the one being grilled by a seven year old natural born profiler - and she was out of her element. Swallowing hard, she tried not to show that she was beginning to sweat.

"Uncle Dave still loves you," Jack stated matter of fact. Em's eyes flew from Jack to Hotch and back to Jack. "He does, doesn't he, Dad?"

"Jackson…" Hotch began.

"He told you! I heard him!" Jack jumped down from Em's lap. "He told Dad that he was sorry for what he did." He looked at Hotch. "Is that why you punched him?" he asked seriously.

"You punched Dave?" Em asked in shock by the revelation.

_Oh boy!_ Hotch thought as he prayed for a miracle. He looked at his watch. "Jack, have you called Aunt Jessica to wish her a Merry Christmas?" Hotch wondered aloud as he tried to redirect the conversation.

Jack sighed. "That's Dad's way of saying that he wants me to go to my room so you two can have a grown up talk." Quickly he wrapped his arms around Em and hugged her tight. "Don't go," he whispered. "I love you."

Em squeezed him back. "I love you too." She kissed his cheek.

"Go call Aunt Jessica and then I want you to get ready so we can go to Aunt JJ's," Hotch called out as Jack ran out of the room. "I'm sorry about that, Emily," he apologized once he knew Jack was out of earshot.

Em stood up and forced a weak smile. "It's alright." She checked her watch. "I should be going; I have some last minute shopping, then I have to think of an excuse to get out of my mother's Christmas party."

"Stay with us and go to JJ's," Hotch offered. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"Thanks for the offer, but I have to start packing."

Hotch started to argue, but thought better of it. "I understand." He walked with her to the front door and watched while she donned her coat, hat, and scarf. "Will you be going to Midnight Mass tonight?"

Em buttoned her long coat and wrapped the scarf twice around her neck. "Probably not. I might beg off the Christmas Party, but my presence will still be required for Christmas brunch."

Hotch took her in his arms for a quick hug. "If you can find time between packing and brunch, don't forget to come over here to unwrap gifts. Jack will be expecting you." He stepped back. "So will I."

"Thanks Hotch. I'll call you in the morning." Em opened the door and closed it behind her. Hotch fastened the locks. With a heavy sigh, he leaned against the heavy oak and closed his eyes in prayer.  
>******<p>

Em placed the last couple of books in the large box and sealed the flaps. Ten boxes down….three hundred more to go, she sighed inwardly as she looked at the mess that she once considered her pristine living room. Rubbing a hand over her weary eyes, she felt her stomach rumble as a reminder that she had skipped lunch and dinner.

Heading to the kitchen, she washed her hands under the warm tap. Drying off on the tea towel, she glanced at her watch. Her stomach rumbled again. This time it was louder.

Out of nowhere, Sergio ran into the kitchen and meowed his displeasure. Em bent down to pick up the heavy feline. "Are you hungry, Serge?" she asked. The cat meowed again. "With all the snacks your Aunt Penny fed you, I think you could afford to skip a few meals." She rubbed her nose against his.

Reaching up, he pawed her face. "Not cool, Serge; I know where those feet have been." She placed the cat on the floor. "There. Dinner will be here shortly. I hope."

Picking up the phone, she went to dial, when a knock on the door stopped her. Running over, she undid the chain and deadbolt. Throwing it open, she stopped when she realized no one was on the other side. Looking around, she was flummoxed that the hallway was empty. Stepping back, a noise underfoot caught her ear.

Kneeling down, she picked up the cream colored envelope. On the outside, in beautiful script was printed the words: _Miss Emily M. Prentiss._

Closing the door, Em slid her finger under the flap and drew out a card. Opening it, she read the words:

_Emily, I was wondering if you could meet me at the church after Midnight Mass. I really need to talk to you. Dave_

Dave was requesting her presence? Why? What could he possibly tell her that could make a difference at this point? Hadn't he said enough to last a life time? Still….

The look on Dave's face at the hotel during the Christmas party as he played Santa and brightened the children's night with gifts and laughter. Then the look on his face as he told her how sorry he was for all that happened. There was something in his eyes that she couldn't put her finger on. It was as if he had seen the other side and had the hell scared out of him.

"Yeah, right," Em snorted as she shoved the card back in the envelope. "Dave Rossi had the hell scared out of him? It would take a helluva ghost to do that - and even then God help the ghost." Setting the card on the bar, she started to pick up the phone again when the door bell rang.

Her stomach went from rumble to a loud growl. It was time for dinner. Dave could wait.


	29. Chapter 29

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style **

Dave sat in his oversized chair and stared at the fire roaring in the fireplace. Comforting, warm, and soothing – it was everything it should be – but it wasn't enough to mend his broken heart. He was stupid, and he had acted even worse. He had held the world - and the heart of the woman he would always love – in the palm of his hands, and what did he do? He threw it all away. He should have been shot on the spot the night he killed Em's dreams of a happily ever after.

No, he corrected, getting shot would have been the easy way out; living with the searing pain of loss ripping thru his heart was better punishment. But living without Em in his life was the worst. She was going to die alone in a foreign country all because of his pride. And there was nothing he could do about it. And once that happened, he would have no choice but to live the rest of his life in seclusion. First thing in the morning, he was packing and moving to the cabin. He would drop off his letter of resignation on Erin Strauss's desk on the way to Little Creek.

The clock mournfully tolled the hour of nine. Maybe it was time to turn in. Christmas Eve was almost over and there was nowhere he needed to go. Not anymore.

He should have tried harder to make Em understand that he was sincere about wanting to spend the rest of his life making it up to her. He should have found that one thing that would have convinced her that he wanted to fill their home with children and laughter. But she had turned away and no one could blame her.

Now he was alone in the huge house he had bought as a statement of his success. And that was all it was: a house. Without Em and his friends, it could never be a home.

He should get ready to go to Midnight Mass, but what would be the use? It wasn't going to ease the pain in his heart. It wasn't going to wash his sins clean. It wasn't going to bring Em back to him.

Standing up, he stretched. Tomorrow was Christmas and he had been invited to JJ's for dinner. He didn't want to go, but Henry had pleaded and begged and finally turned on the tears. How could he resist the blonde angel who had never lost faith?

Henry had saved him. The little boy who saw deep into his heart had helped bring him back to reality and showed him that there was something worth saving. And in return, Derek and Pen were going to have a chance at happiness. Fran Morgan would live to see her grandchildren. Jack would grow up normal, and Spencer would survive.

But without Em, he had still failed. If only he could have a reason to give it one more try, he prayed.

Turning off the light, he headed toward the staircase. It was early, but with any luck, he might still be able to get a couple of hours of sleep. His feet clumped heavily on the stairs.

Suddenly a knock on the door made him jump. Turning around, he hurried to the foyer. _Em!_ His heart jumped for joy. His prayer had been answered. But as he looked thru the peep hole in the heavy oak, he had to pause. There was no one on the other side. Perplexed, he opened the door. Looking around at the empty porch, he moved back into the warmth of the house, when a piece of paper caught his eye.

_**Mr. David A. Rossi**_

The letters were printed in bold beautiful letters on the outside of the cream colored envelop. Picking it up, he slid hid finger under the flap to draw out the card. He had to read it three times before the words sunk in: _Dave, I was wondering if you could meet me at the church after Midnight Mass. I need to talk to you. Em._

Em wanted to talk to him? Something had to be wrong. But what? He hadn't heard anything. No one had called him. He wasn't one to make a mountain out of a molehill, but considering what he had seen in his future, nothing was out of the realm of possibility. Now she needed him. _Emily_ needed him.

Suddenly the truth dawned on him. It was time to move on. For good. Shoving the card in the envelope, he set it on the table next to the door. Then he reached into the back of his jeans and pulled out his wallet. Flipping it open, he stared at the picture he had carried for far too long.

Pulling it out, he fingered it gently as he memorized the face and smile. So gentle and sweet. Her beauty and love would always haunt him. There would always be a place in his heart for her, but it was time to move on.

Walking over to the fireplace, he pulled the grate back and knelt down. The sound of laughter rang in his ears as he quickly remembered the happy times. The looks. The touches. The late night kisses of promises of forever. He remembered her soft eyes looking at him as she had turned around and walked away toward her future. Now it was his turn to do the same.

Closing his eyes, his finger caressed the smooth matte finish one last time. With a flick of his wrist, he threw the picture into the fire. The flames rapidly consumed the 3X5.

"Good-bye Emma," he whispered as the picture melted, curled, then burst before fading away into ash.

Standing up, he replaced the grate. A feeling of freedom filled him. Looking at his watch, he smiled. He had to get ready for Mass. Then he was going to win Em once and for all.  
>****<p>

"Well, the cards have been delivered," Ray announced.

"How did they react?" Emma asked excitedly.

"Em was nonchalant, but I'm waiting on Dave," he replied.

"I thought Em would be running around to get ready," Emma replied. "I thought we had made it clear that they needed to see each other."

"Do you blame her for not dropping everything?" Jason wondered a loud. "He did destroy her."

"But he's changed!" Emma argued. "Look what he did for Derek and Fran. And for Jack."

"That was sweet when he whispered that Haley was watching him," Zoe supplied. Emma and Ray nodded their approval.

"But that doesn't erase what he did," Jason reminded the women. "He crossed the line."

"We brought him back!" Zoe cried passionately. "We saved him."

"We only partially saved him. He still wants to cloister himself off in that cabin in the woods if Em leaves. And Em is determined to leave for Europe. The only thing we've saved is the team."

"But that counts for something. Doesn't it?" Zoe wondered. "Dave is not a bad man…"

"Misguided and jaded," Emma supplied as an afterthought, "but not bad."

"I can attest to that," Ray interjected.

Jason threw up his hands. "Okay. Let's give the benefit of the doubt that we made a difference. But December 2015 is only a few years away. Once Em gets on that plane, no matter what we did two nights ago is not going to make a difference. She will die and so will Dave's heart."

"She still loves Dave. I saw it. I felt it…." Zoe paused. "What is Dave doing?" she asked slowly. Her attention was drawn to the expensively decorated study and the man kneeling down in front of the fireplace.

Stopped by her comment, Jason, Emma, and Ray turned to see what had caught her attention.

"Is that my picture?" Emma whispered. A weird flutter filled her as she watched the man she once loved more than anything touch the picture lovingly.

"Maybe we were wrong," Ray admitted reluctantly. He hated being wrong, and now it looked like he had bet on the wrong horse. '

"I'm sorry Ray," Jason apologized and laid a hand on his shoulder. Comfort was something they were allowed to have in heaven and he was glad. "I know how much you wanted your wings."

Ray shrugged. "I don't care about my wings; I just wanted to save Dave and Em."

"I know." Jason couldn't think of anything else to say.

"What is he doing? Did he just throw my picture in the fire?" Emma cried out happily.

"_Good-bye Emma,"_ Dave whispered as the fire consumed the 3X5.

"Good-bye Dave," Emma whispered as tears ran down her cheeks.

"We saved him," Zoe wept happily.

"Now we need to save Em," Jason stated firmly. Everyone nodded. "Who's up to making a phone call?"

Three hands flew up in response.


	30. Chapter 30

_**For Matt and Michaela.**_

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style**

The church was empty now that the worshippers had departed for their homes to prepare for Christmas morning. It had been a packed house and the feeling of joy and goodwill toward men had been too infectious not to ignore. And even though the sanctuary was silent, peace and hope still filled the air.

Dave Rossi sat in the front pew. Intently he stared at the Nativity scene in the corner of the dais. It was so pure and lovely, and he was drawn to it. Walking up the steps, he knelt down to examine the scene. He took in the faces of the Virgin Mary and Joseph. Maybe it was the profiler in him, but with the serene and reverend looks, he could see the apprehension and the fear at what could lie before them as they agreed to do the will of God through a baby. A son. The Savior.

Hesitantly, he reached out to touch the infant in the manger. And then his heart burst with a love so powerful he wanted to weep.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a soft voice spoke from behind Dave.

Emily! "It is," he agreed. "Sometimes I have to remind myself that it's a porcelain replica and not the real thing." Dave stood up and turned around to face the woman of his heart. "Hello, Emily."

She looked around at the empty church. "I guess I missed Mass…again."

"It was a great sermon; Father Jimmy hit it out of the park," Dave supplied. "I think you would have liked it."

"Father Jimmy always has great sermons," Em corrected. "And I have no doubt that he was superb."

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?" she asked carefully.

"To make you run late."

"I fell asleep."

"Ah," Dave said as though he agreed, but he had no idea what he was agreeing to; it was just something to say.

"The movers are coming in a couple of days, and I've been packing the apartment up," she supplied. "I can't believe all of the stuff I've manage to accumulate since being resurrected." She gave a short laugh.

"Are you putting it in storage or taking it?" Dave asked.

"Storage for the things I can't ship, but everything else is going with me."

"And Sergio?" Concern was in his voice.

"He gets to stay with his Auntie Pen…at least until I get back." The small ember for Dave that she thought was extinguished slowly flared back to life. A thrill went thru her, and she gave herself a mental admonition: _Get over it, Emily! Just leave and go home!_

"I'll bet he'll like that." Dave was trying to make the small talk, but all he could see was Em's grave marker set alone in the cold, frozen ground. He wanted to make her stay. He needed to make her stay. There had to be something he could say to change her mind. _Think Dave, think! You write books, you create dialogue, so think of something to change her mind…fast!_

Em looked at her watch. "I really have to go," she excused. "Thanks for the talk."

"Don't go."

Em blinked in surprise. "What? What did you say?"

"Don't go. Please."

"Dave…" Em pulled back just a little.

"Look Em, I'm really not good at this whole begging thing, and I'm doing my best not to lose the moment, but I can't let you walk out that door." Dave took a step forward. "I need you."

"Dave…"

"And you need me, too. We're two halves to some kind of weird puzzle called life," he went on in a rush. "There is something in you that completes me. I was too blind to see it before, but I swear, it's what I need to survive."

Em shook her head. "This isn't happening. I have to go," she repeated but didn't pull back.

"No! Don't leave. Not now. Look Em, I've made mistakes and I've screwed up royally. There are things I've done and said that maybe we can never get past, but that's the wonderful thing about life and love - it mends what is broken and it gives you that shove to get past what is too painful to acknowledge."

Em wrapped her arms around her waist to ward off the sudden chill. "Is this why you asked me down here? To hear your confession?"

Dave looked bewildered. "I didn't ask you down here, you asked me down here."

"Uh uh, Mister, you delivered a hand written note under my door tonight and asked me to meet you here after Midnight Mass," she corrected. Anger tinged her tone. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out the cream coloured envelope and thrust it at him. "I would know this signature anywhere."

Dave took the envelope. Slowly he turned it around in his hands. It _was_ his handwriting; there was no mistaking the unique way he linked all the letters together.

"The only profiler I know who has the handwriting of a serial killer," Em quipped.

"I didn't write this," Dave admitted.

Em gave him a quizzical smile. "Yes you did."

"Well, if I wrote this, then you wrote this," he returned and pulled out the cream coloured envelope and gave it to her. "No one else I know dots their I's that way."

Em swallowed as she scanned the contents that similarly matched the card that was left at her apartment. "I didn't write this." She slid the card back into the envelope. "What is going on here?"

Dave chuckled dryly. "You would never believe me, but if I had to guess, I would say that there are some people who think that we belong together."

"Then they are high."

"You could say they already are, but not the way you think," he replied tongue in cheek.

"Well obviously they have no idea what you put me thru," Em continued. "Because if they did, they would be thinking the opposite."

"They know that we still love one another."

Em glared, but she didn't say anything to deny what he said.

"Tell me that they are lying." Dave moved in closer. "Tell me that you don't love me anymore and I'll let you walk out the door and I'll never bother you again." Dave took her hands. "But I can't guarantee that because I don't go after you that I won't stop loving you."

Em's mouth twitched. Dave was touching her, and as much as she wanted to turn and run, there was something in his eyes that begged her to stay and hear him out.

"In all my life, I have never loved anyone as much as I love you."

"Loved," she corrected.

"No, Em, I _love_ you," he stated emphatically. "I was stupid. But I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Why do you think we were both brought down here to Church on Christmas Eve? Even God thinks that we deserve a second chance."

"You did save Derek's mother," she admitted. "And you brought Santa to the children. But…"

"But…?" Dave prompted with his heart in his throat.

"But I don't know if I can trust you. What you did…no one has ever hurt me that much. You broke my heart."

"I broke my heart too. It took losing you to make me realize that no hell can ever compare to what my life has been without you in it. And if I lose you again, hell will be inviting compared to my remaining days on earth."

"I can't go thru that again."

"I know."

She blinked back the tears. "You might change your mind. You might find another ghost from your past to keep you from finding happiness."

Dave pulled out his wallet and handed it to Em. "Tell me what's missing."

Em took the wallet. "I…"

"Open it and tell me what's missing," he repeated softly.

Slowly Em opened the wallet and flipped thru the contents. Each picture was in place but for one. Quickly her eyes looked up into Dave's. "Emma," she stated. "Emma's picture isn't here."

"I know."

"Where is it?" She checked the wallet again.

"I burned it."

Em's mouth dropped open. "You what? Are you kidding?"

Dave took the wallet and replaced it. "Seeing as we are in a church and after everything I've done, lying probably would not endear me to the Big Guy." He smiled crookedly. "I burned it. I said good-bye to her like I should have back when she first left me."

"But you love her!" Em protested.

"_Loved_," Dave corrected. "I love you, Emily Prentiss."

"But…I…" Em started but couldn't finish her thought out loud. "What will Emma think?" she asked stupidly.

"I'm sure she's okay with it." Dave took another step closer. "Besides, I'm going to need that space for a picture something more important than a love from my past."

Em licked her lips. "What kind of something?"

"Our children."

The silence in the church was almost deafening. Without warning, Dave dropped to one knee. With one hand he held Em's small white one while his other fished around in his coat pocket. Producing a small black box, he opened it.

In shock, Em looked at Dave then at blue sapphire winking at her, then back at Dave.

"What…? What…?" she stammered.

"Emily Marie Prentiss, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Everyday I'm going to make it up to you for all the stupid things I've done to hurt you." Extracting the ring, Dave slipped it on Em's finger.

"Will you marry me?"


	31. Chapter 31

**A Christmas Carol: Dave Rossi Style **

"Emily Prentiss, will you marry me?"

Em looked at the sparkling ring in Dave's hand and the expression on his face. He really did love her. And that he was kneeling on the floor of a church on Christmas Eve/Christmas morning was more evidence of how much he loved her. Maybe even more than she knew.

She had to give him an answer...it was only right. Glancing between the diamond solitaire and Dave's eager look of anticipation, Em felt a feeling she couldn't describe begin to build up in her gut.

"What? What did you say?" she asked.

"Will you marry me?" Dave repeated. His knee hurt from kneeling down on the cold marble floor of the Church, but it was worth it. The pain…the soreness…it was a small price to pay to have Em back in his arms.

Dave's question rung in her ears. That's what she thought he had said. Now she knew the answer she was going to give him.

Reaching out, she cupped his cheek lovingly as she looked into his eyes.

"No."

Dave blinked as he felt the air catch in his lungs. "What? What did you say?" It was his turn to sound confused.

"I want to...God knows I would give anything to say 'yes', but I can't." Em bestowed a kind smile on him. "And because I can't say 'yes', I'm going to have to say 'no'."

Dave stood up. Fear gripped his heart. "Em...if it's about what I did...I'm sorry. I swear as God is my witness, I am sorry. I will pay for the rest of eternity if you walk out that door. But I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you stay," he pleaded. _Pleaded_? Dave Rossi never pleaded, but this time he couldn't help it. Emily was going to walk out that door and into the arms of the Grim Reaper if he didn't make her stay.

Em shook her head. "I can't."

"I love you. You love me. I know you do. If you didn't, you wouldn't be here. You would have torn that note up. You would be on the plane out to God only knows where," he rushed on quickly as though hell was burning at his heels.

"I came because I needed to know that the choice I made was the right one," she replied. "I do love you...more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. But I can't marry you." She started to turn away when Dave grabbed her hands.

"Don't go. If you don't want to marry me, I understand. It's going to hurt, but I can live with that. But I can't live with myself if anything was to happen to you and I could never see you again."

"That's what 'good-bye' means, Dave. It means having to leave things behind and move on to other new faces and places. For the first time in my life I feel so good about this decision. And I have you to thank you for it."

Dave's brown eyes searched Em's for the elusive answer he just couldn't seem to find. "How did I…?"

"You made me see that I could stand on my own two feet. You made me see that I could bounce back from the worst thing to ever happen to me and move on."

"I'm not following you. Em…"

"I have to move on," she said confidently. "I have to start living my life for me. Christmas is supposed to be about miracles. And seeing you here telling me that you love me is more than I could have ever wished for. It's definitely a miracle to see Dave Rossi find himself."

For the first time in his life, Dave was speechless. But what could he say?

"The fourth time is going to be the charm, Dave, but not with me. I hope she makes you happy and gives you the love you deserve."

Dave's lip twitched involuntarily - the only sign of emotion…aside from the tears forming in his eyes. He wanted to reach out and hold her - make her stay. But he was frozen in place.

Standing on tip toe, Em pressed a kiss to Dave's mouth. "I love you, Dave. I always will." Brushing the lock of hair from his forehead, she smiled warmly. "Good-bye."

Turning on her heel, she walked down the aisle of the church. She could feel Dave's eyes on her back, but she felt good. Even better than good. She felt great!

Pushing the double doors open, she stepped outside into the cold winter night and disappeared into the darkness.

Stunned silent, Dave watched her leave…forever.

Finally, as the moment finally sunk in, he pocketed the ring in his overcoat. His mind was blank and his feelings were numb. He had given it his best shot and he had fallen short. And now it was time to move on.

Following the path Em took, he bundled up against the cold wind and stepped out of the church. Adjusting his eyes, he made out the imprint of Em's boots. She had gone right, so he was going left. Just as it should have always been.

He would always love Em. Now it was time to go home.

"We failed," Emma cried.

"I should have known Dave would lose Em," Ray admitted with a sigh.

"You didn't get your wings," Jason comforted. "I know that you really wanted them. Maybe next time…"

Ray sighed. "I'm okay." He watched as Dave faded into the night. "I knew going in that it could end this way."

"We didn't fail," Zoe interrupted.

"What do you mean?" Emma cried. "After everything we did and showed him, Em still walked out of his life. We failed."

"No," Zoe argued, "we saved him. He was on the path to self-destruction but we turned him away. He redeemed himself with the team and with himself."

"But he didn't get Emily; she walked out!"

"He was never meant to get Emily."

"What?" Emma, Ray, and Jason chorused together as they looked at Zoe in confusion.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you, but Dave and Emily were never supposed to get together. This was for Dave," Zoe replied matter of fact.

"Are you saying that everything we did was a 'learning experience'?" Emma demanded. "After all we went thru and put him thru, this was…for naught?"

Zoe shook her head. "No. God considers this Dave's lesson in 'personal growth'," she corrected.

"He lives and Emily dies?" Ray shook his head in disbelief.

"He grows and learns. Emily's destiny is out of our hands. We weren't supposed to save her."

"But Spencer was supposed to be saved?" Ray wondered.

"And Derek's mother?" Jason quipped.

"Both have something else to give," Zoe said.

"It wasn't their time," Emma concluded.

Silence filled the space as the four angels looked at one another.

"Christmas is about miracles. Dave Rossi learned to love, and in the process, he learned a valuable lesson," Zoe said softly. "Our mission was him. We kept it."

"And Emily?" Emma asked cautiously.

"The Big Guy wants you to be there when it's her time. You're her guardian angel."

"At least we'll have a lot to talk about…although it will be about Dave." Emma's smile was faint but it was there.

"So, what do we do next?" Ray wondered.

"It is Christmas. Let's go look at the lights," Jason suggested. "They're nice in Georgetown…if I remember correctly."

"Sounds like fun."

Taking one last look at the sanctuary and the manger set under the bright light, the angels turned around and walked away with their heads head high.

Their mission had been accomplished and though they may have lost the battle, they had won the war.

And that's what mattered in the end.

_The End._

* * *

><p><em>When a job is fun, it's not a job anymore.<br>But when a job stops being fun, it becomes a chore.  
>When the chore wears you down until you don't know what to do,<br>Sometimes you have to wash your hands and say "I'm through".  
>The fun is done…for now…at least for a while.<br>I have to go and find my smile.  
>I'll come back, and when I do,<br>I promise to write more for you._

_Kate._


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